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archived-videos Blood Money Short
- Thread starter Big Bang Cinema
- Start date
I quite like the opening credits. A lot of effort clearly went into it, and the blood effects on the cash were really nice. I'm guessing you were inspired by the 007 animation openings, right? My favourite's Casino Royale 
There were a few things off about it though. For one, the animation didn't really match the pacing of the song behind it, which wouldn't be much of a problem other than the really slow start that the gun has. The background is also just plain black for the vast majority of it, whereas with the 007 openings there's never really a non-interesting part on the screen. The money seemed too thick, and somewhat lifeless as just floating rectangles.
Was a very nice approach to an opening though. The most common approach nowadays just has credits over establishing shots, but this is much more interesting.
Weirdly enough though, instead of sticking with the 007 inspired theme that you set up at the beginning, you moved more into Guy Ritchie territory with the still shots of characters and showing their names, as well as the more instrumental music. I think this is probably the downfall of the entire film really, this inconsistency in tone.
The fight scene seemed way too staged. The story also wasn't really set up, the guy just ran to the sand and started fighting. The fighting would be more realistic and much more engaging with them being slightly closer, with more close shots of the action and more actual contact between the two people. Again, I hate to sound like a broken record, but I'll refer you to the two recent James Bond films Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace, which gave a much more grounded and gritty feel to the combat that made it so much more engaging for the audience.
It took way too long following the guy with the briefcase, and the change in music wasn't really appropriate considering there wasn't a readily apparent end to the previous scene. The music even carried on over to this scene, which tends to link action together - yet the music changed shortly afterwards, instead of with the transition.
Another example of how you seemed to mismatch the pacing of the scene with the music was where he was sitting in a room smoking, brooding and whatnot, and then you just overlaid it with fast paced music. A lot of this would be a lot better if you just didn't have the music over the scenes.
Other than that, the basic stuff you're going to need to improve on is:
> Video Equipment - you need a better camera (the frame rate seems way too low, and the aspect ratio is very off but that isn't as much of a problem)
> Sound Equipment - I suggest getting an external microphone, as the difference between the clean sound of layered audio and the actual video sound is very obvious. You'll see that by the difference between the opening animation and the first scene. I suggest a boom mic.
> Shot Composition, Etc. - I suggest looking at this link and then this link, and then planning out your shots before shooting. It'll make your shots look at least a bit better, and get you to know the basics of what your shots should look at. Also, this link.
> Script - you need to get some actual continuity throughout the entire piece, just remember the three main points (at least, my three main points): clarity, continuity and simplicity. I say simplicity because you don't want to overcomplicate your plot unless you're trying to do something like Inception, but even that's hated for trying to over complicate everything for no reason.
There were a few things off about it though. For one, the animation didn't really match the pacing of the song behind it, which wouldn't be much of a problem other than the really slow start that the gun has. The background is also just plain black for the vast majority of it, whereas with the 007 openings there's never really a non-interesting part on the screen. The money seemed too thick, and somewhat lifeless as just floating rectangles.Was a very nice approach to an opening though. The most common approach nowadays just has credits over establishing shots, but this is much more interesting.
Weirdly enough though, instead of sticking with the 007 inspired theme that you set up at the beginning, you moved more into Guy Ritchie territory with the still shots of characters and showing their names, as well as the more instrumental music. I think this is probably the downfall of the entire film really, this inconsistency in tone.
The fight scene seemed way too staged. The story also wasn't really set up, the guy just ran to the sand and started fighting. The fighting would be more realistic and much more engaging with them being slightly closer, with more close shots of the action and more actual contact between the two people. Again, I hate to sound like a broken record, but I'll refer you to the two recent James Bond films Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace, which gave a much more grounded and gritty feel to the combat that made it so much more engaging for the audience.
It took way too long following the guy with the briefcase, and the change in music wasn't really appropriate considering there wasn't a readily apparent end to the previous scene. The music even carried on over to this scene, which tends to link action together - yet the music changed shortly afterwards, instead of with the transition.
Another example of how you seemed to mismatch the pacing of the scene with the music was where he was sitting in a room smoking, brooding and whatnot, and then you just overlaid it with fast paced music. A lot of this would be a lot better if you just didn't have the music over the scenes.
Other than that, the basic stuff you're going to need to improve on is:
> Video Equipment - you need a better camera (the frame rate seems way too low, and the aspect ratio is very off but that isn't as much of a problem)
> Sound Equipment - I suggest getting an external microphone, as the difference between the clean sound of layered audio and the actual video sound is very obvious. You'll see that by the difference between the opening animation and the first scene. I suggest a boom mic.
> Shot Composition, Etc. - I suggest looking at this link and then this link, and then planning out your shots before shooting. It'll make your shots look at least a bit better, and get you to know the basics of what your shots should look at. Also, this link.
> Script - you need to get some actual continuity throughout the entire piece, just remember the three main points (at least, my three main points): clarity, continuity and simplicity. I say simplicity because you don't want to overcomplicate your plot unless you're trying to do something like Inception, but even that's hated for trying to over complicate everything for no reason.
ThatGuyFromThatPlace, thanks for the opinion.
We almost didn't finish the short, coz suddenly our camera stop working.
Came the question, throw all footage out?
We decided to put a narrative of the main character to link the scenes. So certainly script is one of the weak points, along comes soundtrack, coz we didn't recorded enough dialogues, so we put music, too much. Framerate of 15fps (shame).
The smoking scene, with paint it black - rolling stones, then colors change to black bringing the idea o death.
Now we got a new cam, 720p with 30fps, and 60fps (excellent for slow motions).
Thanks for the tips will be very useful.
We almost didn't finish the short, coz suddenly our camera stop working.
Came the question, throw all footage out?
We decided to put a narrative of the main character to link the scenes. So certainly script is one of the weak points, along comes soundtrack, coz we didn't recorded enough dialogues, so we put music, too much. Framerate of 15fps (shame).
The smoking scene, with paint it black - rolling stones, then colors change to black bringing the idea o death.
Now we got a new cam, 720p with 30fps, and 60fps (excellent for slow motions).
Thanks for the tips will be very useful.
the shots should be more dramatic, and the narrator's voice more intense, but the music was good, and the acting so-so.
Sidewalkbowling, thx for the opinion.
Murdock, certainly, except making the 3D thing, that's always tiring.
Murdock, certainly, except making the 3D thing, that's always tiring.
Good job on finishing your short. It's definitely better to shoot people with a camera, than with a gun!
Dude, you got a whole lot of stuff you can cut. It felt like that dude was walking forever. Walking isn't that exciting, cut that to a bare-minimum. Ditto, for somebody sitting on a couch -- not that exciting. Ditto for spitting out blood.
Always make a scene as long as it needs to be, and not 1 frame longer. Keep it tight, always. This cut is very fat.
Also, though I know you had camera troubles, I'm not a big fan of the narration. In almost all cases, it's better to show than to tell.
Good luck with the new camera, and with your next short!
Dude, you got a whole lot of stuff you can cut. It felt like that dude was walking forever. Walking isn't that exciting, cut that to a bare-minimum. Ditto, for somebody sitting on a couch -- not that exciting. Ditto for spitting out blood.
Always make a scene as long as it needs to be, and not 1 frame longer. Keep it tight, always. This cut is very fat.
Also, though I know you had camera troubles, I'm not a big fan of the narration. In almost all cases, it's better to show than to tell.
Good luck with the new camera, and with your next short!
Congrats on finishing the project. The comments from other posters will help your future projects.
I'd like to thank you for the subtitles - its not something everyone would do.
I wouldn't worry so much about camera and equipment at this point -- focus on basic filmmaking techniques, editing and acting.
You really need to move your opening credits, no matter how cool, to the back end. Your opening credits pushed 2 minutes - that's 20% of the entire film. You'll lose most viewers before the film starts. In a short film, action must start immediately! I quit watching at the 3:11 mark.
Good luck and don't give up. We all learned through trial and error!
I'd like to thank you for the subtitles - its not something everyone would do.
I wouldn't worry so much about camera and equipment at this point -- focus on basic filmmaking techniques, editing and acting.
You really need to move your opening credits, no matter how cool, to the back end. Your opening credits pushed 2 minutes - that's 20% of the entire film. You'll lose most viewers before the film starts. In a short film, action must start immediately! I quit watching at the 3:11 mark.
Good luck and don't give up. We all learned through trial and error!
Cracker Funk, lol... shoot... I agree with you about the narration, it's better to show than to tell.
GuerrillaAngel, i guess one the best things an independent filmmaker can have is the desire of create something, the equipment is just a complement.
The credits is something i realised after a time, the movie is too short to have such a size of starting credits.
Thx for your opinion guys.
GuerrillaAngel, i guess one the best things an independent filmmaker can have is the desire of create something, the equipment is just a complement.
The credits is something i realised after a time, the movie is too short to have such a size of starting credits.
Thx for your opinion guys.
I liked it, I thought it was pretty cool. But the fight scene did seem a little fake. I agree with Crack about the cutting the not so exciting scenes. walking etc.. Maybe a little bit about the employer could have made your narration better....kind of more complete. Congrats man.