This is a funny blog I wrote for another website a while back.. but when submitted they never even replied to me or bothered to read it.
So I will post it here instead .. broken up into multiple posts since there is a 5 image limit
BEHOLD THE FUTURE
Life in the 23rd Century (According to the 5th Element)
The good news is that you can still catch a glipse of the sky, maybe even a star or two on a clear summer night.
The bad news is that the buildings only have a couple of elevators, and the wait time is forever. (but hey, you can always take the stairs!)
Big Brother 2.0
The police force is well-lit and oppresive, but scoff at the notion of safety.
Body armor has made amazing advances, but the police leave their mouths exposed, which is difficult to explain. That seems peculiar indeed, until you notice the giant codpiece these guys are sporting. Go on, check that baby out. Clearly someone here has a fascination with fellatio, and it isn't me. Okay, it could possibly be me, but you have to admit a codpiece like that would fit nicely into any penis's wardrobe.
Computers Still Suck
Even in the future, software design is terrible, and computers are still frustrating to use.
Consider this program, in .5498'th of a second, it can tell you all the details of exactly who you're looking at, or even what building or car.
In spite of this, it cannot tell the difference between Milla Jovovich and a tractor trailor. Press a button for person or vehicle.
Don't expect a touch screen phone
Korben Dallas is talking here on his cordless home phone. It's docking station is in the back corner of the room.
Seriously, he still has a landline. Not a single person uses a cell phone throughout the film, it's the weirdest thing. No ringtones, either.
Chef is no longer an occupation
Delicious food is created and cooked instantly! I recommend the chicken, I hear it's good.
Sadly this doesn't apply to pets, and if you forget to feed your cat it will die.
So I will post it here instead .. broken up into multiple posts since there is a 5 image limit
BEHOLD THE FUTURE
Life in the 23rd Century (According to the 5th Element)
The good news is that you can still catch a glipse of the sky, maybe even a star or two on a clear summer night.
The bad news is that the buildings only have a couple of elevators, and the wait time is forever. (but hey, you can always take the stairs!)
Big Brother 2.0
The police force is well-lit and oppresive, but scoff at the notion of safety.
Body armor has made amazing advances, but the police leave their mouths exposed, which is difficult to explain. That seems peculiar indeed, until you notice the giant codpiece these guys are sporting. Go on, check that baby out. Clearly someone here has a fascination with fellatio, and it isn't me. Okay, it could possibly be me, but you have to admit a codpiece like that would fit nicely into any penis's wardrobe.
Computers Still Suck
Even in the future, software design is terrible, and computers are still frustrating to use.
Consider this program, in .5498'th of a second, it can tell you all the details of exactly who you're looking at, or even what building or car.
In spite of this, it cannot tell the difference between Milla Jovovich and a tractor trailor. Press a button for person or vehicle.
Don't expect a touch screen phone
Korben Dallas is talking here on his cordless home phone. It's docking station is in the back corner of the room.
Seriously, he still has a landline. Not a single person uses a cell phone throughout the film, it's the weirdest thing. No ringtones, either.
Chef is no longer an occupation
Delicious food is created and cooked instantly! I recommend the chicken, I hear it's good.
Sadly this doesn't apply to pets, and if you forget to feed your cat it will die.
