archived-videos "Lightning" my first short

C

CootDog

Per the request of Christopher, here it goes.

LIGHTNING - Is a short film my kids and I came up with. They were great. You can see the bloopers at the end, especially my big mess up. HAha!
I received my first DV cam the day before I shot this. It was the first time using the camera, First short from writing a script to finished product. I had been lurking, asking a lot of questions and that in various sites and forums. The experience taught me SO Much. You HAVE TO DO IT, or you'll never know.
I learned about my cam, the filters, lenses, sound, lighting, editing. I mean man, it was great!

i'm working on a documentary right now. But will be entering something in the IndieTalk festival too.
Pick up that Cam and shoot something, Damnit!


There are 3 sizes. BIG which is the 50 meg file. Then there's the two files I just submitted to Triggerstreet.com. HIGH is almost 15 megs and is 320x240 in size. LOW is 6 Megs and is 160x120 in size. Those are in .MOV format which is QuickTime.

Please let me know what you think. Thank You

http://cootdog.big-discount.com/Lightning2.wmv
http://cootdog.big-discount.com/LightningHIGH.mov
http://cootdog.big-discount.com/LightningLOW.mov
 
Upvote 0
Good Short

Coot,

Lightning was a nice piece, whether it was your first short film or not. You say you got the camera the day before the shoot... but you've obviously handled a camera before. And you have an enviable knack for working with children, those two were terrific.

The audio was a little weak so I ended up missing a lot of dialogue. Now that you've got the new camera, a good addition would be a shotgun microphone. You don't have to go overboard on cost - I picked up a cheap (~$50) one on eBay. A boom mic would be ideal, of course, but I've found the shotgun mic makes a dramatic difference just attached to the camera.

One other note about the audio - a little background music would go a long way to establishing the mood you're trying to convey. Try mixing another audio layer; play with the music levels during dialogue, it's an interesting experiment. I noticed the credit to SonnyBoo for end title music, that was cool.

The camera work was great. I like the various angles. Did you use a tripod or other stabilizer? The shots were so steady. A couple of close-ups would have been good (kids are inherently cute.)

Overall - a very good job. I look forward to seeing more!

Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention that your ISP rocks! I downloaded the MOV and WMV files and managed a sustained transfer rate of about 400Kbs. Not bad, not bad at all!
 
Nice work coot.

On one hand, I'm amazed that the kids could carry an entire scene in a master shot. On the other, I really missed seeing close ups of their faces.

Other than sound, I would suggest editing. For example: when Lightning goes into the house for the first time - cut as he enters. No need to linger on the door as it closes.

Tighten up beginning and ends. And it would be great to see close ups of the kids. Try shooting the scene from a couple of different angles. I know working with kids that age makes it quite a challenge, but it would also make your movie look less like a "homemovie".
 
Nice job friend, big ups to you for working with kids on your first short , I 've been working on shorts for awhile and kids just scare me! I really liked all the camera positions. I also liked the crazy sound effects. I agree with SPaulovich some close ups would be nice, just adds to the dynamics of storytelling. Overall greet job! :clap:
 
Thanks

Yea My kids are twins and are 6 years old. They were getting tired and it was just impossible to go on any further. I would have loved to get close ups BUT, my daughter kept looking at the camera. Just like Bobby Brady, all shocked and that. She's lightening up though.

I used a TriPod for all the shots. When "Lightning" opened the door it looks like the camera moved, but it was actually pixel shift that the camera did, cam did not move at all. I guess I could have turned off the EIS and it may have stopped it from happening. I guess I didn't even need it with a tripod being used.

I have used cams berfore but nothing for a production. This was really my first.
Yea the Audio is not so good. I actually have a cardoid mic at home. The kids use it for Karoke, so I've been using that on an extended paint pole. I have a halogen shop light now. I use it to bounce off an opposite wall.

My Cam is the Pannasonic GS120.

Thanks for the criticism. It's greatly appreciated.

:secret: Top Secret
Here is a VERY ROUGH DRAFT/FIRST CUT on a 5 min Doc I'm doing on a friend who's stationed in Baghdad.
Now this is 320x480 15fps and like 10khz mono or something like that. In other words the Audio sux. I was mess'n with the chanels so the music would be louder in 1 and his voice louder in the other, to balance. but in Mono crappy compression the beat from the music is not too good. I just need to turn the music down all together I think.

http://cootdogproductions.com/DOC
 
Cute :)

I think more of the shots should have been at "kids eye level" to really place the viewer there, though.

The Top Secret doc:

It's really hard to see the scenery/stills/footage of Iraq when the interviewee is superimposed with transparency set to half. Cut/fade completely from one to the other... or even do the "picture in picture" thing at some points, and have the interviewee superimposed in a box in the top left (or right) corner while the Iraq footage takes up most the screen.

:)
 
Zensteve said:
Cute :)

I think more of the shots should have been at "kids eye level" to really place the viewer there, though.

The Top Secret doc:

It's really hard to see the scenery/stills/footage of Iraq when the interviewee is superimposed with transparency set to half. Cut/fade completely from one to the other... or even do the "picture in picture" thing at some points, and have the interviewee superimposed in a box in the top left (or right) corner while the Iraq footage takes up most the screen.

:)
Click to expand...


Nice suggestions. Thanks very much
 
LIGHTNING

I agree with everything everyone has said. You have two little cuties there.

One thing that struck me was the home video feel of it. It's almost as if you set up the camera, left the room, and the kids just had a conversation. Not saying that's good or bad, just commenting.

To me, it needed more cuts (close ups, different angles, medium shots, coverage shots). I realise you were working with children, and they were getting cranky and tired. But next time, try to give the viewer more than one shot per scene to look at.

One other thing ... have either of your kids requested a trailer for the next short?

IRAQ THE DOC

The PIP Zen suggested is an idea that would work, and he is definitely right that the transparency has to go. I would suggest mixing it up, the interviewee does not have to be seen at all times. If we see him in the beginning, you can cut from him to some of the pics then back to him and just leave his Voice Over still running.

Also, try to cut up what he says, as it is it seems like a 5 minute ramble. You can mix up your audio like your video. Use a byte from him with the music underneath, then bring up the music for a few seconds, then drop the music down and go into another byte.

And while we are on the subject, the music needs variation as well. Right now, it seems to be the same volume throughout. Drop it up and down to fit the mood, also if you have access to other music (there are plenty of composers posting music here for download), use it.

I would recommend calling a local news staion and asking either the News Director, Chief Editor, or Chief Photog for some pointers on editing. If you get lucky they might send you some old sweeps pieces (the "special" packages that run during sweeps periods) to view and learn from. And if your really lucky, they might be interested in airing a shortened version on a weekend newscast. I've seen that happen.

Keep it up ...

Poke
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top