archived-videos DISORDER

[j0shgreene]

My final statement as a high school filmmaker. Ready for USC and Los Angeles in the Fall.

Winner of BEST DIRECTOR and BEST PICTURE at the 1st inaugural Triton Film Festival

https://youtu.be/W8ESAilZkC8

 

[j0shgreene]

First off great job. I think the cinematography is very good, and the editing is great.
I do agree that the music was a bit distracting. For all of the scenes up until his skateboard ride I felt that the music detracted rather than helped. For me, one of the strongest moments was where the music dropped out and you had that beeping sound like a monitor in a hospital room or something. I would remove all of the music up until that skateboard ride and fill it with sounds from the world. Put in the sound of traffic, cars driving by, trucks off in the distance, horns honking far away, dogs barking in the distance, birds singing, etc. Because of the nature of the subject matter you could also play around with the audio quite a bit to enhance the feel, meaning, put some weird sounds in there that don't exactly fit, a plane flying too low, people talking who aren't nearby, whatever. Put weird reverbs on them, and have them fade from one into another. Since a lot of this would be all in his head, you can use it to your advantage. You did that with the editing and the cinematography to great effect, but I think you could do that with the sound to great effect too.
Overall great job. Very impressive.

Thank you.

I'm very pleased to hear that you picked up the hospital beeping and the bizarre work with sound design with all the weird sounds. This was a huge learning improvement for my sound design abilities. I agree I could potentially add more of a soundscape and remove the music.

However, each song does correlate to each particular scene, including and especially the lyrics. Now, you're probably thinking I must be asking a lot for a viewer to listen to the dialogue, watch the visuals, hear the music/sound design AND listen to lyrics all at the same time hoping to process it.

My fear is that there was too much to focus on and thus made the overall interpretation unclear. Perhaps though, it played into the surrealist/dream like effect of being left feeling positive about the film, but a little blurry/intrigued.

I hoped that this curiosity would encourage viewers to watch the film a 2nd or 3rd time. I've noticed that after 1-2 more times, peers that I've shown have come to like it more than the initial viewing. Again, I may be asking too much of a viewer to re-watch my film in order to gain a better appreciation or understanding. But there are movies that have been made (2001, Taxi Driver) that thrive upon additional viewings for most viewers. And those are feature lengths. I pretty much re-watch any short film I thought was pretty good. The medium is so short that you can make a dense work and hope for replays.

So I don't know how many times you watched mine (and this goes to anyone), maybe you've re-watched it already I don't know. Maybe i'm wrong for asking. But I think if you gave it another viewing, you could come to liking it more. Just because I think that's the reason it's falling short for some viewers.

Maybe Joy Division just rubs people the wrong way too. They’re not for everyone. Definitely not “soulful” or “cinematic” music at its core.

Again though, I'm very grateful for all of the feedback and I'm glad you were pleased with the film.

 

[indietalk]

However, each song does correlate to each particular scene, including and especially the lyrics. Now, you're probably thinking I must be asking a lot for a viewer to listen to the dialogue, watch the visuals, hear the music/sound design AND listen to lyrics all at the same time hoping to process it.

I did notice this actually and thought it made it too literal and music video-like. Especially when the lyric Disorder hit. Since that's a Joy Division song, once again, it took me out of it, sorry. If I made a film called Jeremy and Pearl Jam played, that's the feeling I got... kinda cheesy in a way.

 

[indietalk]

I do like your style but you are your own artist and you don't need popular bands and lyric tie-ins, because you're already a good filmmaker. Tell your story.