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Does this edit make sense to you?

H

harmonica44

I am having trouble making my day for night shots, match the night shots, I got for my short film. I have done the final edit, accept for this part where I am trying to cut out the day for night shots, and still have it make sense. Here's the edit with the night shots in only. Does the plot make sense, do you understand it? Or do I have to find another way to make the day for night shots match? Thanks.

http://youtu.be/mAkocsrTScI
 
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It makes sense if the guys are about to commit a crime and after getting out of the car, end up at the house of the woman on the phone. That's what I got out of it.

Don't know if you realize it or not, but you need to fix the audio badly, and I would tighten up your edit. You hold shots way too long in some cases...
 
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Sure, that's the new edit with the day for night shots cut out. I can't cut down much on the woman cause I got nothing now, to cut to in between, and if I cut down on her shots, there are continuity flaws in her position, especially her arm.

There is more to understand, than just them breaking in though. They break into her backyard and cut the phone lines. If you do not catch it, then perhaps I have to figure out a way to fix the day for night shots...
 
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If you want to show the line being cut, simply set up a shot indoors (so you can control the amount of light) of a close up of a gloved hand cutting it.

In fact, I would shoot that and insert it between your two angles of the woman on the phone.

Also, my comment about audio was because you have no ambient sound, and that makes it obvious that your dialogue was recorded at different times. You have to have ambient sound to help mask that.
 
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Okay thanks. The dialogue in the car was actually recorded in the car, and the dialogue recorded in the bedroom was actually recorded there as well. So it's weird that there is no ambient sound. Maybe once I lay down the room tone, in the final edit, that will make it sound more ambient? I'll find an audio engineer to help with that. I thought about just adding a seperate shot if them cutting the phone lines, but wouldn't that look like a continuity flaw, since it did not show them break into the back yard at all and all of a sudden they are there? I have a shot that was shot at night, of the one guys, wearing that same jacket, cutting the line. Every other shot of them breaking in is day for night though. But I do have night shots of the line being cut, but then all of a sudden they go from getting out of the car, cut to the woman, then cut to them cutting the lines all of a sudden. That seems like it could be worse, continuity wise, rather than just implying it.
 
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Well I tried it that way, and it just looks wonky, seeing them in once place, then all of a sudden another, rather than just implying that the line was cut. But people may not get that the line was cut, her trying to call 911 later, may not register therefore. I could try again to find someone to make the day for night shots match (shrug).
 
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Viewers are not idiots. If you see someone pacing in a room, cut to something else, cut back and they're sitting down, they assume that the character has stopped pacing. It's an edit, not a continuity flaw. If the charcter's shirt is a different color, or they're sitting in a different room, then, yeah, there's a problem.

If you show someone getting out of a car, then a line being cut, then the characters inside the house, the viewer will connect those scenes together. That's what the language of film is all about.
 
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harmonica44 said:
Okay thanks. The dialogue in the car was actually recorded in the car, and the dialogue recorded in the bedroom was actually recorded there as well. So it's weird that there is no ambient sound. Maybe once I lay down the room tone, in the final edit, that will make it sound more ambient? I'll find an audio engineer to help with that. I thought about just adding a seperate shot if them cutting the phone lines, but wouldn't that look like a continuity flaw, since it did not show them break into the back yard at all and all of a sudden they are there? I have a shot that was shot at night, of the one guys, wearing that same jacket, cutting the line. Every other shot of them breaking in is day for night though. But I do have night shots of the line being cut, but then all of a sudden they go from getting out of the car, cut to the woman, then cut to them cutting the lines all of a sudden. That seems like it could be worse, continuity wise, rather than just implying it.
Click to expand...

It's called parallel action and filmmakers have been using it since Birth of a Nation.
 
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