plot Focusing on a single project for this year...opinion on premise wanted.

[stevencwood]

I'm typically scatter-brained, and that's a fault. But this time around, I'm focusing on a project I've previously started, and researched, but now I'm actively "trying" to write it. This is a dark thriller, with sensitive subject matter. Think of 8mm or Seven. I'll be brief, but will provide detailed info if desired.

Retired detective lost his 15 year old daughter via kidnapping a few years prior to the beginning of the story. The investigation into her disappearance turned up nothing, so he takes drastic measures to find out what happened. With his experience as a detective, he figures his best chance to get information is to dive into the dark web and pose as someone looking for women of a specific age range. In doing this, he's led to a small town in Kansas, where he meets some rather unsavory characters. This town serves as a "hub" for transporting people. Within this town there is a small air-strip/hangar, where routinely, a plane lands and delivers a person to an awaiting car. Money is left to the responsible party over the air-strip - the local Sheriff. He knows what's happening, but takes payment in exchange for silence.

As a way to deliver the story, I'm thinking of making the reader assume one thing, but deliver something unexpected. What I mean by that is I will show an 18-19 year old female going through the trafficking process. There will be Plot A with the detective doing his thing, intertwined with Plot B involving this girl, living through her situation. The reader will suspect that this is the detective's daughter, in the present, and they will be reunited...but that won't be the case. This girl will be delivered to him by the people who use the air-strip. The detective will try to use her to get information, which eventually leads him to the local people that town Sheriff reports to (the people running this particular trafficking hub).

In the end, he is able to save the girl and takes her in, realizing that he will probably never find his daughter as this is just one hub, and there's many just like it within the country.

 

[ShortFilmSensei]

One of my main problems is I tend to get to the story too quickly. So I'm going to work on an intro taking place at an award ceremony for the department. The detective, partner and wives will be there. People get drunk, the detective and wife go home and maybe leave the front door open accidentally. They wake up the following morning to their daughter gone. The investigation starts, dude is put on leave, etc.

EDIT: Later in the story, when the realization a fellow cop was responsible for the kidnapping, I'll show that the ceremony in the beginning was directly related to him turning in dirty cops. So that way, the kidnapping is justified within the story.

Worth nothing that I went through the hiring process for Sheriff Deputy in my county a while back, and have police in my family.

Is this going to be feature length or short film?

If short, I wouldn't start with the award ceremony. I would go right into the end of the tale where he is close to finding his daughter and instead finds another girl.

The twist could be that its not his daughter, but it looks like her. He thinks it is her, until at the end the blood tests come back from the hospital and they tell him he is not the father. He has been searching for over 10 years. (That already tells you plenty about what type of person he is).

Then, in an act of love and acceptance, they are preparing to send her into a foster home, and he tells her he is going to adopt her??? Or something like that.