plot Creating A Plot Around This Premise

[Semiazas]

I need some help coming up with a plot to go around premise that interests me for a very dark and bleak rommance I'd like to try making into a short (I'm aware that every idea I've had I've decided will be a short thus far, I figure I should do a handful of shorts before any features, it worked for Lynch & Polanski )

The premise is that a manic depressive pianist begins to become obssessed with a singer he performs with. I'm not sure what kind of plot to work around it but the premise really interests me.
Anyone help would be appreciated.
Cheers (:

 

[Adeimantus]

I need some help coming up with a plot to go around premise that interests me for a very dark and bleak rommance I'd like to try making into a short (I'm aware that every idea I've had I've decided will be a short thus far, I figure I should do a handful of shorts before any features, it worked for Lynch & Polanski )

The premise is that a manic depressive pianist begins to become obssessed with a singer he performs with. I'm not sure what kind of plot to work around it but the premise really interests me.
Anyone help would be appreciated.
Cheers (:

You could go the John Fowles "Magus" route and have him kidnap her and lock her in a room; have him force her to sing for him every day (bird in a cage?)

Finally, she stops singing for him no matter how he pleads or threatens. Final scene: a tracking shot as we hear her singing, through his house and into her cell/room only to discover it's a recording he's made and he's stuffed her body and mounted hher on a makeshift perch. Is that dark enough? You'd have to flesh out his motivation, but it might be fun.

-Charles

 

[barnaclelapse]

If it were me I'd probably do something that focuses on the guy in his dismal apartment writing a song for the girl to sing. He would narrate his thoughts about her as he works, memories of meeting and interacting with her and so forth. I would have his memories of her be along the lines of hopeful, little flashes of possibility that she's interested in him, too. Then he finishes the song, brings it to the club where they work and we discover then that she barely knows he exists.

Something like that.

 

[Semiazas]

I love both of those ideas, I'd quite like to work them into one plot.
Like, he forces her to sing other songs after taking her as a hostage and also tries in vain to write his own song for her to sing, when she refuses, he snaps and kills her, the last shot would be him playing the song he wrote on piano with her body somewhere in the room near him.

Or something like that, I'm not entierley sure.

 

[Justice]

Perhaps she has a regular piano player accompany her, maybe it's her boyfriend, or just a good friend. He could be kidnapped instead or as I'd write it, kidnapped as well

 

[Flicker Pictures]

Some good ideas here.

Having a well-defined lead (the pianist) character will be critical here. The audience will have to get under his skin for a bit, learn what makes him tick, sympathize with him, etc. Maybe "play" on the pianist's shortcomings or emotional baggage from the past? He's been a victim of unrequited love before, but not this time. What's the tipping point?

A good deal of creative types are typically depressed or clinically manic depressive, so that's not too unusual an angle. Many turn to drugs and booze and self-medicate to feel normal. Does he hear voices? From my research on depression a lot of folks that suffer have a nagging feeling inside, a little voice telling them they are no good or worthless or the like.

Maybe he only feels "normal" when he's playing piano and then only feels "amazing" when his love interest is singing with him, like she's the missing piece to his music. Without her, he simply doesn't feel . She provides his "high". (High Notes possible title, just riffing) She becomes the drug and he must have more and more. Maybe at first, she feels the same way, they both feel the magic, the connection through the music, but then for her it's just a song, for HIM it means EVERYTHING.

Just ideas... breaking story (as they call it) is a wonderful place to be. You can take it anywhere. Like staring at a road map. "Where do I go today?"

Have fun and good luck!

 

[Murdock]

Why not follow some of the ideas above. Flesh them out, but at the end turns out the guy was imagining the whole thing and he kills himself.

 

[Flicker Pictures]

It would be great if the music and sound design in this short mimicked the main character and his mood swings. Lots of potential for a great score if you found a super talented pianist looking to get his or her! music out there. Would you cast someone who could play piano? That might be important.

 

[Alcove Audio]

Musician obsessed with singer = "Phantom of the Opera"


The musician/producer could have worked with/developed a potential star in his past and she dies (OD, suicide, murder - is he the cause/guilty?). Although subsequently very successful it still haunts him.

Many years later he discovers and takes on a look-alike/sound-alike protégé and the nightmare of the past descends upon him; will history repeat itself?

 

[Semiazas]

Some good ideas here.

Maybe he only feels "normal" when he's playing piano and then only feels "amazing" when his love interest is singing with him, like she's the missing piece to his music. Without her, he simply doesn't feel . She provides his "high". (High Notes possible title, just riffing) She becomes the drug and he must have more and more. Maybe at first, she feels the same way, they both feel the magic, the connection through the music, but then for her it's just a song, for HIM it means EVERYTHING.

Have fun and good luck!

I like that idea, it'd certainlly add to it.

Why not follow some of the ideas above. Flesh them out, but at the end turns out the guy was imagining the whole thing and he kills himself.

No offence, but I'm not too fond of that ending, I just feel like it kind of blunts the ending a bit.

It would be great if the music and sound design in this short mimicked the main character and his mood swings. Lots of potential for a great score if you found a super talented pianist looking to get his or her! music out there. Would you cast someone who could play piano? That might be important.

Well, I imagine I'll be writing the music for it so... I might have to play to the pianist (that isn't as an ego thing, purley as an issue of practicality)

One other thing I'm looking for some advice on is actually what the characters will say, since there will probably only be the two characters, I'd struggle to give them lots of things to say to each other. Tips, help or anything?

 

[Flicker Pictures]

Maybe they only truly communicate through their music, but find that they struggle for words outside of rehearsal or performance? I can imagine the pianist tripping over his tongue, stammering, struggling to get the right words out, but never quite feeling comfortable talking. He's only in his true element when he's in front of the keys and the song he writes for her?

Again, only ideas here. Stop me if I'm rambling too much... I'm a sucker for well-rounded characters and the premise presents a lot of possibilities.

 

[Murdock]

No offence, but I'm not too fond of that ending, I just feel like it kind of blunts the ending a bit.

A manic depressive is more likely to be suicidal than homicidal. So you might think of a differnet disorder to make it more believable?? also , with this ending you can create an atmosphere in which the audience feels sympathy for the pianist. They want him to get the girl, and are pulling for him. Then when they see he is dead, they have an emotional response instead of a shock response.??

And why not make the singer someone who is incapable of feeling love, or at least can't respond in a meaningful way??? Maybe she is schizophrenic and thinks the pianist is out to get her, but she wahts to be with him, but she can't. You could create multiple layers of tragidy. But it's your film.

 

[Flicker Pictures]

Good point, Murdock. Manic depressives are typically wired to be more suicidal (introverted, withdrawn, moody) than homicidal (lashing out at the world around them), although it goes without saying that many homicidal actions stem from some form or degree of depression. I think it would ring false if he killed the singer or held her hostage. If he is undiagnosed, which many are, he won't be on medication which means he'd be finding ways to self-medicate. But if he IS on medication (and aware of his condition) and goes off of the meds (because he feels so much better around her) that's where the trouble would kick in.

* I'm no psych expert, but my mother-in-law was a psych nurse for years so I've heard all variety of stories about her clients and she's helped me with writing research of my own

 

[Murdock]

* I'm no psych expert, but my mother-in-law was a psych nurse for years so I've heard all variety of stories about her clients and she's helped me with writing research of my own

I bet she has some tales.

 

[Flicker Pictures]

Oh yeah. Most were funny, some were sad, and all were true. She kept the names confidential "Let's just call him Bob or call her Jane." when telling the stories. Great material. But hell, I worked retail and there were just as many crazy stories to be found there as well!

 

[Semiazas]

A manic depressive is more likely to be suicidal than homicidal. So you might think of a differnet disorder to make it more believable?? also , with this ending you can create an atmosphere in which the audience feels sympathy for the pianist. They want him to get the girl, and are pulling for him. Then when they see he is dead, they have an emotional response instead of a shock response.??

And why not make the singer someone who is incapable of feeling love, or at least can't respond in a meaningful way??? Maybe she is schizophrenic and thinks the pianist is out to get her, but she wahts to be with him, but she can't. You could create multiple layers of tragidy. But it's your film.

That's actually a good idea. Sorry if that sounds like I'm really surprised but I like it. I'd certainlly struggle to write two mentally ill characters well and, like I said before, actually writing the script will be difficult as I have no idea what the dialouge will be at all. Any ideas?

And actually, that version of an ending could be a lot more powerful and create quite a twisted romantic tragedy if she stands over the pianists body and then finally sings the song as the piano melody plays on a record or something like that.

 

[Murdock]

That's actually a good idea. Sorry if that sounds like I'm really surprised but I like it. I'd certainlly struggle to write two mentally ill characters well and, like I said before, actually writing the script will be difficult as I have no idea what the dialouge will be at all. Any ideas?.

When you walk the street or are in a public place, I'm sure there have been times when you saw someone and just knew they were off. To me, the portrayl of a "crazy" character is not so much in what they say with their mouth but what they say with everything else. That being said, their dialogue will probably be relatively normal. Relative being the operative word. If she is a schizo, she will obviously have some problems communicating at times, with her mouth. However, her reaction to a given situation should tell us all we need to know.

I hope that makes some sort of sense.

 

[Murdock]

Maybe I should add this.

When I was in high school I spent my senior year working as a peer tutor with the special needs kids. This is a little different than your situation, but I mean to illustrate communication problems are over come. Some of these kids couldn't even talk, but believe me, they were still asking each other out on dates, making plans, and the like. So I guess when I say normal I mean the content, not the delivery.

 

[polfilmblog]

"The premise is that a manic depressive pianist begins to become obssessed with a singer he performs with. "​

Biggest problem I see (hear) is: do you have this thing cast already? Unless you have a really GOOD pianst AND singer, this idea falls flat on its face.

It could be any two people in any arts, really.

As for obsession, it needs a twist, a third element because it's been done to death. WHY is he obsessed with her? Unless there's a compelling reason, there's not much reason to pursue this.

 

[Papertwinproductions]

"The premise is that a manic depressive pianist begins to become obssessed with a singer he performs with. "​

Biggest problem I see (hear) is: do you have this thing cast already? Unless you have a really GOOD pianst AND singer, this idea falls flat on its face.

It could be any two people in any arts, really.

As for obsession, it needs a twist, a third element because it's been done to death. WHY is he obsessed with her? Unless there's a compelling reason, there's not much reason to pursue this.

Finding a suitable/talented pianist and singer shouldn't be a problem at all. There are thousands of arts colleges, casting websites, too many actors/musicians to name looking for an opportunity...

I wholly agree with your take on the obsession, something volitile, and unexpected seems the key.