archived-videos I Stare at Screens too Much

Mirman10

Mirman10

Hey Indie Talkers! I made a new short about staring at screens, It would be awesome if you guys could check it out, show it some love, and tell me what I should look to improve on in the future! Thanks a bunch in advance!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56aAVCnYNbs
 
Upvote 0
Good positive message and way ahead of the average short one usually finds online.

The edit needs to be much tighter, imho. I feel some of the shots go on a little too long and audience's attention may wane. Your message would be much more effective if momentum built consistently instead of dropping off in the middle.

Goodluck!
 
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