I'm posting the opening couple of scenes from my Horror screenplay about a detective trying to uncover the abundance of murders in small town Hughesville,MD.
I know the format is out of wack but i was having problems copying and pasting my script on here. So just give me your opinions and feedback of the script, not the format as it'll be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time
FADE IN:
EXT. OUTSIDE THE BLACKWOOD HOUSE - NIGHT
Hughesville, Maryland
It's a rainy night in the small town of Hughesville. A man
is in his backyard, digging a hole with a shovel. You can't
see his face, just the back of his body moving at a fast
speed, impervious to the fact that he's working in the
middle of a thunderstorm. After a few minutes of digging he
stops, staring at the final product he's been seemingly
working on for hours
INT. BLACKWOOD HOUSE - NIGHT
JOHN BLACKWOOD is a handsome middle-aged man. He is seen
sitting down on the edge of his bed in deep thought. After a
moment, he gets up, heads to the bathroom, and looks at
himself in the mirror
MARY (V.O)
(from the kitchen)
John, Honey, we're waiting on you
JOHN
I'll be right there
John wipes his face with water, to wash the dirt he smudged
on his face from the digging he did earlier
EXT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT
Mary, and a guest are sitting at the dining table waiting
for John to arrive JOHN ENTERS ROOM
JOHN
Sorry, for the wait. I had prior
business to take care of
John sits next to his guest as he shakes his hand. Mary gets
up and heads out of the dining room
JOHN
John Blackwood
CHARLES
(smiles)
Charles Maxwell
JOHN
Pleasure to meet you, now my wife
tells me you wanted to ask me a
few questions
CHARLES
Yes, I do. If that's not a bother?
JOHN
Of course. Ask whatever you'd
like
Charles stops himself and pulls out a cigarette and a
lighter
CHARLES
Is it too much trouble if I....
JOHN
(cutting Charles OFF)
No, not at all. Make yourself
comfortable
Charles lights his cigarette and starts smoking
CHARLES
Do you have a family John?
JOHN
Yes I do. You've seen my wife
CHARLES
But do you have children?
JOHN
Yes, I have a son and a daughter.
And yourself?
CHARLES
I have a wife. And a son. He's my life
I would do anything for him
JOHN
Of course
CHARLES
Well good. Now you can sympathize
with me. You see, My son, my only child. His name is Mark. I have
spoken with my son everyday since the day he was born. Last week, I
remember a conversation I had with him. During the last conversation with
my son, he told me he was coming to Paradise for business. He obviously would be staying at an
Inn. It just so happens that you own the only hotel, motel, inn, whatever this is, in Hughesville.
That was the last time i've spoke with my son. So there lies the connection. Our unfortunate
incident
JOHN
Yes, it is unfortunate
CHARLES
Is there anything you can tell me
that would help me find my son?
JOHN
You know how many guests check in our Inn a day?
Hundreds. I don't know if it's the weather, or the
name of this town, but people seem to like visiting here. Lawyers,
Doctors, husbands, wives, businessmen. All types of customers.
So i apologize if I don't remember your son. If I had anything
productive to tell you about your son, I would have
already told it to the police when they paid me a visit
yesterday afternoon. You know better than to go around
town playing detective, asking questions when you're not ready
to hear the answers.
Charles puts out his cigar
CHARLES
It's not about hearing answers I
don't want to hear, it's about
finding the truth. The police
don't give a damn whether my son
is found alive, or found face down
in a puddle of his own blood.
If you know anymore than what you're letting
on, just tell me
JOHN
Why don't you ask me what you
really want to know? Did I kill
your son?
CHARLES stares petrified, waiting for the answer
JOHN
You see, I'm not only a lodging
owner of an Inn. More importantly than that, Im the town garbage
man. I throw away the waste of human existence that pollutes this
town
CHARLIE
What did you do with my son!?
JOHN
The same thing we're about to do
to you
Joseph Blackwood, son of John, a young man, in his twenties,
comes from the shadows behind Charles, and SLICES his
throat. Charles, still alive but struggling for air. John
gets up from his chair and stands above Charles
JOHN
Give me the sledgehammer
Joseph gives JOHN the sledgehammer
CLOSE UP of John's face as he beats CHARLES. 3 loud thumps
later, JOHN finally stops beating him. He hears no more
gagging and no more struggle. His face, stained withMr.Maxwell's blood. His obstacle is complete
I know the format is out of wack but i was having problems copying and pasting my script on here. So just give me your opinions and feedback of the script, not the format as it'll be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time
FADE IN:
EXT. OUTSIDE THE BLACKWOOD HOUSE - NIGHT
Hughesville, Maryland
It's a rainy night in the small town of Hughesville. A man
is in his backyard, digging a hole with a shovel. You can't
see his face, just the back of his body moving at a fast
speed, impervious to the fact that he's working in the
middle of a thunderstorm. After a few minutes of digging he
stops, staring at the final product he's been seemingly
working on for hours
INT. BLACKWOOD HOUSE - NIGHT
JOHN BLACKWOOD is a handsome middle-aged man. He is seen
sitting down on the edge of his bed in deep thought. After a
moment, he gets up, heads to the bathroom, and looks at
himself in the mirror
MARY (V.O)
(from the kitchen)
John, Honey, we're waiting on you
JOHN
I'll be right there
John wipes his face with water, to wash the dirt he smudged
on his face from the digging he did earlier
EXT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT
Mary, and a guest are sitting at the dining table waiting
for John to arrive JOHN ENTERS ROOM
JOHN
Sorry, for the wait. I had prior
business to take care of
John sits next to his guest as he shakes his hand. Mary gets
up and heads out of the dining room
JOHN
John Blackwood
CHARLES
(smiles)
Charles Maxwell
JOHN
Pleasure to meet you, now my wife
tells me you wanted to ask me a
few questions
CHARLES
Yes, I do. If that's not a bother?
JOHN
Of course. Ask whatever you'd
like
Charles stops himself and pulls out a cigarette and a
lighter
CHARLES
Is it too much trouble if I....
JOHN
(cutting Charles OFF)
No, not at all. Make yourself
comfortable
Charles lights his cigarette and starts smoking
CHARLES
Do you have a family John?
JOHN
Yes I do. You've seen my wife
CHARLES
But do you have children?
JOHN
Yes, I have a son and a daughter.
And yourself?
CHARLES
I have a wife. And a son. He's my life
I would do anything for him
JOHN
Of course
CHARLES
Well good. Now you can sympathize
with me. You see, My son, my only child. His name is Mark. I have
spoken with my son everyday since the day he was born. Last week, I
remember a conversation I had with him. During the last conversation with
my son, he told me he was coming to Paradise for business. He obviously would be staying at an
Inn. It just so happens that you own the only hotel, motel, inn, whatever this is, in Hughesville.
That was the last time i've spoke with my son. So there lies the connection. Our unfortunate
incident
JOHN
Yes, it is unfortunate
CHARLES
Is there anything you can tell me
that would help me find my son?
JOHN
You know how many guests check in our Inn a day?
Hundreds. I don't know if it's the weather, or the
name of this town, but people seem to like visiting here. Lawyers,
Doctors, husbands, wives, businessmen. All types of customers.
So i apologize if I don't remember your son. If I had anything
productive to tell you about your son, I would have
already told it to the police when they paid me a visit
yesterday afternoon. You know better than to go around
town playing detective, asking questions when you're not ready
to hear the answers.
Charles puts out his cigar
CHARLES
It's not about hearing answers I
don't want to hear, it's about
finding the truth. The police
don't give a damn whether my son
is found alive, or found face down
in a puddle of his own blood.
If you know anymore than what you're letting
on, just tell me
JOHN
Why don't you ask me what you
really want to know? Did I kill
your son?
CHARLES stares petrified, waiting for the answer
JOHN
You see, I'm not only a lodging
owner of an Inn. More importantly than that, Im the town garbage
man. I throw away the waste of human existence that pollutes this
town
CHARLIE
What did you do with my son!?
JOHN
The same thing we're about to do
to you
Joseph Blackwood, son of John, a young man, in his twenties,
comes from the shadows behind Charles, and SLICES his
throat. Charles, still alive but struggling for air. John
gets up from his chair and stands above Charles
JOHN
Give me the sledgehammer
Joseph gives JOHN the sledgehammer
CLOSE UP of John's face as he beats CHARLES. 3 loud thumps
later, JOHN finally stops beating him. He hears no more
gagging and no more struggle. His face, stained withMr.Maxwell's blood. His obstacle is complete
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