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How do I write a sentence of dialogue in this context?

H

harmonica44

Let's say you have a scene where you want someone to say half a sentence, but not finish, cause the character he is speaking too, is suppose to figure out what the end of the sentence will be, or what the the character is thinking. Like if someone says "But, of course..." and then doesn't finish it but gives facial expression that indicates, that the but of course, will result in something that the opposite character, and the audience is suppose to figure out from the speaker's mannerisms and emotion.

Do I just describe in the action, that the character makes an emotional gesture that implies the specifics of what the rest of the sentence is? Or how is the reader suppose to get the answer, since they cannot see the character's emotions. On the other hand I don't want to write the dialogue so it spells out too much for the audience either. So how do you write emotional gestures that finish the ends of sentences that the reader is suppose to understand?

Thanks.
 
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While I'm sure there's plenty of ways to do it, the simplest way I'd approach it is as follows:

Bob
But, of course...?

(beat)

Tom
... (insert follow on dialogue here)

The question mark somewhat implies that the person finishing the sentence is answering, either by working it out or knowing what to say (which would be implied and understood by the reader depending on the line).
 
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Oh okay. I thought that by adding a question mark at the end, that would imply that the sentence is literally unfinished and we are to wonder what he is was going to say. Thanks then, I will write it that way. However, what if I don't want "Tom", to finish the sentence? What if I just want an emotional reaction shot, and I just want the scene to end right there, without the sentence finished at all. Will the reader understand what the end of the sentence is, if I just cut to the next scene? I am sure there are movies that do this, I am just not sure how to write it.
 
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I guess that depends on what's happenend earlier in the scene, and in the film. If it's been foreshadowed, and suddenly the character is realizing it at the end of the scene, that would be different to Bob knowing it and the audience knowing it, but not Tom. I'd suggest try writing it, then reading it aloud, then picturing it in your head, and if it doesn't sound/read/look right, continue on in the script and come back to it later so you can give it a fresh try, and with the following scenes written you may be able to make it come more naturally.
 
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harmonica44 said:
So how do you write emotional gestures that finish the ends of sentences that the reader is suppose to understand?
Click to expand...
If it's a spec script for someone else to direct then you don't include any direction on emotion.
If it's a script for you to direct then Sulaco's answer is dead on balls correct - because frankly you can put in whatever you want when you're directing. And likely producing.

Ellipsis (... ) indicate a dialog trailing thought. http://www.google.com/#q=define+ellipsis
Double dashes (-- ) indicate a dialog interuption.


Code: 
INT. NUDIE BAR - DAY

RAY, 30ish scalawag, stuffs another twenty deep in the dancer's 
G-string while SULACO, 30ish rogue, enjoys the view.

			RAY
		H is a smart guy and all.
		He's close to getting his
		act together.

			SULACO
		Yeah. But, of course...

			RAY
		Yeah. Exactly.

Sulaco's turn to stuff a twenty.

Something like that.
Description's not necessary.
 
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It's a HK$20 in a Hong Kong joint.
Not our money.
Sully and I just knocked over a bank a few hours earlier for a few gym bags of very colorful banknotes.
"Hey, Sul. Are these plastic?"
We're laying low while the loco popo rush about.
And this girl looks like she needs a few more won tons on her bones.


Or me.

And she's a dancer. Not a stripper.

Strippers need you to throw cash on the performance floor.

And she clearly has a G-string on... up... no... wait...

Now I have her G-string.

Yup.
She's a stripper.

Boy, is she new at this.



Very, very new.

I love enthusiasm.
 
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Code: 
INT. CLOUDY MIND - ANYTIME

RAY, 90 year old doddering fool, stares out the window at BIRDMAN, a bird 
and a man, staring back at him.

			RAY
		What were we discussing 
		in this thread?

			BIRDMAN
		How to continue a thought in 
		a script... and...

Ray blinks in thought.

			RAY
		I think--

			BIRDMAN
		How much to properly tip a 
		stripper! Jesus, Ray!
		Pay--

		BIRDMAN			RAY
	attention!		the stripper.

			BIRDMAN
			(laughs)
		No, Ray. Attention. Pay
		attention. F*ck me.
 
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rayw said:
Code: 
			RAY
		I think--

			BIRDMAN
		How much to properly tip a 
		stripper! Jesus, Ray!
		Pay--

		BIRDMAN			RAY
	attention!		the stripper.

			BIRDMAN
			(laughs)
		No, Ray. Attention. Pay
		attention. F*ck me.
Click to expand...

...Is that really how that should be scripted? If this is accurate, then I have scenes where I could actually use that code! Too funny!

Ray, if you were here I'd slide a $20 in your speedo!

-Birdman
 
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picard_ashamed.jpg
 
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Okay thanks. So far I have started writing it as as spec script, even though I plan on directing it myself. I am writing it as a spec, so that the readers (most likely the actors), will be able to concentrate on the story, and characters, and not be distracted by the director's thoughts on things.

Should I write it as a director's script, even if I am pitching it to other people at this stage?
 
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As Ray said, keep it simple for everyone else. If you want to write your own copy with descriptives to stimulate your own mind that's fine too, but focus more on the original one and then maybe adjust it for yourself at the appropriate time.
 
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Exactly, that's what I was thinking. A spec for everyone else... It's just a bit difficult to convey what the characters are thinking to the audience, since I cannot write out the facial emotions of the characters near as much.
 
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harmonica44 said:
... I cannot write out the facial emotions of the characters near as much.
Click to expand...
And you are going to drive all of your actors ape-sh!t crazy with that kind of micro-managing. :yes:

How you do it is, as director, establish during rehearsals that most every shot's going to take three or four takes.
The first two or three will be as you, the director, wants it.
The last or next couple can be how the actors want to do it.
Everybody gets what they want. Everyone gets a little control woody. :D

You may find out that your actors have some pretty good ideas.
Two, three, five heads are better than one.

Then, back at the editing suite, you can put in the film whateverTH you want.
 
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If there is a story stating character hesitates to act and looks nervous.
May be , it's worthy to l stating as it is in story ,
(jack hesitates and looks nervous)
rest is left up to director to decide how he will get it done.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Below is a scene(COMEDY) to portrayed,

Audition for live sex cam performer job for Weird section
Indian male :5.5 ft, quite fat.

with pink bunny cap on head , wearing bath towel (covered like women do from chest to thighs)

Camera man is scandinavian casting, His voice will be V.O

Camera man . v.o: Guy owning the site is italian guy, He loves see girls to die for him
like any other italina guy expects...
His favourite is Diane iane, she die for italian guy.

Hope, you can make moves like diane lane to please him.
You will surely get a job!!

East Indian : Dian lane , ok.
East Indian impersonates Diane lane.
(funny expressions)

---------------------------------------------------

So above i STATE impersonating Diane lane , so it is left up to director to imagine a funny East indian guy wearing pink bunny cap in bath towel impersonating Diane lane with his face expression and in East indian accent to impress the owner Italian guy !!!
 
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