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archived-videos Hollywood Hill - First Short Film
- Thread starter kjones
- Start date
I might not be the most helpful 'critic'... but what just happened?
From what I got is:
A veteran is haunted by his past OIC and goes out on a mission but his Captain was shot down but in reality he was trying to save someone's life?
What I was expecting was the Veteran to kill the 'enemy' who attacked his Captain but in reality it was just a normal person. Maybe that's too dark though, since you're trying to dedicate this.
ANYWAYS, yea, it was shot pretty well, I liked the the acting for his Sergeant.
From what I got is:
A veteran is haunted by his past OIC and goes out on a mission but his Captain was shot down but in reality he was trying to save someone's life?
What I was expecting was the Veteran to kill the 'enemy' who attacked his Captain but in reality it was just a normal person. Maybe that's too dark though, since you're trying to dedicate this.
ANYWAYS, yea, it was shot pretty well, I liked the the acting for his Sergeant.
I think it was more like trying to draw a collalory between the Bataan Death March & the plight of immigrants making the (often treacherous & even deadly) trek across the desert border. Not quite sure that works, though, by itself.
I get the impression that maybe that dead immigrant was the soldier's father or grandfather? Maybe.
I did enjoy the pacing, and the film overall. A small amount of practical explosions (via safe compressed air) could have added so much more value to the attack sequence.
Done for college credit? I hope you got an A. Good stuff.
I get the impression that maybe that dead immigrant was the soldier's father or grandfather? Maybe.
I did enjoy the pacing, and the film overall. A small amount of practical explosions (via safe compressed air) could have added so much more value to the attack sequence.
Done for college credit? I hope you got an A. Good stuff.
tombah, ZenSteve-
Thanks for the look and feedback!
Not to be coy, but will explain the immigrant more after maybe a few more watch it.
Good idea on the compressed air-- we were originally going to use an airsoft pistol and "dust hits," but ran into light/time issues (film was shot in January).
Thanks again,
Kevin
Thanks for the look and feedback!
Not to be coy, but will explain the immigrant more after maybe a few more watch it.
Good idea on the compressed air-- we were originally going to use an airsoft pistol and "dust hits," but ran into light/time issues (film was shot in January).
Thanks again,
Kevin
The idea was to show that try as we might, the past can't be changed, and this is tragic for many men and women who've faced combat. The Sergeant died anyway, and it was coincidental that the main character came across an immigrant dying of exposure. Symbolically, the immigrant was the main character at 18 y.o., as a part of him "died" when he watched his Sergeant get killed.
I now think the immigrant should have been set up and shot way better. Also, perhaps this was too complex a subject to cover in 15 minutes...
Great job. I agree about being confused when I saw the mexican kid after his buddy got killed. My thoughts was that maybe he was delusional and the kid could have been with him the whole time. But that was a stretch. I was not really sure what to think. I was also trying to tie in the crossing of the boarder to the war. I was thinking the ending should be a shooting war between boarder patrol or maybe mexican drug lords. Where he would be thinking he is fighting the japs. Then his buddy gets killed by the boarder patrol or mexican drug lords. Then he figures out his buddy was actually a mexican kid that he knew or something like that. Maybe show that the kid was a neighbor kid that lived near him.
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Rockerrockstar, All-
Thanks one and all for your comments and taking the time to watch. Greatly appreciate it!
I think you're on target that the switch between Sergeant to immigrant dying could have been done way better. We wrote it to show it as a family of immigrants crossing the border, but the main character being so delusional he thinks he's back in the Japanese invasion of the Philippines (before the Sergeant dies). So maybe it was scripted a little more thoroughly, but I'm thinking it would still have been confusing, especially in a short film and my inexperience as a director...
No regrets though, it was a great experience and lesson in writing the script and putting it on the screen. Can't wait to do it again with these lessons learned.
Thanks one and all for your comments and taking the time to watch. Greatly appreciate it!
I think you're on target that the switch between Sergeant to immigrant dying could have been done way better. We wrote it to show it as a family of immigrants crossing the border, but the main character being so delusional he thinks he's back in the Japanese invasion of the Philippines (before the Sergeant dies). So maybe it was scripted a little more thoroughly, but I'm thinking it would still have been confusing, especially in a short film and my inexperience as a director...
No regrets though, it was a great experience and lesson in writing the script and putting it on the screen. Can't wait to do it again with these lessons learned.
I enjoyed it. My one complaint would be: there wasn't enough establishing information of this character. ( Everyone who knows what the Batan Death March is raise your hand??) I fully understand. I was infantry in the Army, and a Ranger at that. But most people will not get the history behind this character. Other than that I liked it.
Thanks for the look and comments, Murdock! (And Thank You for your service to our country.)
I agree that, in addition to the Sergeant/Immigrant switcheroo, the main character should have been set up better. A scene with some family members, including the little girl, might have been enough if written properly. Another big lesson I learned: make sure the story is understandable. Great photography and acting may be noticeable right away, but they can't overcome "Huh? I don't get it."
I agree that, in addition to the Sergeant/Immigrant switcheroo, the main character should have been set up better. A scene with some family members, including the little girl, might have been enough if written properly. Another big lesson I learned: make sure the story is understandable. Great photography and acting may be noticeable right away, but they can't overcome "Huh? I don't get it."
I would never have arrived at that by myself.
However, it's plain to see that a lot of care & effort went into the production. Can't fault anyone on that.
Sure, it might have lacked the nuances to let us read between the lines but it's still a great film that many people will have different interpretations of.
What's next?
Thanks for your thoughts, Zensteve!
As for what's next, I'm working with a couple writers on a 1/2 hour Cable/TV demo pilot that I'll direct in June. We're ambitious to say the least, but have a little money to work with and lots of connections built up over the last few years.
Planning to direct two projects next year, including the above. I'm writing up a few other stories for either Cable/TV demo pilots, film trailers, or webisodes. Too many ideas, not enough time!
Happy Holidays!
As for what's next, I'm working with a couple writers on a 1/2 hour Cable/TV demo pilot that I'll direct in June. We're ambitious to say the least, but have a little money to work with and lots of connections built up over the last few years.
Planning to direct two projects next year, including the above. I'm writing up a few other stories for either Cable/TV demo pilots, film trailers, or webisodes. Too many ideas, not enough time!
Happy Holidays!
Is there really snow on the ground on the Mexican border? That kept weirding me out.
I hate to beat a dead horse, but yeah, the narrative was a tad confusing, as far as what was really happening. Just my opinion - symbolism is best when it's more straight-forward, when the audience knows exactly what is being alluded to, not when everyone can have their own interpretation. That's just my two cents, and I know a lot of people would disagree with that.
Best of luck on your two planned projects.
I hate to beat a dead horse, but yeah, the narrative was a tad confusing, as far as what was really happening. Just my opinion - symbolism is best when it's more straight-forward, when the audience knows exactly what is being alluded to, not when everyone can have their own interpretation. That's just my two cents, and I know a lot of people would disagree with that.
Best of luck on your two planned projects.
Cracker Funk,
It indeed snows on the New Mexico/Mexico border. Not often, but it does.
I was pinned into the shoot dates by the film program, so had no choice on the month (January). Went for as much of a border desert "look" as possible without houses and power lines: The exterior locations are only 30 miles south of Santa Fe.
Thanks for your time and comments!
It indeed snows on the New Mexico/Mexico border. Not often, but it does.
I was pinned into the shoot dates by the film program, so had no choice on the month (January). Went for as much of a border desert "look" as possible without houses and power lines: The exterior locations are only 30 miles south of Santa Fe.
Thanks for your time and comments!
