watch Cold As Ice - Short Film

[CJInzana]

A 1920's period piece that turned out pretty good considering the amount of complications we had. This is pretty much the first film I've done that I actually had a crew of more than just myself working on one of my own scripts.

Let me know what you think, don't hesitate to criticize it as long as it's constructive.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VuLvZj3l0zY

P.S. Just want to note that this film is proof I shouldn't act. My actor was unavailable last moment, but I was tired of rescheduling bc of him so we continued with me as the actor.

 

[Zensteve]

Well! He certainly taught her a lesson, huh?!

Your film is over right as you get the opporunity to start the journey. Is this supposed to be part of a larger story? It seems unfinished... mainly 'cos we never learn anything.

Your sound's a bit meh, but I'm sure you know that. Is that what police sirens sounded like back in the 1920's, btw? I dunno for sure, but that sounds a lot more modern.

Everything I say is constructive... or inquisitive.

 

[Murdock]

Period pieces are tricky. Especially when you bam it in our face 1929!! From that point my stupid brain is seeing everything that isn't 1929. Why not leave it as "in the past", don't give a date. Kinda like Napoleon Dynamite, or Raising Arizona?? Having said that, the two biggest things I saw were the Siren and the Graffiti. Her clothes and hair style might be iffy but without a date I wouldn't have thought twice.

As for the rest: The shaky cam is distracting after they stop running and are just sitting there. The wind sound is distracting as well. The acting felt wooden. He doesn't have physical pain nor that of betrayal. I guess her character could be wooden in a reptilian sort of way, but in this instance it comes across as bad acting.

As Steve said, I would be interested to see more of the story. Not just the beginning/ending.

 

[CJInzana]

Thanks guys, that's the kind of criticism I need.

Most of those things I've realized, but I've learned I can't dwell on the same film for two long or I'll go insane trying to fix it, instead I learn from my mistakes and try to not repeat them.

Just a side note... neither one of the actors were my original choices :/ The guy was me... needless to say I'm not a great actor, but better than no actor. The girl was... um... someone that my make-up artist found. She did alright, but I wasn't able to step back and direct us like I would have wished because I had to act.

I like that you guys realize it's part of a bigger story. It's actually from a feature I wrote, but don't plan on making any time soon. I really liked this scene tho, and it worked for a contest we were entering.

The siren was the only effect I could get on that short notice, and it wasn't what I wanted at all. Also the graffiti was unavoidable in that location (again, not my original choice of location).

All that being said, most of the setbacks that I had really set back the quality, but I'm working on my next film currently. It's a longer short film (approx. 25 min running time), and I think it will turn out ten times better.

Anyway, thanks guys. Keep anything else coming, i'd like to hear anyone's thoughts.