It's a lot of talking without anything actually happening, and I think you can do more with it.
Make us believe Eddie is creepy/scary. Right now, he just likes to sit in the shadows.
Put actions in their own line, rather than as parentheticals.
Example re Kate: she points over to Eddie's shadowy figure in the corner.
Do you mean that the mom wears 50's style clothes, like a poodle skirt and a sweater set? Or she wears contemporary clothes but with an apron?
Don't include anything in the action sequences that can't/won't be seen on the screen. Examples:
It's a one story house (include an establishing shot if that's relevant),
Kate regrets sitting up quickly. Stick to describing how that's apparent.
How can we feel Eddie's eerie presence? There's nothing to substantiate that.
How does the "vibe" in the room intensify? How will you show that?
I hope that helps.
