Do Directors need to be tough?

I am taking on my first feature as a Producer, Director, VFX Supervisor, etc. and I've ran into a few issues.

I was explaining a certain shot to an actress and she said I shouldn't do a shot the way I described. I told her it would be fine because I would make a lot of the cuts in editing. She said she's never worked in a project that made a shot like that and that it doesn't sound very smart. I didn't really think about what she said too much as I just thought she didn't know what she was talking about because she can't visualize the scene like I can.

However, I mentioned this to my executive producer and it upset him a lot more than me (strongly implied that maybe it's best to replace her), and it got me thinking: Do I give a vibe that someone feels like they can say something insulting like that to me even though I'm the director?

I was wondering if anyone else has gone through this kind of behavior? Also wondering if anyone has advice on how to deal with this? I'm a nice guy and try to be laid back with everyone. I want everyone to have fun on this project and leave all the stress for me to deal with. Is this the wrong approach? Am I supposed to be more tough and assertive as a director? Any help is appreciated.
 
There is no yes-or-no-answer to this question.

Did she explain why she didn't like the idea?
It could just be that it made her feel insecure because it was different. Is it a very long take?

Not sharing your vision is not the same as insulting :P

Is this the first time you direct anything?
 
Just be polite and say something like "There's a method to my madness" smile and walk away. Or "It's part of a larger vision" and move on. That's all you have to say to the actress. You DO NOT need to convince her or reason with her if this is questioning your creative process, but if it is of concern to her safety or security, address it. With the DP you should have a deeper convo if queried with a creative concern as that is a symbiotic relationship. If she still bugs you, you need to then be firm and tell her to stop.
 
I was wondering if anyone else has gone through this kind of behavior?

Yep.

Also wondering if anyone has advice on how to deal with this?

It's situational. In other words it depends. Once I fired the person on the spot and there were others where we amicably worked through the issues where both parties were happy.

Is this the wrong approach?

It might be. It might not be.

Am I supposed to be more tough and assertive as a director?

Yes and no. Every set is run differently. It also sounds like your goals are likely to be different to other directors, so your requirements will be different. You should run your set the way that makes sense to you and gets you the results you need.
 
There is no yes-or-no-answer to this question.

Did she explain why she didn't like the idea?
It could just be that it made her feel insecure because it was different. Is it a very long take?

Not sharing your vision is not the same as insulting :P

Is this the first time you direct anything?

She simply said she's never worked in a project that did that and that it doesn't sound very smart. To be honest there are better ways she could have said her opinion. Saying it like that was not alright.

I told her to say a lot of her lines all at once without stopping the recording and that I would make the cuts to the two characters talking in editing as this was a faster and smoother workflow for me.

I've directed friends in short films. For a feature length it is my first time directing.
 
To be honest there are better ways she could have said her opinion. Saying it like that was not alright.
Tell her that.
Maybe she needs to be assured you know what you're doing so she can trust you. Maybe you can show her something similar you did before. Or show her a quick rough edit of the sequence you're doing with her.

Also tell her you're open to suggestions but you have the final say & she has to trust your judgement if she wants to continue. You don't have time to explain everything you're going to do if she disagrees with something.
Be nice but matter of fact.
 
There's no need to show her an edit or tell her you are open to suggestions. Pandora's box.
 
I've never heard of a director telling actors they are open to suggestions for directing. Ever. Sorry, but that is really bad advice in this situation.
 
Did you read the issue he is having?

I told her to say a lot of her lines all at once without stopping the recording and that I would make the cuts to the two characters talking in editing as this was a faster and smoother workflow for me.
 
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