feedback on my script so far?

[laurenvictoria]

its for my film portfolio for film school . it has to be fairly short, only about 10 mins

its about this utopian place where people go when they're having problems and stuff and this one girl goes there because she is stressed and thinks her life is horrible but after hearing why the other people are there she realizes her life isn't so bad

http://www.scribd.com/doc/61881673?secret_password=2dkhjoa2h9ufy24kf9ck

i still haven't finished the ending. but basically chloe tells alice why the other people are there and then finally why she is there (havent decided that yet)


all feed back is helpful

 

[directorik]

I actually do have a very good actress for the part, she is a classmate of mine in my acting class.

I have a little challenge for you.

Grab your camera and the actress and shoot a quick scenes. No
lighting, no dialogue, no sound even. Show us that she “is shocked
that Alice considers her life horrible because of some homework”.

When we (the viewer of the scene) see it we need to understand
that the actress is shocked because Alice (or anyone) considers
her life horrible because of some homework.

How will you shoot that? How will you direct your very good
actress to show us that?