How do I get these two to work together peacefully?

H

harmonica44

I was an actress short, when casting a short film so my fiance said she would do it. I decided to cast her cause I didn't want to blow my chance of not getting it made.

However, she really has a problem with the DP. She said the DP was trying to flirt with me. I am so preoccupied and tired on getting the project made, that if she did, I really didn't notice.

But now she doesn't want to work with the DP, and really resents her. She keeps constantly asking me to replace her, or she doesn't think she can do this... but I cannot find a new DP, nor do I need my fiance making production more difficult since I got enough to concentrate on.

Even if it's disrespectful to work with the DP, I think she should save any resentment, for after the project is done, cause right now it's about the project, or at least that's what I tell myself to get it done.

What do you think? I guess it's more of a personal question too, but as director/producer, I need to get the crew and cast under control, and get them to do their jobs on set, and not be emotionally distracted. What should I do?

Thanks.
 
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harmonica44 said:
Well I will talk to her again. Now she is furious cause I bought food for the DP, cause I get food for the crew of course, since they are working for no pay and all. Even if they were working for pay, I would still feed them.

However she is frustrated, and says that me spending food money on her, is a dishonor to our relationship, and now things are even harder I guess. I will talk to her again.
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:hmm:

Providing food & water for the crew is something essential and ethical. Your fiancée attacking you for providing something needed to your crew because of her unease about someone who you are working with sounds far from healthy. I don't want to offend you at all, but the relationship you're in screams of dysfunction. That last part about the dishonor of the relationship is one of the strangest things I've seen on the site next to the guy from Miami who wanted to make a snuff film... except that guy was trolling.

If she isn't allowing you to work with who you want to work with, that is going to hurt you in trying to become a filmmaker, limiting your ability to communicate and collaborate. If your relationship isn't strong enough to survive this film, it's either a poor or not very developed relationship. I mean that with all respect.
 
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maz said:
You don't have a bunny, do you?
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jimmy-stewarts-harvey-L-Lf00D1.png
 
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ChimpPhobiaFilms said:
:hmm:

Providing food & water for the crew is something essential and ethical. Your fiancée attacking you for providing something needed to your crew because of her unease about someone who you are working with sounds far from healthy. I don't want to offend you at all, but the relationship you're in screams of dysfunction. That last part about the dishonor of the relationship is one of the strangest things I've seen on the site next to the guy from Miami who wanted to make a snuff film... except that guy was trolling.

If she isn't allowing you to work with who you want to work with, that is going to hurt you in trying to become a filmmaker, limiting your ability to communicate and collaborate. If your relationship isn't strong enough to survive this film, it's either a poor or not very developed relationship. I mean that with all respect.
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Yep, no disrespect taken. I agree with you and the relationship is questionable now. Thanks.
 
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I think when it comes to relationships and the job or major interest either party has, if you're not with someone who shares your dreams and goals, doesn't understand the complexities, doesn't understand the pressures, the sacrifices, challenges, and all the other random unforeseen events that can occur...then the relationship is always going to take some negative impact from whatever the job, major interest, dream or goal is, and what it requires.
 
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:yes: Yeah, homewreckers! =P

Sorry for the troubles, Harmonica.

It does sound like runaway jealousy is the real issue. Like it's been said, a little jealousy is perfectly normal, even desirable...but not when it's dysfunctional, not when it's (too) controlling.

So what? Will you only be allowed to work with chemically (or otherwise) castrated (or spayed) DPs?

Is there a way to delicately uninvited your fiancé to play the role?

Also, I have to agree that the two of you ought to address the jealousy issue in any case. Perhaps with counselling?
 
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