watch My First Attempt to do a Short Film/Scene

[lightcameraction]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ojnl0E1PkAU

Hey everyone!This is my first attempt to tell a story.I did couple of scenes before but they were absolutely terrible and about 30 seconds long.

We had lots and lots of issues on set (only me and my brother actually ) and I came with this story on the location,my script was completely different and I had only hour and a half to shoot + one of my lighting fell and broke . :S Bad luck!

However,I really wanted to try to build a suspenseful story.This was my purpose - Suspense.

It's my first attempt and I'm 16 years old ,so I'm not very experienced , so wanted to ask you for opinion and tell me -is it that bad or not?Want some opinions .

If you think it's absolutely terrible - tell me.I really want some constructive critisism so I can improve.

 

[navmachine]

This was fun! I really liked the lighting and the footage looked pretty good. There was hardly any grain for a low light situation so nice job.
My suggestions:
1) Sound design; the effects were repetitive and it felt like the creakiest place on earth either that or they were on a wooden ship.
2) Pacing. By adding a few faster shots and cuts, it might add more suspense and anticipation. The middle seemed to drag out too long.
Keep making movies! As long as you are having fun, that's all that matters!
-Matt

 

[Murdock]

I agree with NAV. Also, the ole wedge the chair on the door to keep it closed only works if the chair actually reaches the door nob.

 

[Zensteve]

Needs some story in the mix.

What's next?

 

[Alcove Audio]

What's with all the creaking? (If you want to hear an interesting use of creaking try "The Changeling" [1980], or the opening sequence of "Master and Commander.") And what's with all the whooshes? And the same one over and over! Footsteps were out of sync (1:35). No water sounds (2:15). No footsteps at all (2:30). No door rattling sounds (3:06).

Extremely cliché door creaks (it's bad enough to have to use the cliché of a creaking door - at least make it interesting). I didn't like the electronic key access sound at all (0:38) which was also much to loud. No weapons handling sounds. No breathing in the gas mask sounds. Couldn't hear the score.

As a guess I would say you raided a few free sound libraries and a few video games. Overall score - D

Sound is all about details and subtlety - except when doing extreme action or slapstick comedy. The mix is all about focusing on sonically what you see visually. Be honest, how much time did you spend on audio post? I do it for a living so can work very fast, have all the gear, the props & the library and I would have spent about 10 to 15 hours on design/editing plus another three or four to mix. Really good sound will never save a project but at least can add a little depth and tension.

 

[lightcameraction]

What's with all the creaking? (If you want to hear an interesting use of creaking try "The Changeling" [1980], or the opening sequence of "Master and Commander.") And what's with all the whooshes? And the same one over and over! Footsteps were out of sync (1:35). No water sounds (2:15). No footsteps at all (2:30). No door rattling sounds (3:06).

Extremely cliché door creaks (it's bad enough to have to use the cliché of a creaking door - at least make it interesting). I didn't like the electronic key access sound at all (0:38) which was also much to loud. No weapons handling sounds. No breathing in the gas mask sounds. Couldn't hear the score.

As a guess I would say you raided a few free sound libraries and a few video games. Overall score - D

Sound is all about details and subtlety - except when doing extreme action or slapstick comedy. The mix is all about focusing on sonically what you see visually. Be honest, how much time did you spend on audio post? I do it for a living so can work very fast, have all the gear, the props & the library and I would have spent about 10 to 15 hours on design/editing plus another three or four to mix. Really good sound will never save a project but at least can add a little depth and tension.

I didn't do the sound.I was going on a vacation so a friend of mine did it.So..I don't know what time he spend.Let me correct you - there is a water sound.The breathing in the gas mask would be awesome indeed,but it was like a favor,I couldn't say anything bad.

I agree with everything you said,however,i wanted to hear more opinions about the color correction for instance.

Murdock I know but I though some of the people won't care that much since it's a first attempt and it's more like for friends and family .So I though it will add a cool feel in it.However I wanted opinions to tell me where am I terrible ,etc so I can try work on that part.

 

[lightcameraction]

Needs some story in the mix.

What's next?

If you are asking for next 'project' .

Well for the past couple of months I've been testing different locations + quite a lot effects at After Effects and 3D Max/Maya.

So after couple of weeks I'll get a descent mic + I'll pay a professional actor from my town ( it's pretty cheap though ) ,because I won a photography competitions and I got quite some money.It was actually sort of film/cinematography competition.However i can invest in some nice gear + this film.

It's a short Sci-Fi / Action video so hopefuly it will turn out something nice,because I don't like doing scenes/test a lot..

Thank you for your feedback as well and I clearly understand that this is not very good.Personally to me - I hate it.Anyway - I hate everything I do.I love doing it,but at the end of the day I'm asking myself:

'' Really ? You made this piece of crap ?"

Thank you a lot for your feedback and I agree with everything you said - From the cracking sounds to the syncing.It was my bad ,I should've told him what exactly to do