• Wondering which camera, gear, computer, or software to buy? Ask in our Gear Guide.

Comedic punch-lines

reel_

reel_

Hey everyone, a few hours ago I woke up thinking about James Bond and his arrogant character.
And I couldn't stop chuckling when I came up with this little scene


Code: 
EXT. HOTEL DELIVÅNA
BOND drives to the entrance of the hotel. 
A lady-escort opens the door, BOND walks out

             ESCORT
       Hi, I’m Mandy

             BOND
       But, ofcourse you are

BOND walks into the hotel

Please share if you also have any of those, I love reading small random scenes
 
Sort by date Sort by votes
Probably funnier if the name was Randi (cue the double-entendre)

My fave Bond name was from The Man with the Golden Gun - asian girl in hot-tub named Chew Mee :blush:
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
Wikiquotes is what you need. But take them with a grain of salt, just glancing over the first few Bond films I see loads of small errors.

The World Is Not Enough:

Christmas Jones: I don't know..but the world's greatest terrorist running around with 6 kilos of weapons-grade plutonium can't be good. I have to get it back, or somebody's gonna have my ass.

Bond (giving her the once-over): First things first.

~

Bond: [in bed with Jones] I was wrong about you.

Christmas Jones: Yeah, how so?

Bond: I thought Christmas only comes once a year.

~

Thunderball:

Fiona: Some men just don't like to be driven.

Bond: No, some men don't like to be taken for a ride.

~

Bond: That gun, it looks more fitting for a woman.

Emilio Largo: You know much about guns, Mr. Bond?

Bond: No, but I know a little about women.

~

One of my favorites is from a Bond film that isn't really even a Bond film, Never Say Never Again:

[Fatima has a Bond at gunpoint]

Fatima Blush: Write this: "The greatest rapture of my life was afforded me on a boat in Nassau by Fatima Blush," and sign it "James Bond, 007."

Bond [starts to write, then stops]: I just remembered. It's against Service policy to give endorsements.

Fatima Blush: Write!

~

Nurse [across the room]: Mr. Bond, I need a urine sample. If you could fill this beaker for me?

Bond: From here?

~

M: Too many free radicals. That's your problem.

Bond: "Free radicals," sir?

M: Yes. They're toxins that destroy the body and the brain, caused by eating too much red meat and white bread and too many dry martinis!

Bond: Then I shall cut out the white bread, sir.
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0 Downvote
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top