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How to write this scene?

H

harmonica44

A guy is being tortured for information by the hero. The hero runs over him with a lawn mower to make him talk, and spill it all. He then backs the mower off of him, and nothing happened to him. That's because the blade was removed but the mower still makes the same noise and all, so the guy was tricked into fear.

Will the audience be smart enough to understand that the blade was removed but it still runs the same and all, or do I have to have the hero give some sort of cheesy explanation to a guy he just tortured, which I'm hoping to avoid?
 
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SHOW don't TELL.

You don't need a cheesy explanation if you want to make it clear to your audience - just a quick cutaway to the hero holding the removed blade, or him throwing the lawnmower on to its side, allowing us to see there's nothing there to cut.
 
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I could, but that's also an explanation, just a non-verbal one. It's like how in a movie I saw a cop got shot in the chest and then removed a bulletproof vest and held it out, just saw the audience would get it. It seems to me that a non-verbal explanation can be cheesy too.
 
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I'd use a push mower (just like the visual better) and have the captor grab his arm and slowly force it into the area where the grass comes out. His arm comes out in one piece and the captors laugh (well maybe after he yells out the info they need). You'll have to figure it out.

I don't like the running over.
 
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I hope that when this script is written it says '... by harmonica44 and Indietalk.com'

I agree with the above post, the idea of running someone over with a lawn mover is a bit Home Alone. The old fashioned one will pose more difficulties but would actually be quite intense...
 
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NickClapper said:
I hope that when this script is written it says '... by harmonica44 and Indietalk.com'

I agree with the above post, the idea of running someone over with a lawn mover is a bit Home Alone. The old fashioned one will pose more difficulties but would actually be quite intense...
Click to expand...

I don't remember anyone getting lawn mowered in Home Alone lol.
 
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No there is no blade, I was just thinking of how the captor would do it, while making the victim think there was a blade. But the victim could still think that even though the captor is putting his hand near the mower. Won't make a difference to him.
 
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I'm not quite sure if it is possible to be seamlessly ran over by a lawn mower. Under no circumstance could a human body fit beneath underneath the compartment that meets the ground. There would have to be atleast an eight-inch gap between grass and blade. More like a hovercraft.

However, from a Writers point of view. Ollie said it.

SHOW, don't tell. Unless you're wanting to be purposely grotesque, need I mentionSaw...

The audience are not stupid. They'll have watched movies before. They'll have lived enough to be able to assume, and add 2+2 together without you giving them an in detail description.

SHOW us the threat (The oncoming lawn mower)
SHOW us WHAT that presents for our protagonist (The characters look of horror as it approaches)
SHOW us the villians reaction.

Then you decide.

Do we cut to him two hours earlier, dismantling the lawn mower?
Does he just drag the blade out of his pocket as it approaches?

Think it through, buddy.


It's all cost effective. Be it this is your first film. To convincingly attempt to illustrate somebody being ran over by a law mower is a tough one.
 
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Papertwinproductions said:
I'm not quite sure if it is possible to be seamlessly ran over by a lawn mower. Under no circumstance could a human body fit beneath underneath the compartment that meets the ground. There would have to be atleast an eight-inch gap between grass and blade. More like a hovercraft.
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Exactly. And it wouldn't have the power to get over a body either, it might get the from wheels up but that's it. If it did make it on top it'd get stuck. As noted the blade would probably not do damage anyway.

This is why it was noted that this would come across as funny, or unrealistic if you "made" it happen.

Go with the push mower and the arm. Intense!
 
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indietalk said:
Exactly. And it wouldn't have the power to get over a body either, it might get the from wheels up but that's it. If it did make it on top it'd get stuck. As noted the blade would probably not do damage anyway.

This is why it was noted that this would come across as funny, or unrealistic if you "made" it happen.

Go with the push mower and the arm. Intense!
Click to expand...

What about when you hear of lawn mower accidents? I recall a story of someone getting their foot chopped off.
 
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Papertwinproductions said:
I'm not quite sure if it is possible to be seamlessly ran over by a lawn mower. Under no circumstance could a human body fit beneath underneath the compartment that meets the ground. There would have to be atleast an eight-inch gap between grass and blade. More like a hovercraft.
Click to expand...

Run over, no. But possible -- yes!

I refer you to the superlative and epic lawn mower slaughter sequence in the uncut version of Peter Jackson's "Dead Alive" -- this is how to use a lawn mower as a murder weapon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tkaz_gT7mAY
 
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Oh yeah I see. Since we're talking about this scene anyway, I wanna ask your opinions. The script is about a group of terrorists creating acts all over the city and the hero is trying to stop them. he tortures this guy, who is not connected to the terrorists, but is a 'sympathizer', as the term is applied. He doesn't know where any of the terrorists are so he goes after a sympathizer, hoping, since there is nothing else to go on, that he knows something. The sympathizer just so happens to know one of them and knows where he'll be, in a few hours.

Is this too contrived or too convenient, to get to the climax? Once the climax comes it takes some original twists and turns, which I have not seen in other movies, but is it a weak way to get there?
 
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