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Help with screenplay idea

R

Ranger2288

Hey everyone, I'm new to the forums and I'm just looking for a little help with a new short screenplay I'm beginning to write. I'm just getting a basic outline of the plot right now and I'm having a little trouble with the ending. I thought I would post my idea on here to get some opinions and maybe see if anyone had some ideas on how to end it.

It starts out with a guy that loses his wife in childbirth and his newborn son dies of complications. His world is completely destroyed and he doesn't know how to deal with it. So he takes everything that his wife owned and everything that they bought for their new child and he burns it all. He feels like he will be able to erase the horrible memories if he just acts like he was never married and he never had a child. So he erases the two of them from his life and acts like they never existed. Everyone sees that his mind has become messed up and they don't know what to do. They try to get him to the funeral and everything, but he just keeps asking what funeral they are talking about and denying that he was every married or had a child.

I want it to end with his loved ones tricking him to get him to the funeral since he won't go on his own. When they get to the church and he realizes where he is and what is going on, he snaps and becomes violent and continues to resist seeing the caskets of his family. This is where my ideas run dry. I want there to be a happy ending since the whole story is sad, like he sees the picture of his wife and son and begins to cry and snaps back to reality. Then maybe it shows him accepting this fate and moving on with his life. If anyone has any ideas along those lines, I would love to hear them. I would also love to hear anyone's opinions on my story so far. Thanks in advance.
 
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How long of a short do you envision? Is this going to be a two minute, five minute, twenty? other length? I have an idea for a happy ending but more info would help.
 
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Just free wheeling brainstorming, but I always think cause and effect. If the widower burns a bonfire with everything, that could cause a stir with the local firetowers or fire marshall depending on burning permits and all-- suppose the Ranger who comes to investigate ends up consoling the man, perhaps sharing some history, end up a possible romantic interest in the mind of the viewers; although the man might still be grieving of course and not be interested in romance.

Or, thinking cause and effect, maybe someone who works at the funeral home or cemetery strikes up a friendship or romantic interest or consoling interest for the hero/man. Or a supernatural being in the guise of a human, i.e an angel, strikes up a conversation, friendship, etc. with him at the cemetery,

I would think of the ending you want, consider working backwards then in a cause and effect chain of events. Any specific way you want the story to end?

Ranger2288 said:
Sorry, I knew I forgot something. It's going to be around 15-20 minutes.
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I thought about ending it with the man meeting a person who then turns out to be an angel or something along those lines, but I was afraid that would be a little too cliche.

I would like to end it with him being consoled by someone, but I'm also thinking about adding some kind of twist. I have some time to brainstorm. Thanks for the ideas.
 
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You could have it with the guy meeting someone who went through a similar experince, like their partner dying. This person could give advice on how they got through it (in a psychological way) that makes him confront all he's been denying to himself so he eventually gives in. It could be that he misses the funeral (which might be best so it doesn't happen in too short a period of time) but later visits the grave(s) and thanks his saviour for helping him work through it. He could then either fall in love with the saviour or the saviour introduces him to someone else.
I think using psychology would be good as in a case like this, it's the only real way of overcoming this kind of problem.
 
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Onion Terror said:
You could have it with the guy meeting someone who went through a similar experince, like their partner dying. This person could give advice on how they got through it (in a psychological way) that makes him confront all he's been denying to himself so he eventually gives in. It could be that he misses the funeral (which might be best so it doesn't happen in too short a period of time) but later visits the grave(s) and thanks his saviour for helping him work through it. He could then either fall in love with the saviour or the saviour introduces him to someone else.
I think using psychology would be good as in a case like this, it's the only real way of overcoming this kind of problem.
Click to expand...

This is what I was leaning towards. I was gonna have him meet someone at the end when he visits the grave, then have it turn out that the other person lost his family in an accident or something. Then, after they share their stories and ways of coping, become friends. Thanks for the ideas.
 
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Ooh, I got it.

the twist is that the MAN died in childbirth (somehow) and he's a ghost the entire time!!

No seriously, I can't suggest an ending because this kind of story sounds like more of a "personal coping" character-based thing, and the ending should therefore be determined by the evolution of your characters... man starts off grieving, deals with grief by forgetting and gets amnesia, is forced to remember by friends, goes violently crazy... and then? ... well, what completes that arc? Obviously this is a story about dealing with grief, so it's a given that he's gotta 'fess up and deal with his dead wife and child.
By having another character just "appear" as a Deus Ex Machina at the end, it'll take all the credit for finding a solution away from your protagonist... maybe consider having the change come from WITHIN the main character, as in, the events he goes through during his amnesia end up shaping HIS decision to actually deal with his grief. Of course, he can go around talking to people who can console him during the course of his endeavor, but if it's a straight up "sharing of stories" smacked onto the end of it all, you'll loose the organic nature of the central drama.

That being said, since you're the writer (thus, the person who thought these characters up), no one can TELL you what a good ending would be better than those imaginary people in your head can.
 
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