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watch My first flick

I'm 47, a teacher by trade, and visual artist
www.haroldsmithart.com
Here's my first movie...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/xpV8F_cvzp0&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/xpV8F_cvzp0&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
A short film about an odd encounter in a public park.
Starring: Rufus Burns and Samra Teferra
Written and Directed by: Harold Smith
Edited by: Harold Smith
Music by: Kevin MacLeod
Filmed with a Sony CX12
Edited using Windows Live! Movie Maker and VideoStudio Pro X3
Technical Notes: My PC was too slow to efficiently edit AVCHD footage, so I had to convert it to SD using MovieMaker, save as an .AVI file and then edit in VideoStudio. The resulting file was 1.2GB, too large for Vimeo so I had to re-render into a .MP4 container and then upload.
 
Hey, Harold.

Not bad for a first film!

I'm not a techie, so I won't comment on aspect ratio and rendering of lens apertures, and all that gobbledeygook.

Loved Rufus! The pen/lip stuff was funny (I hope it was intended to be, heh). I think it could be edited down a bit; some of the actors' reactions went on too long, I think.

My one regret is that you never showed Rufus' drawing.

Now go make another one!

best,

-Charles
 
I think it looked something like this:

3826774520_eaaa5315b8.jpg


Just kidding. In all seriousness, nice work. You've come to the right place to learn more about this craft.

My favorite book to recommend to first-timers:

http://www.amazon.com/Bare-Bones-Camera-Course-Video/dp/0960371818

I definitely learned a lot from it. And it's cheap. And a ridiculously easy read.

Best of luck!
 
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Some nice emotion generated here! It's a good setup and I also wanted to see the drawing. I was thinking that you borrow an artist, or you could take a framegrab of her and render a "pencil sketch" version. You still could have her hold it the same way, except we (the audience) could see it through the back of the paper. That way, it wouldn't seem too detailed.

Of course, I noticed shaky shots, exposure jumps, etc., but for a first time short, the content was there. This is powerful and full of character.
 
Pretty cool and simple.

If you wanted to reveal the drawing, you could cut the close-up where their thumbs touch (so we don’t actually see the paper from behind) and continue at her reaction shot, then put the closing credits over a sketch done on that same kind of paper.


-Thanks-
 
the beginning i loved, especially the few shots of the statue- beautiful. i was let down a little when we got to the characters, i feel like you have the creativity but didnt use it. it just seemed a bit repetative and well, boring. you have something there you just need to work on bringing it out. all in all it was a good first effort.

also it may just be a preference, but to me the reactions, specifically from the girl, should have been more subtle. it was obvious she was acting.

the music was cool and everything but maybe didnt fit the mood of the subject.

i, too, was hoping to see the drawing! you dont have to keep it on screen for us to study, but a second or two just to get an image in our head would have been nice.

again, good effort. keep creating.
 
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