Ethical problem with parents

I

IT_Throwaway

Not sure if correct sub-forum. Have to make a throwaway for this sorry.

I've run into an ethical problem considering my parents. Despite living away from them a significant amount of my living expenses are covered by them. Movie making is what I want to do and being a student means I can barely afford anything. Not to mention making my movies. The movies I wish to make disagree with my mothers general ethical believes. This is not a she is super religious and I'm making a non religious film situation. This is a my mother hates guns/any form of violence or suffering/sexual references of any kind/no swearing at any level kind of thing. Once I tried to watch the dark knight and she was nearby. Worst experience of my life. On a semi unrelated note, I once went clubbing (ONCE. A single time) and she was sending me texts half an hour later saying I had experienced enough and needed to come home and that '***** it doesn't have to come to this'. The text reminded me of someone trying to convince their son not to commit suicide. While my father knows my mother is overracting he never/rarely intervenes. I've been considering making this post for a while, things this last week just escaltuated to an annoying mad level. Pretty much if I make a movie which goes against my mothers believes ill not have support from the rest of my family and will be shunned. Suggestions on what to do? (Making movies without any of this content is out of question. I've made plenty and I need to move forward. For the record I do not aspire to make films like Rambo, Pulp fiction, die hard, paranormal activity, etc)

*For the purposes of this thread some specifics are slightly fictious in order to maintain anonimity. I know you all lol :blush:
 
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IT_Throwaway said:
Not sure if correct sub-forum. Have to make a throwaway for this sorry.

I've run into an ethical problem considering my parents. Despite living away from them a significant amount of my living expenses are covered by them. Movie making is what I want to do and being a student means I can barely afford anything. Not to mention making my movies. The movies I wish to make disagree with my mothers general ethical believes. This is not a she is super religious and I'm making a non religious film situation. This is a my mother hates guns/any form of violence or suffering/sexual references of any kind/no swearing at any level kind of thing. Once I tried to watch the dark knight and she was nearby. Worst experience of my life. On a semi unrelated note, I once went clubbing (ONCE. A single time) and she was sending me texts half an hour later saying I had experienced enough and needed to come home and that '***** it doesn't have to come to this'. The text reminded me of someone trying to convince their son not to commit suicide. While my father knows my mother is overracting he never/rarely intervenes. I've been considering making this post for a while, things this last week just escaltuated to a piss mad level. She also thinks i am very selfish. bitch should look at herself. Pretty much if I make a movie which goes against my mothers believes ill not have support from the rest of my family and will be shunned and shit. Suggestions on what to do? (Making movies without any of this content is out of question. I've made plenty and I need to move forward. For the record I do not aspire to make films like Rambo, Pulp fiction, die hard, paranormal activity, etc)

*For the purposes of this thread some specifics are slightly fictious in order to maintain anonimity. I know you all lol :blush:
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You are as closed minded as your mother. Making movies that do not
contain gun or violence is not “out of the question” - that is you being
stubborn. She is right - you are being very selfish. And as you point out;
she should know.

You cannot change your mother or your family - you can only change
you. If you don’t want to be “shunned and shit” and since you need the
support of your family then your choice is clear. Continue making movies
that will not cause you to lose support and be shunned and shit. Then
when you can afford to move out and support yourself you can make the
movies you want to make.

The harsh reality of the business of movie making is you will always face
people who will dictate content to you - always. The producers, the studios,
the actors, your agent, distributors - will all be telling you what to make
and how to make it. You will never have full, total control of your movies.
It’s time for you to move forward - you know your restrictions as long as
you are with your current “studio” and need them for support, so make the
movies they are proud of as you move forward. For now your “producer”
does not want to see you make movies with guns or any form of violence
so you need to work within those guidelines. Or leave the “studio” and that
“producer”.
 
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I don't know how old you are, but I'd say take the next step in life and start supporting yourself financially and stop relying on family. Even if you are a student, you can get part time work.

It's sad that your mom and you have such different views, but as a filmmaker you'll never be satisfied until you can make the types of films you want to make.

Doing so will probably distance yourself from your family a bit, but that's a normal part of life. People like to put a lot of emphasis on family values and staying close to family, but if it's not a loving supportive type of family, there's no reason to stick around. My guess though is, in the end, she'll most likely love you no matter what you do.
 
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Movie making is what I want to do and being a student means I can barely afford anything. Not to mention making my movies.
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Making indie films = poverty. If she's supporting you then I guess you're always gonna have her in your ear if you tell her about what you're doing. Spielberg always said to never spend your own money on making a movie. I think he probably also meant don't spend your parent's money either.
 
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Sorry, you lost me with "b###h should look at herself".

You want some advice from someone with years of experience in the film industry? Here's mine: Don't air your dirty laundry in public. Delete that line about your mother. This is the internet, not the lunchroom. You have some growing up to do.

Thomas
 
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I think some people have to realize that it's okay, perhaps even morally responsible to show violence and sex, as long as it's in good context.

Everyone has different opinions on what's morally appropriate to be shown on screen as entertainment.

So it's perfectly okay to make a movie with sex and violence in, as long as it's in moral good taste. And I think maybe you should have a sit down with your mom and try to get her to see that. It seems from your OP, that she dismisses sex and violence in any form, no matter what the context that it is shown in. Of course this will only work with your mom, if you are making movies that show it in good context, as oppose to bad.
 
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Your obligated to the producer. If you cant convince them to support you making the movies you want to make, then pay your own way.

If you are a legal adult, they have no obligation to pay your way. They are doing it now because they love you and want to give you every chance at success. Making movies, violent or otherwise is not a path to the kind of success most parents want for their children. If you can show them how working in film can lead to your eventual success they would recognize as such, then its a mater of showing that to be competitive in your field you have to make movies they might not like, and that its OK If they don't like them, if you were goign to be a heart surgeon you wouldn't expect your mom to enjoy watching you dig into a fat old mans chest cavity!
 
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