As for mentioning camera placement, I'll be directing this project (if it's greenlit that is) and so I find it useful. And to be frank, I actually prefer screenplays with specific camera placement details. I know it's generally taught as a 'no no' but for me, it paints a clearer picture in my head of what the film is supposed to be. People will say, 'focus on the story', but because film is a visual medium I don't personally see an issue with it. Just a matter of taste though I guess.
Let me play Devil's Advocate;
Based on my experience getting a script green-lit involves several
levels of people reading the script. Even if you are attached as
director many people will read the script as it moves through the
process. In most cases I think it's better to allow your story to stand
out over your directorial preferences.
You are correct; film is a visual medium. The screenplay, however,
is very different than the finished product even as it, too, conveys
the visual. There are so many ways for a writer to make a screenplay
visual without using camera terms. That's why I always suggest a
writer try at least one draft using their power of words to set a visual
style rather than camera terms. For the most part you do it and do it
well.
Think about it. I think your screenplay will be more powerful and more
visual without using uppercase and camera terms. Get the “powers-that-be”
excited about your characters and story. Then dazzle them with where
you as the director are going to place a close up once they are hooked.