archived-videos Friend Zoned (dark comedy)

sfoster

sfoster

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This was my first time writing/directing.
I spent way too many months in post production :lol:

Hell it's nearly summer once more!
Enjoy :)

Edit: Updated with a scene of setup.. also took out the warm colors to have all shots match
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ml55YCXOX6c

The history behind this project:

8/1/2013: Short stories involving a pool (my quest for ideas)
http://www.indietalk.com/showthread.php?t=49542

8/28/2013: My Indietalk project (documentation of the journey)
http://www.indietalk.com/showthread.php?t=49960
 
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You've got some nice shots in there. As before, a little grading may go a long way.

When they're dancing at the start, were they dancing to no music? Especially in the shot where there's a guy with flippers on his feet, they all look out of sync.

Unfortunately, there really isn't a story in there. You don't really set up the idea that your lead guy likes the lead girl. Nor do you set up that the second guy plans on getting with her. Plus, the drugs thing just seems out of place. The ending sort-of tapers off to nothing.

For a firat short though, it's nice. It must have taken some serious organisation sort out a cast of that size.

All-in-all, good work!
 
You know, it could just be the way my phone is displaying it, but the first looks like it's straight out of camera, while the second looks desaturated.

One thing that does stand out though, now watching them back to back... did you correct each shot, then grade each shot individually? Cause, to my eyes, the shots match better in the ungraded version. The fact that the grading seems to differ between the shots, probably contributes to the feeling that it's not graded at all.
 
Well then I think your phone probably sucks for watching videos..

With all the color grading the shots can't match as well because there simply aren't the same tones present to bring out in some of the shots
 
I guess I will explain this story…

The whole beginning with the dancing is representing everyone on ecstasy. Also note the miley cyrus bear, a reference to the we can't stop song where everyone is dancing on molly. aka ecstasy, aka moon rocks.

When it transitions from the dancing to dialogue, the girl says 'it's wearing off' with a sideways shot. The guy in the friend zone can't hit on her, that is part of being in the friend zone, that the guys aren't aggressive or open about their feelings. The fact that he is going to give her some of his private drug stash is just one such clue that the audience is supposed to pick up on. And the fact that him giving her the drugs mirrors a money shot is an allegory to the friend zone.

the drugs aren't out of place at all, i don't think you really got the story unfortunately maybe it's a bit too artsy
 
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sfoster said:
Well then I think your phone probably sucks for watching videos.
Click to expand...

You may well be right!

But, despite the fact that I might not be seeing the correct colours, it still looks to me that in the corrected version the colours match pretty well, but in the graded version they seem to change shot to shot. Perhaps I'm missing something somewhere.

And you're right.... I don't get the story.
 
I'm sorry Sean, but I have to agree with mad_hatter about the story – I think I understand what you were trying to do, but the characters and the set-ups aren't developed enough. Things that you take for granted about the story won't necessarily be as obvious for your audience.

For example, at the end you have the title card about the character going to rehab (I was unsure at first which character that was, because I'm not sure how much/if we heard their names) but I don't think we'd established that he had a real drug problem, other than casual MDMA use at a party. If the drugs, and the protagonist's drug problem, are the heart of the story, then that needs to be set-up for clearly. Similarly, the friend zoning with the girl was moving towards a nice conflict between the two men, but then the film cut out during what I would consider Act Two of the story arch. It seems to me that you've put those title cards in at the end instead of a Third Act which would tie the story together.

But, other than that, the film looks good. I actually think this has a more polished visual style than Criminal Bounds. It's worth noting that colour grading is highly subjective, and just because it's happened doesn't necessarily mean its been done well or that everyone will like it. I know that IT members have recently been asking for footage to practise grading on – I wonder whether, if you gave them the raw film to grade, you'd notice any difference in the end product.
 
I did actually want to have a small bit of setup about him liking the girl, but I didn't like how it originally played out and I couldn't get the actor to do ADR so it was a wash.

And the third act was terrible so it cuts off there too, but there was never a further confrontation between the two. He doesn't have a real drug problem in the story it was just supposed to be a joke in the title card, I suppose I could eliminate the first title card but I should probably just cut my ties with this story altogether.

I have tried reaching out to two members here for color grading, it has not worked out. This was actually in the hands of one member for 2 1/2 months with me waiting around but it's no ones business what member that was.

Interesting feedback about the more polished style. Only lighting here was outdoors and almost every shot was stable on a tripod. Only real difference was that i put it through a color grade
 
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sfoster said:
Interesting feedback about the more polished style. Only lighting here was outdoors and almost every shot was stable on a tripod. Only real difference was that i put it through a color grade
Click to expand...

I think part of the reason for that is that there was more colour, and more going on in the frame on a visual perspective. I think it was partly because the landscape in Criminal Bounds was quite grey and uninteresting (obviously, that's something you can't necessarily control) that it didn't look as 'polished'.

With the opening shots of Criminal Bounds, for example, if you had the sun setting through the trees, then you'd immediately have had a much more visually appealing. Of course, when you're shooting outdoors, your hands are tied to some extent and I acknowledge that, on both of these shorts, it appears to be pretty cloudy, which can be frustrating.

Shooting outdoors is an interesting paradox because, on paper, you have less control over the light and therefore ought not to be able to sculpt the 'look' of your film as accurately. But, with my feature film, I found that we shot almost every scene with a controlled lighting set-up (as these were predominantly interiors or night time shots) and then the climax of the film happens outside, on a road, at sunset and suddenly WOW the film feels so much more dynamic. Natural light is a beautiful thing when it works for you.
 
I did put a ton of work into the set design of friend zoned, so good point there. All that color appearing in the frame isn't by accident.

I'm working on doing a little color grade now for Criminal Bounds, but having it a little bland is partly what I was going for at the start. I was intent on having Criminal Bounds filmed before spring with all the leaves and flowers since I thought that wouldn't fit the mood at all
 
I, too, was a bit confused by the plot of this short film, and I'm not entirely sure that it works as a dark comedy. Sexy ladies hanging out by a pool ifs nice, but it lacks substance. More character development would help, also more dialogue to let the viewers in on your vision, too.
 
I could add a short segment right after the beer spill


:looking at hot asian:

Supporting Guy : did you hit that yet
Main guy: nah she's been dating this douchebag but he's out of the picture now

would it help that much ?
 
sfoster said:
I could add a short segment right after the beer spill


:looking at hot asian:

Supporting Guy : did you hit that yet
Main guy: nah she's been dating this douchebag but he's out of the picture now

would it help that much ?
Click to expand...


Okay I updated the first post to add this scene.
Now you guys all have your setup :weird:

And I can finally delete all these files that have clogging up my hard drive
 
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