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story Indie horror film story feedback

I have a story outline for an indie horror film but would like to get some feedback before going ahead with the full script. Looking for folks interested in taking a look.
 
I would love to take a look. Horror is my jam. What theme is it?
Well I live in Northern Nevada right near the Sierras. So I thought it would be a perfect location for a Wendigo film. The creature has not been used much in movies, especially in its original form. The story outline is on my computer I'll send it when I'm back from the gym. It's set in the old west though that may need to change due to budget but I'm trying to write around the more expensive aspects of period films.
 

indietalk

IndieTalk Founder
Staff Member
Admin
Using your surroundings is awesome. The Old West is also a possibility on a small budget as long as you can budget some clothing, if you need a full town that is harder but there are some Western type tourist attractions you may be able to use.
 
Using your surroundings is awesome. The Old West is also a possibility on a small budget as long as you can budget some clothing, if you need a full town that is harder but there are some Western type tourist attractions you may be able to use.
I've thought about doing some town scene in Virginia City. Luckily most of it takes place in the wilderness, though. Well...not really luck I wrote it that way 😂
 
Well I live in Northern Nevada right near the Sierras. So I thought it would be a perfect location for a Wendigo film. The creature has not been used much in movies, especially in its original form. The story outline is on my computer I'll send it when I'm back from the gym. It's set in the old west though that may need to change due to budget but I'm trying to write around the more expensive aspects of period films.

Nice. I actually wrote a script for the Wendigo too. Planned on filming it while I was in Alaska, but got turned toward another local legend instead.
I will take a looksee! Maybe I can find my old script somewhere too.
 
Here's the story outline.

Read it. I would say I'm shocked because it seems so much similar to a short film I made.

I know this is just an outline, but I think you are focusing too much on the physical scenes and it doesn't match up with the subjects for each plot point.

Example: Worst obstacle shouldn't just be another encounter with the creature, but the main character's son dying from the illness or something really mentally and physically draining to the main character.

As I understand, the whole story or plot circle revolves around the main character's "heroic fable". If you base the outline around something like Harmon's story circle.... Then you would get potentially more scenes to fit in your plot outline.

screen-shot-2018-04-07-at-9-01-11-pm.png


I've written a couple of short film scripts before discovering all of this, and knowing this kind of stuff before you write really, really helps you get more details and ooomph from your character.
 
Read it. I would say I'm shocked because it seems so much similar to a short film I made.

I know this is just an outline, but I think you are focusing too much on the physical scenes and it doesn't match up with the subjects for each plot point.

Example: Worst obstacle shouldn't just be another encounter with the creature, but the main character's son dying from the illness or something really mentally and physically draining to the main character.

As I understand, the whole story or plot circle revolves around the main character's "heroic fable". If you base the outline around something like Harmon's story circle.... Then you would get potentially more scenes to fit in your plot outline.

View attachment 1331

I've written a couple of short film scripts before discovering all of this, and knowing this kind of stuff before you write really, really helps you get more details and ooomph from your character.
Alright, I'll give it another look over. Thanks! Also, I don't want to go overboard with the old west lingo but I'd like the languange to be authentic. Any suggestions?
 

indietalk

IndieTalk Founder
Staff Member
Admin
Yes. Watch westerns. Not only movies, TV shows. Rawhide (has Clint Eastwood), The Ponerosa, Bonanza.
 
I've started writing my horror western. About 70% done actually. Problem is...it's like 34 pages long! This was intended as my first feature length script, but writing something feature length is more difficult than I expected. And I consider myself a pretty wordy guy (I used to get complaints from teachers about my essays being TOO long). So I thought this wouldn't be an issue 😅
 

indietalk

IndieTalk Founder
Staff Member
Admin
Is it in proper screenplay format? If not you need to get it into format and then see where you are at pagewise.
 
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