Hey guys. I'm working on a scene for this mini series my brother and I are trying to make. I felt really squeamish writing this part and I'm wondering if this is too much? What do you guys think? Should I keep it, tune it down a bit, or just trash it altogether?
INT. SEXAHOLIC’S ANONYMOUS GROUP – AFTERNOON
TODD
I didn’t always want to be sick, you know?
Several people are sitting in a circle. The place is very plain, like a meeting hall in a library.
TODD
But, I don’t know…I mean, when you have a disease like AIDs…People take you seriously..They start to listen. They give you that attention. I didn’t have that where I grew up.
Several people in the crowd are shocked by what he’s saying; except for Ambrose.
TODD
Groups, like this. They don’t give you the same kind of connection that a group full of AIDs victims can give you.
The therapist gives a contemplative look.
TODD
Everyone’s going through the same horrible death. Something like that just makes you…Like brothers.
Todd pauses for a moment, like he’s going back to a different time.
TODD
I joined a group in the late 90s; gift givers. They really took pride in the whole AIDs thing; like a badge of honor for gay people. They offered to give it to anyone for free.
Todd bursts out in tears. The people around him give a sad expression, except for Ambrose.
TODD
But, I fucked up. God, I fucked up…There was a kid. He couldn’t have been older than 17. He wanted aids just like me so, I gave it to him. But he opted out at the last second…I didn’t stop.
The people around Todd are giving looks of disgust and disapproval.
TODD
They charged me for raping a minor. I would have gotten life but the kid was nice enough to admit that he wanted it at first. They shut the whole group down and that was that..15 years later here I am; out of prison…All that to be with others and now I’m gonna die alone…
Todd starts to sob uncontrollably.
TODD
I’m sorry.
THERAPIST
That’s ok, Todd.
INT. SEXAHOLIC’S ANONYMOUS GROUP – AFTERNOON
TODD
I didn’t always want to be sick, you know?
Several people are sitting in a circle. The place is very plain, like a meeting hall in a library.
TODD
But, I don’t know…I mean, when you have a disease like AIDs…People take you seriously..They start to listen. They give you that attention. I didn’t have that where I grew up.
Several people in the crowd are shocked by what he’s saying; except for Ambrose.
TODD
Groups, like this. They don’t give you the same kind of connection that a group full of AIDs victims can give you.
The therapist gives a contemplative look.
TODD
Everyone’s going through the same horrible death. Something like that just makes you…Like brothers.
Todd pauses for a moment, like he’s going back to a different time.
TODD
I joined a group in the late 90s; gift givers. They really took pride in the whole AIDs thing; like a badge of honor for gay people. They offered to give it to anyone for free.
Todd bursts out in tears. The people around him give a sad expression, except for Ambrose.
TODD
But, I fucked up. God, I fucked up…There was a kid. He couldn’t have been older than 17. He wanted aids just like me so, I gave it to him. But he opted out at the last second…I didn’t stop.
The people around Todd are giving looks of disgust and disapproval.
TODD
They charged me for raping a minor. I would have gotten life but the kid was nice enough to admit that he wanted it at first. They shut the whole group down and that was that..15 years later here I am; out of prison…All that to be with others and now I’m gonna die alone…
Todd starts to sob uncontrollably.
TODD
I’m sorry.
THERAPIST
That’s ok, Todd.