Hello, I've been writing for a short film recently and I had a question for the screenwriting aspect of it. I'm a good writer and I am the writer of this film as well as the director, but should I get a screenwriter on the project or should I do it myself?
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- Thread starter adastrafilm
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If you can find a screenwriter who you like working with that might
be a great collaboration. If you can't, better to do it yourself.
Well, I know I could do it. I basically wrote it all in my head, and now I'm putting it into text. But I wasn't sure if I should have someone who specializes in screenwriting to help as well. And also I had questions on if collaborating on the screenwriting process would be good or not?
Not a strange question at all.
It can also be filled with problems and creatively stressful. It all
depends on the personalities of the people involved.
Collaborating on the screenwriting process can be very rewarding.
It can also be filled with problems and creatively stressful. It all
depends on the personalities of the people involved.
I don't understand why should there be more than 1 writer to a script. I think that's confusing. If I would hire another writer to my film, when I've written a script, that will be a professional. And I would hire him more for fixing the script, making small changes, rather than for his innovations.
Yesterday I've joined a start-up filmmaker as a Director Assistant. The Producer, which is also the writer, allowed me to make small changes to the script is I need to. But I'm still hired as a Director Assistant.
Yesterday I've joined a start-up filmmaker as a Director Assistant. The Producer, which is also the writer, allowed me to make small changes to the script is I need to. But I'm still hired as a Director Assistant.
There are screenplay experts on action (fight scenes), experts on locations, ...tech-talk experts, military/police experts. ...Nobody knows everything.
I prefer to do it myself, but if I had a movie studio I would probably have people writing the script with expertise in whatever area the film is focused on.
-Birdman
Yes. ...And then there are the people who recollect themselves a "fight scene expert" and choreograph moves that are impossible for the human body to perform.
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EXAMPLE:
Fred knocks Robert down on his stomach. Fred stands on Robert's back. Robert back-kicks Fred in the face and gets back up.
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...Unless Fred is less than 2 feet tall that's going to be pretty hard for Robert to pull off.
-Birdman
...You have to put in elements of your fight scene. If it's in a warehouse, maybe someone picks up a shovel and whacks somebody? If it's in a hardware store, maybe the bad guy grabs a hammer? It's YOUR JOB to tell the story! Will the Director come along later and maybe change things? Yes. Does this mean you take your fight scenes and write:
Fred threatens Robert. They fight. Robert wins the fight and gets in his car and leaves.
...Probably not!
-Birdman
P.S. If you were writing the script for "Karate Kid", ...would you know how to write the fight scenes?
Well, I wrote a fight scene like this. I don't think it need more details.
Or this one:
Code:
ROSS raises his fist and SLAMS THE GROUND. The ground shakes and erupts under their feet,
covering an area of 5 meters. They lose their balance.
ROSS
Dance, bitches!
DAVID and JACOB get up and start running away, only to be staggered by another heavy
slam. They run into the nearest unfinished building. ROSS hits its wall with his fist…
THE WALL shatters. ROSS smiles and prepares another punch. DAVID activates his hilt and
gauntlet. The plasma substance quickly forms a sword and a shield.
JACOB
Wow!
ROSS attacks. David leaps aside, allowing Ross’s fist to go on forward. It hits a shaft,
blowing it up to pieces. A FEW BRICKS fall from THE CEILING. It catches David’s eye.
DAVID runs to another shaft and faces Ross. When ROSS thrusts himself forward, David
rolls aside, so his fist slams at the shaft, bringing it down entirely.
JACOB’S P.O.V. of cracks spread along the ceiling.
DAVID runs towards the next shaft, but his leg stumbles at a protruding iron stick. He
falls down. When ROSS brings his fist down for a punch, DAVID points his sword on him…
A CONE OF LIGHT emerges out of David’s sword and engulfs Ross. He staggers for a
while and prepares another punch.
ROSS’S fist hits the ground, but nothing happens. Instead, he rubs his bleeding fist and
SCREAMS OF PAIN.Or this one:
Code:
DAVID’S P.O.V. of the man torn apart by a hellish BEASTLIKE CREATURE with
red carapace skin, reptile’s snout, spiked tail and long limbs protruding from the back.
DAVID
Holy shit!…
THE CREATURE swiftly turns his head in his direction. DAVID shudders as it looks into
his eyes. THE CREATURE starts running towards him. He turns around to run…
…only to see ANOTHER CREATURE alike the first one. It attacks him. He catches its
limbs with his shield.
THE SECOND creature stretches his limbs towards David. David leaves the shield and
SLASHES one of them. ROLLS under the creature and rises behind its back.
When David is ready to slash through the carapace, the other one knocks him off his
feet. It pulls up one of his LIMBS to plunge into DAVID’S SHOULDER…
…the creature gets knocked off. A HALBERD SLASHES the other CREATURE’S HEAD
from above. It quickly burns to ashes. DAVID rises up to see his saviors.
DAVID
Hector? Diana?
THE REMAINING CREATURE stretches his LIMB to David’s face. David dodges it, and
the limb gets STUCK IN THE WALL. Immobilized, it OPENS HIS MOUTH to bite at DAVID’S
HEAD…
The sound of A SHOTGUN SHOT is heard twice. JEREMY reloads a shotgun… Two
SHOTGUN SHOTS are heard again. THE CREATURE’S HEAD gets blown off.
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Inarius,
Both of those fight scene examples are better suited for a novel - not a screenplay. The reason you are running out of space is because you're using way too many words and details.
You want to free up some space in your screenplay?
Take your entire action sequence and re-write it using 50% less words. Take what you have after that and reduce it down another 20%. Once you've accomplished that ...reduce it down 10% more and you'll end up with a workable fight scene.
Read some movie scripts with fight scenes. You'll get the picture. Although everyone seems to use this as an example to the point of being cliche, the "Jason Bourne" scripts have good examples of fight scenes.
Example:
"THE CREATURE swiftly turns his head in his direction."
...could easily be:
"THE CREATURE looks at David."
...and then:
"THE CREATURE faces David."
-Birdman
Both of those fight scene examples are better suited for a novel - not a screenplay. The reason you are running out of space is because you're using way too many words and details.
You want to free up some space in your screenplay?
Take your entire action sequence and re-write it using 50% less words. Take what you have after that and reduce it down another 20%. Once you've accomplished that ...reduce it down 10% more and you'll end up with a workable fight scene.
Read some movie scripts with fight scenes. You'll get the picture. Although everyone seems to use this as an example to the point of being cliche, the "Jason Bourne" scripts have good examples of fight scenes.
Example:
"THE CREATURE swiftly turns his head in his direction."
...could easily be:
"THE CREATURE looks at David."
...and then:
"THE CREATURE faces David."
-Birdman
Well, I can write it this way, but one question: Shouldn't the script be interesting to read? I mean, it's not a cooking receipt, like, - "Do that. Add that. Some of that. Then blend. Then eat it". Shouldn't there be some drama? After all, I want the reader/producer/director to read a story.
...I understand exactly what you're going through. I feel a lot of emotional imagery has been lost in my script as a result of maintaing the script format. It doesn't seem fair. I'd much rather describe things more ...but in the end, it's a movie script. They have an industry standard format and we have to abide by the format.
As a script writer you are not only tasked with conveying two hours of motion picture brilliance ...but you have to do it all using the fewest words possible.
Consider it a "Creative Challenge" and it's not so bad as it seems.
BTW: a creature turning his head to face your character is not really an important event. Shrink that line down and save your wild descriptions for actions that are crucial to delivering the impact that you want delivered.
I.e., THE CREATURE faces BOB. Bob lands a jaw-breaking haymaker. Creature goes down.
The "punch" is the important part of the action. Not who faces who or the fact that the creature fell down afterwards.
-Birdman
Ok. So in fight scenes I shouldn't describe too much.
What about this one:
What about this one:
Code:
JACOB and HECTOR clash in melee combat. Jacob lacks Hector professionalism, but moves
faster, performing sweeps, counterstrikes, blocks…
Jacob intersects his iron bars, unleashing a direct shock wave 5 meters forward sending
Hector flying backwards.
DIANA levitates two BIDENTS upon JACOB. He dodges them, and strikes Diana with his
weapons. They collide with Diana’s FORCE SHIELD. Jacob staggers.
DIANA immediately focuses on him, and binds him with telekinesis. JACOB becomes
immobilized and struggles to free himself. DAVID and HECTOR come from behind.
JACOB uses a shock wave to take off to five meters height. Upon landing, he unleashes
another shock wave, scattering them all. DAVID recovers first and resumes the combat.
He uses his shield to block many of Jacob’s strikes, but can’t strike a single time
himself.
Finally, he twirls and brings his glowing sword upon Jacob’s dual iron bars. A SONIC
BOOM follows the strike…
Both get pulled 5 meters backwards. JACOB is the first to recover. He glides through the
air towards HECTOR, grabs his throat and laughs seeing the latter’s TERRIFIED FACE.
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In some aspects it is like a cooking recipe. Crew and cast making the film don't need to sit through too much literary fluff to get the idea of what needs to be created.
Yeah it sucks at times but we have to balance clarity and style. When it comes to your voice as a writer a little goes a long way and if you force yourself to write more condensed you will see your own growth before long.