story comming of age or murder story?

[wheatgrinder]

I had an experience, about 29 years ago that I think would be an awesome jumping off point for a short film.

It involves has hot rods, pretty girls, drugs, class tension and murder set in small town during the early 80's and takes place all in one night.

Some historic info is found in the "history" portion of this appeal document..

http://id.findacase.com/research/wfrmDocViewer.aspx/xq/fac.19850206_0015041.ID.htm/qx

I was also one of two people who found the victim still alive and dragged him into the hospital, I witnessed some of the events, too.. In short, I was only an observer to a few of the key events of the TRUE story, but the night was also a memorable one for me, I just got my license, I was dragging main with a pretty girl of my own, going to a kegger in the hills, etc.

EDIT: Important note, I knew EVERYONE sighted in the case in varying degrees, the convicted was especially close to my older brothers, and I ran with them pretty much all the time...


I would like to "fiction" it up a bit make it a more "coming of age" story for a cooler kid then me (though I was pretty dang cool) So how much "Fiction" am I allowed and yet keep it a "true story?" also, maybe keeping it a true story is a BAD idea, seeing how its a murder case, and there is not statute of limitations I might get some folks a bit upset.. what if I find a different story then the police one? Am I commiting libel if I basically say the other guy did it?

So would you make the murder just another crazy event in a night full of crazy goings on? Or would you make it the KEY story element?

(Just re-reading what I wrote I think I KNOW I want to dig into the murder and make it the meat of the story.. that case report doesn't ring quite complete or accurate.. )

 

[kinglis]

I agree this is clearly a crime-drama feature worthy basis.
Since there's nothing particularly outstanding, remarkable or historical about the "true events" (same/similar stuff happens across the planet I imagine) I'd steer clear of hamstringing YOUR creative efforts with any dedication to maintaining this "near" likely events fictionalization.

I don't know if I'd make it a coming of age crime drama.
I'd probably go with seminal event or fictional biopic of a f#cked up series of events.
And I'd make it contemporary rather than a 1980s event.

Lettuce see what sort of drama could be pulled out of this...
- Driver was fighter, but backseat buddy was stabber.
- Driver + front seat GF collude about inciting events in the backseat which backseat GF of stabber denies. Hmm...
- Motivations:
- Does driver feel guilty? Beating up for offhand remark is one thing, semi-responsible for the actions of his friend (stabber) can make an emotional mess. Does he support friend or support truth? Why either? Set up conflict of interests before the drive begins. Did Driver and Stabber already have an argument over Stabber's impulsiveness? Did Driver already predict this same outcome earlier? Did Stabber dismiss him or become inspired by it? Did Stabber stab to prove "free will" to Driver? Did the four of them already have a clever metaphysical argument among friends about fate vs. free will? Before Stabber's arrest what was the argument he and Driver had about the event? The argument between Stabber and his GF?
- How are parrents/guardians impediments or enablers?
- Are the driver and his GF deliberately setting up stabbing "friend" in back seat?
- Did Stabber's GF actually provoke victim with a coy grin, a wink, a little more cleavage than necessary, a grope of the vic's groin when Stabber wasn't looking?
- Did Stabber's GF emotionally manipulate Stabber?

A lot of what I'm getting at is not so much that "Poor perpetrator is a victim himself, waa, waa, waa" pawn, but rather there's often more information about any given event than what is reported in the news or even turned up in or supressed from court.

Maybe stabber was a full blown psychopath in the growing.
Maybe this is Stabber's recollection from prison as a mature man about how he achieved self actualization many years ago.
Upon his release he's planning on visiting his friend, the Driver, and his GF to thank them both for helping him become the monster that he is today.
And that he's going to murder them both for it. (Yeah. It's effed up and twisted. Thank them then kill them. That's the plan).

Consider the relationships between sons and fathers.
Is the driver's father a city councilman on the verge of bringing a much needed jobs producing manufacturing plant to town?
Will guilt by association force father to pressure his son to tell the truth rather than support his friend?
Is the Stabber like a second son to the Driver's father? What if City Councilman father of Driver often took the boys out on hiking and camping trips since elementary school? What if he's like surrogate father to the boy? What if the father gave the Stabber the knife as birthday present? (Councilman father is also a businessman and the company logo is embarrassingly imprinted on Exhibit A).
Maybe the Stabber's father is a local city official. How does this complicate things? Good man + bad kid.

Is the stabber rebuking a good father? Or following in the footsteps of a bad father? Is Stabber's father already in prison?
Did Stabber's father previously shame him over being a chicken sh!t little split-tail coward or that if he were "a real man with some backbone or salt" he'd step up and help a friend... and this was his big opportunity to prove to his dad wrong, that he wasn't a coward and would be there for a friend in need. (Vic was getting the upper hand on Driver before Stabber stepped in "to assist").

Maybe this is a reddemptive story.
Maybe despite everyone pressuring the Driver to cut loose his friendship he refuses.
Maybe Stabber and his GF are really in love. What if they secretly get married the next day before he's arrested. Now the mother is telling this story to their child before Stab-Daddy is being released from prison. Maybe this is really her story and not his.
Is she a good woman for remaining faithful to her true love despite his unlawful actions?
Is she a Bible thumper? Is she cosmic? Is she scared as hell? Does she love her husband but is frieghtened by the monster?

With shades of REQUIEM FOR A DREAM, Stabber + GF represent those with everything against them yet they inspiringly prevail despite this and subsequent incarceration, meanwhile the Driver + GF represent those that have everything but are determined to make a stomach turning effed-up mess of their lives.

What if "Stabber" is really a martyr?
A poor, dying community, desperate for any attention and funding, finally sees a spot of hope when one of it's boys is accepted to West Point or to receive a college football scholarship.
Many hopes lie upon this one kid's shoulders, and he's just stabbed a former classmate.
Four friends discuss and debate what to do.
Someone will go to jail, will it be the right "man"?

What if Driver is really guilty, but his well financed father offers to provide financial assistance to "Stabber's" family (to save the six generation family farm!) if he takes the rap for his son who has a promising future ahead?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_(United_States_law)#Degrees_of_murder_in_the_United_States
Find some evidentiary element to question and debate under which of these Stabber will be tried and sentenced.

Four people.
Unknown alliances.
Endless motivational and outcome permutations.

Eloquent

 

[Cracker Funk]

exactly right CF.
So far I've got:

Good setting- Check
Interesting characters - Check
Tight duration - Check
Visual story elements - Check

I'm missing the glue that brings it all together in an emotionally fulfilling way.

I don't know that that I can make "big change" be that "glue" what are some alternatives?

Maybe I should focus on one small personal change. Maybe the kid is asked to lie to protect the family\friend.. .. maybe this story, like Firebug (any status SteveZen), becomes about loyalty vs "doing the right thing"


whatdayathink?

First of all, I gotta say -- nice post, Rayw.

Anyway, my thoughts pretty much come down to one distinction -- at what point in the film does the murder happen? The way I see it, it can either be the catalyst that sends our hero into the 2nd act, or it can be right smack-dab in the center of the climactic finale. And where you put it determines what meaning it has (or, the meaning you want it to have determines where to put it).

If it's early in the movie, then I think the coming-of-age internal conflict would be a question of how our protag reacts to the murder. I believe you mentioned the idea of the protag having to decide if he/she tells the truth, and that's how I think something like that would fit in. The murder would have to happen early, for this type of inner-conflict to work, I think.

In my head, though, I can only see this murder taking place during the climactic finale. If it were done this way, off the top of my head, the coming-of-age struggle would be a tale of our hero being pulled in two different directions, a la "Bronx Tale" or "Good Will Hunting". In this way, the murder would serve as a brutal reminder, and close call, for our hero to see first-hand, what kind of stuff happens when you travel down the other path.

So, our hero decides that he is going to enlist in the marines. Or, he is going to take over his dad's business. Or, he is going to drive across the county to see about a girl and get a job that will let him put his genius mathematical mind to work.

On second thought, I'm not 100% sure I'd have the murder in the climactic finale, if you went this way, but it would definitely be in the third act.

 

[rayw]

Thanks, CF.

On second thought, I'm not 100% sure I'd have the murder in the climactic finale, if you went this way, but it would definitely be in the third act.

Bingo.
As I ran through the two dozen premises the murder kept flip flopping back and forth between end of Act I and end of Act II. To me it was never a climactic moment.

It's not blowing up the Death Star, or sending Freddy Kruger away until next summer.
Stupid kids doing stupid things, one gets stabbed... and the story's over? Fini?! Really? Hmmph.
I kinda see some more interesting events leading up to and away from that event.

It's all up to Wheat, now.

I strongly encourge him/you to follow the natural path of least resistance that isn't too tired, over done and cliché.
Wherever your mind naturally gravitates toward.
Old woodworking saying: Don't fight the wood. Pick another piece of wood if this one resists your vision.

 

[wheatgrinder]

going with what I know, writing from my heart, the family\friend loyalty conflict is the angle that speaks to me.

So as the main character is following his smaller path which is the same as every 16 year old boy, getting the girl!

the events leading to the murder spin around him. He interacts with all the characters associated with the murder, reinforcing the "hey, bro, your part of our team" sorta thing.

There are two loyalty groups in the murder cast, "the children of the rich and powerful" and the "poor street wise transplants from the big city" The main character is between these two worlds as he "transplanted" young enough to be included in the "locals" but is brothers with the street wise aliens, so he has the confidence of both which is how he gets into the personal internal conflict.

We have the twin visual climax of scoring with the girl and the stabbing. In the comedown from that action the main character, still oblivious to whats going on, is brought into the inner circle of the murder by finding the victim and dragging him into the hospital, as he waits out in the waiting room, the "real" perp reveals that he didn't mean to kill the guy it just sorta happened, the perp is NOT part of his primary loyalty group, but IS part of the group his GIRL belongs too.. ahha.. shades of Montagues and Capulets!

Rather then drag this out, we are pretty much at the end, one final concept where we see the impact of his "choice" (the right or wrong perp led off to jail)