Hey guys,
I wrote the second draft of my short, Love is Online. I posted the first draft last month and got some good comments. People told me about the lack of visuals in the story; therefore, I've added other elements to it, and tried to expand the story. As a result of this, page count has increased from seven to 12.
I will make this short in October, so I've a lot of time to make changes to it before I make it. So feel free to criticize anyway you want. Anything constructive is welcome (about the title of the short, too)
And I was not sure if it would be right to bump an old thread, so I created a new one. If it's against the rules, my apologies.
http://flipsydeworld.com/LoveisOnline.pdf
I wrote the second draft of my short, Love is Online. I posted the first draft last month and got some good comments. People told me about the lack of visuals in the story; therefore, I've added other elements to it, and tried to expand the story. As a result of this, page count has increased from seven to 12.
I will make this short in October, so I've a lot of time to make changes to it before I make it. So feel free to criticize anyway you want. Anything constructive is welcome (about the title of the short, too)
And I was not sure if it would be right to bump an old thread, so I created a new one. If it's against the rules, my apologies.
http://flipsydeworld.com/LoveisOnline.pdf