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watch Lumens - Jackie Chan inspired action flick

i hated the music and the sound that sounds like distortion rumbling.

the continuity of shots was good, choreography was good, some bits where they were fighting looked a bit stupid it looked like he was throwing slaps rather than punches which resulted in him looking like a penguin.

but yes a very good attempt, but add a colour tint to it to add some feeling, otherwise it looks like a flipcam homemade movie
 
8salacious9 said:
but yes a very good attempt, but add a colour tint to it to add some feeling, otherwise it looks like a flipcam homemade movie
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Just curious if you happen to have any specific suggestions on the coloring of it. I did add a bit of color correction that saturated it a bit and added some contrast and also made it a bit warmer but I've been having trouble figuring out exactly how far and what I can do with color grading. I know probably experimenting would be the best thing to do but if you have any suggestions for me I'd greatly appreciate.

Also thanks for the comments so far I do appreciate!
 
All things considered that was fairly decent. :yes:

Disregarding the scenario & premise and just looking at this as a production exercise I would primarily work toward improving only a couple things.

#1 Build a DIY shoulder rest or FigRig-like stabilizer.
http://www.youtube.com/results?sear....183.3664.7j21.28.0...0.0...1ac.1.tFu2B0ewLcg
http://www.youtube.com/results?sear....183.3664.7j21.28.0...0.0...1ac.1.tFu2B0ewLcg
Hand holding a lightweight camera allows too many tiny muscle twitches to jar the camera about.

#2 Try not to shoot on a cloudless sunny day.
Overcast skies are your images' best friends!
20120729-182543.jpg


Choreography was pretty good.
Shot planning was pretty good.
Acting & story theme (other than the pointless opening stuff) were pretty consistent.

Did you shoot this at 60fps or was it a high shutter speed due to the massive amounts of light that gave it that choppy effect?
I don't care for it, but figured it could be a director's discretion thing.

Um... is that little kid park babbling in the audio background?
Any reason you elected to leave that in? :)
 
rayw said:
All things considered that was fairly decent. :yes:

Disregarding the scenario & premise and just looking at this as a production exercise I would primarily work toward improving only a couple things.

#1 Build a DIY shoulder rest or FigRig-like stabilizer. Yeah I actually built a small handheld rig for this shoot and it definitely helped compared to nothing but a shoulder mount is the next thing on my list especially after this shoot.

#2 Try not to shoot on a cloudless sunny day. I actually liked the lighting for this, it was a bit harsh but I liked the high contrast.

Choreography was pretty good.
Shot planning was pretty good.
Acting & story theme (other than the pointless opening stuff) were pretty consistent.

Did you shoot this at 60fps or was it a high shutter speed due to the massive amounts of light that gave it that choppy effect? I actually don't understand exactly what you are referring too
I don't care for it, but figured it could be a director's discretion thing.

Um... is that little kid park babbling in the audio background? That was actually a separate sound that was recorded and I put in to kind of act as an environment sound, guess I should of lowered some parts of it.
Any reason you elected to leave that in? :)
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I responded to everything in your style of the colored quote text haha.. Thank you though, I appreciate all your comments and input and the time you took to critique it for me
 
Yay for shoulder mount!

Directors discretion for hi-contrast = Cool. Go for it. :)

During the fast movements each frame of moving object has crisp edges on it rendering a "choppy" effect often referred to a a "Saving Private Ryan" effect.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bt3quhLmK4

A high frame rate, such as 60fps as opposed to 30fps, will create this.
However, a fast shutter speed, say... over 200, will also create this effect.

This fellow is likely in the UK somewhere where they have 50fps rather than the US 60fps, same principle though:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpPnfEME02A

Personal preference on the audio track. I woulda left it out entirely since it didn't add anything to the clip other than a distraction.
Your call.
 
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Critique: Overall I liked it. You've got a great knack for action directing. I did notice some things can could be improved:

The first dissolve shouldn't be there. You shouldn't establish and then disolve, which makes it two establishing shots in a row.

The rapid guy punches looked wrong, perhaps doing it from another angle would have made it better, either closer up over shoulder or from the perspective of the victim taking the beating.

There were some cuts that weren't tight enough. Just a few frames here and there would make some of the action flow a lot better.

The final sequence under the trees ended up giving you footage that was too dark.

Last but not least, I noticed that you used a lot of practical sound effects. While this may accurately portray what you filmed, Jackie Chan style is over the top. You started with the artificial sounding hits from Jackie Chan movies but when it came to the foot stomp on the table, it ended up sounding like a tantrum more than he dodged a powerful stomp that could have injured him. Doing some foley afterwards to ramp up the sound to make it more dramatic would lead it to a better, more dangerous feel.

I did notice a couple of other small sound effects like the birds chirping, which would have been nice if removed. The baton type thing, I didn't see the asian using it, though you showed him picking it up. It didn't lead to anything further. Small things like that which don't kill it, but can distract a little.
 
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Yeah that foot stomp was the actual sound of the clip that is probably why it sounds different from the rest of it. The birds chirping I think was again a sound I put in afterwards. I guess my sound environment building skills are lacking, this was really the first film I did quite a significant amount more of sound editing than before and I am still learning a ton for it. Any suggestions on changing how I am building my sound environments? Cause so far it seems that it is doing more harm than good what I tried to do.

The baton thing is actually a flashlight and it has to do with the story that we made up for it but it didn't come across at all in the video haha..

Also the statement about the cuts not being tight enough, after watching it a few times again and reading what you said I definitely notice it in a few shots that just kind of were a little weird and slightly too long.
 
pepper jack said:
Yeah that foot stomp was the actual sound of the clip that is probably why it sounds different from the rest of it. The birds chirping I think was again a sound I put in afterwards. I guess my sound environment building skills are lacking, this was really the first film I did quite a significant amount more of sound editing than before and I am still learning a ton for it. Any suggestions on changing how I am building my sound environments? Cause so far it seems that it is doing more harm than good what I tried to do.

The baton thing is actually a flashlight and it has to do with the story that we made up for it but it didn't come across at all in the video haha..

Also the statement about the cuts not being tight enough, after watching it a few times again and reading what you said I definitely notice it in a few shots that just kind of were a little weird and slightly too long.
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Look, I only watched it once but my strength used to be editing. It's amazing how much difference a single frame or two left in or taken out can change the quality of your work. Also if you have enough coverage, choosing the wrong angle to use can also throw off the audience.

I'm far from an expert when it comes to audio, so maybe APE would be better to ask. When I did stuff, if there wasn't a reason for the audio, I wouldn't put it in. Same for video, if it didn't help move the story forward, I'd also take it out. The birds were probably just too loud, they may have been fine if you lowered the volume on it. Try it without the bird noise. Try cutting the part where the bird sound is all together. You probably don't need it. I suspect your good 2 minute video may become a great video at 90 or 100 seconds.

I was thinking about your intro after I posted my comments. I thought an opening along the lines of both walking in opposite direction, stop on the path, exchange some poorly lip synced (think Monkey Magic) dialogue, probably even better if it was in another language (or made up for that matter) that acted as the 10 second platform as an excuse for the action.

I pointed out the foot stomp as it took away from the feel of it. Jackie Chan movies are usually over the top, tongue in cheek kind of things. You'd be better off putting in a sound of a big arm crushing a tree than that puff of smoke sound (yeah I'm exaggerating a little, but I think you get my point).

There's a movie/documentary that I watched about 6 months ago. It was really entertaining and somewhat educational (especially for what you're trying to achieve). It was called Jackie Chan My Stunts made in 1999. A good lesson in showman ship, giving the audience what they want and how to keep things new and fresh. Even tips on how to do his style of low budget special effects and stunts.
 
Choreography & accompanying cuts made that aspect quite good, I thought.

Invoking Jackie Chan, though, I was expecting a lot of interaction with props and set. That seems to be his thing.
 
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