pre-production I am working on a 3d animated shortfilm and need feedback on the Animatic.

M

maximgehricke

For the past few months I have been concepting a 3d animated shortfilm. Now I am nearly finished and want to go into production, but before I would like to get some experienced eyes looking on the stuff for critique.

I have uploaded an animatic (2:45 min) and some concepts here: https://www.therookies.co/projects/16935

I am looking for honest feedback and critique here, not approvement, so please DONT be gentle :) Thanks for reading and in advance to any feedback given!
 
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Hi.

I just watched the animatic. It's a fun film with a cute idea. I enjoyed it a lot. Plus, importantly (and I should know, as I run an animation festival and get hundreds of entries) it never overstays its welcome. By that I mean it's a very good length. Having said that I feel the story would benefit from establishing that the little robot was alone, absolutely alone. Then we'd be creating more drama from the unexpected appearance of the 'other' robot and increase the mystery. You could easily do that with text at the start, although it'd be much nicer to establish that through the behavior of the robot instead.
 
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I've seen this exact plot already. AHHHH I cant rememberrrrrrrrrrrr

here are the details I have.. someone is looking across a street into an apartment
they see a murder happening. the murderer see's them! the murderer chases them.
shit happens. they end up in an apartment and kill the guy that was chasing them.
someone across the street is looking in and see's them be a murderer! They chase the person to explain.

repeat
i believe it was a short film as well, thats why i cant remember the name of it. if it were a feature length id remember.

here is my other criqitue.
your color palette sucks.

maybe thats just bc its in preproduction. have you put much time and thought into color?
 
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sfoster said:
here is my other criqitue.
your color palette sucks.

maybe thats just bc its in preproduction. have you put much time and thought into color?
Click to expand...
It's an animatic. It's the digital 3D animation equivalent of a traditional animation line test. Meaning it's just a rough. So there's deliberately no color and it's all just very low rez renders. Only the timings, shots and basic structure should be critiqued for animatics.
 
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Hey thank you all very much for the feedback! ^^

@Blaney establishing more that he is completely alone is a really nice idea, tho I am not quite sure how to show that better, without adding too many more shots.

@sfoster Now that you say it, I think I remember it too. I think it was Love Death & Robots, and damn its pretty similar. :/
Unfortunate, but I think I cant really change that.
"your color palette sucks."
I think you mean the colorscript with this? The colors were a pretty big challenge for me, so it doesnt surprise me if its not that good. Do you have ideas for better colors? I am pretty unsure how to improve it.
 
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maximgehricke said:
Hey thank you all very much for the feedback! ^^

@Blaney establishing more that he is completely alone is a really nice idea, tho I am not quite sure how to show that better, without adding too many more shots.

@sfoster Now that you say it, I think I remember it too. I think it was Love Death & Robots, and damn its pretty similar. :/
Unfortunate, but I think I cant really change that.
"your color palette sucks."
I think you mean the colorscript with this? The colors were a pretty big challenge for me, so it doesnt surprise me if its not that good. Do you have ideas for better colors? I am pretty unsure how to improve it.
Click to expand...

Use this website, select complementary colors


grey is really blah. i would avoid the grey. you could have brown dirt and a gold robot.
 
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@sfoster Ah I see, you mean the animatic. The animatic has no color concept integrated, it is just a viewport render from Maya, thus grey.

The actual colors can be seen in the colorscript below, I think I´ll be going for blue-ish ice, a cremewhite robot and a reddish sky (like a sunrise or a sunset, im still undecided)
 
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Hi! I was just wondering if you'd like some music composed for this? I'm looking to build a film portfolio specifically for cartoon and animation. I'm not charging anything right now but would only ask for permission to show it to others as part of this portfolio, with full credit and links given of course. Let me know if you're interested!
 
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patchworkguilt said:
Hi! I was just wondering if you'd like some music composed for this? I'm looking to build a film portfolio specifically for cartoon and animation. I'm not charging anything right now but would only ask for permission to show it to others as part of this portfolio, with full credit and links given of course. Let me know if you're interested!
Click to expand...
Hi!
I already have a score for the film.
If you want to compose something as an exercise tho, you are free to do so and you can also show/upload/share it, just mark it as not official :)

If you do, you can send me a quick email to score+maximgehricke@gmail.com , I´d love to see what you make.

All the best and thanks for the nice offer! :)
 
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