archived-videos Drug Runner (5 min short)

K

kayzee

Hey Guys,

Here's a short I've been working on recently and its finally done and dusted with post production. Would really appreciate your opinions on it and any improvements.
i've already entered it in to the Paddon festival here in the UK and I'm setting up a withoutabox page for it, any other festivals or things that you guys recommend applying to?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSebf_2EiG0

Enjoy!
 
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kayzee said:
Here's a short I've been working on recently and its finally done and dusted with post production.
Would really appreciate your opinions on it and any improvements.
Click to expand...
If it's done then there's little need for suggestions of improvements.
And it's not likely you're going to go back and reshoot any of the scenes or shots, so...
It's done.
Furthermore, it looks like you've already submitted it to one festival before posting it on the internet, so that means you're triple-done with it.

i've already entered it in to the Paddon festival here in the UK and I'm setting up a withoutabox page for it, any other festivals or things that you guys recommend applying to?
Click to expand...
I suggest you remove it from general internet viewing and make it password protected before submitting to all the UK short film festivals that you can google all by yourself.

Technically, I don't understand whatsup with the frequent double images.
Thematically, the story's pretty vague.
A young man self-navels over pictures of a mother and child.
He's then at a cemetery with a white rose - that I believe he takes with him - he contemplates his bag of coke/heroin.
For no clear reason he misses a drug deal.
Chase, chase, chase.
Run, run, run.
Hop a fence, fade to black, get a cap busted in his @ss.
He's dead.
Someone removes the mother and child picture from his pocket.
Cut to the same young man, well dressed, being chauffeured about in a nice car mumbling something about "Done with all of this."
So... his evil twin shot and killed his sorta-good twin.​
Close enuff?

Meh...
 
I don't think the last poster understood the plot.

From what I understood he decided to change his ways. The drug deal was missed as he threw the drugs away, he was then chased for this, and was saved by someone else. The guy who was shot was the one who was chasing him. So he was saved, and offered a salvation. I really enjoyed it.

I thought that the chase scene was really well filmed, so well done for that. There was some really nice camera work throughout the film, I thought it captured the tone beautifully.

Well done mate, keep up the good work.
 
just a quick continuity thing - on 3.46 when he jumps from the roof we see the main guy on the right side of the screen,his enemy is on the left. When you go in the cu however,main guy is looking to the right of the screen.
 
rayw said:
If it's done then there's little need for suggestions of improvements.
And it's not likely you're going to go back and reshoot any of the scenes or shots, so...
It's done.
Furthermore, it looks like you've already submitted it to one festival before posting it on the internet, so that means you're triple-done with it.


I suggest you remove it from general internet viewing and make it password protected before submitting to all the UK short film festivals that you can google all by yourself.

Technically, I don't understand whatsup with the frequent double images.
Thematically, the story's pretty vague.
A young man self-navels over pictures of a mother and child.
He's then at a cemetery with a white rose - that I believe he takes with him - he contemplates his bag of coke/heroin.
For no clear reason he misses a drug deal.
Chase, chase, chase.
Run, run, run.
Hop a fence, fade to black, get a cap busted in his @ss.
He's dead.
Someone removes the mother and child picture from his pocket.
Cut to the same young man, well dressed, being chauffeured about in a nice car mumbling something about "Done with all of this."
So... his evil twin shot and killed his sorta-good twin.​
Close enuff?

Meh...
Click to expand...

Ermm I think you slightly misinterpretted the film. Could I have what you're smoking?
Just because I wont be re-shooting/editing doesn't mean the critique isn't important. Its important to find out what works and what one can improve next time. Day_Thomas, spot on with the observations. Cheers, will continue to shoot more. Watch this space. Thanks again.
 
I too assumed the main character was killed,

In thinking about it here are some of my thoughts..

we assume the lead character is a loner, you never introduced another good guy character before the cap bustin scene.

cultural movie norm is that bad drug guys are in gangs, so its natural to assume the bad guy has a helper.

If you had introduced the other good guy prior then I might not have assumed that..


Hope this is helpful.
 
wheatgrinder said:
I too assumed the main character was killed,

In thinking about it here are some of my thoughts..

we assume the lead character is a loner, you never introduced another good guy character before the cap bustin scene.

cultural movie norm is that bad drug guys are in gangs, so its natural to assume the bad guy has a helper.

If you had introduced the other good guy prior then I might not have assumed that..


Hope this is helpful.
Click to expand...

Thanks, I can see where you're coming from, when I first showed my original cut to friends that was one of the main points that came up. This was without the shot of the 'gang member' who chased our protagonist lying dead on a roof. although a short clip, I hoped that would dispell any confusion. This piece is more a snap shot 5 min view in to feature film which I am going to try and get funding for, hence not simply a short film built and completed in 5 minutes but rather as the viewer you come in half way through and the ambiguity at the end suggest the story has further turns ahead....
 
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