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Best Kickstarter campaign videos?

Yeah, the blood was too magenta, maybe I can tweak the color a bit, make it darker. I mixed red Tempura paint (non-toxic, washable, for kids) with some corn syrup. Should have added a touch of dark chocolate syrup. Thanks for watching!
 
Thanks 2001, glad you got some laughs. What parts should be cut? It's gone from 7:30 min to 5:00. Let me know which parts you think need trimming. I've taken just about everyone's input on this thing. For this campaign, shorter is better. Cheers.
 
Early on you establish jump-cutting as a stylistic choice - one that works very well here. I would do more of that. Keep all the meat of the thing, but tighten up the pace. Once we see the ax and hear the nagging wife we know immediately where this thing is headed, so get us there a bit quicker. 5 minutes is kind of a long time to keep us waiting for the inevitable.

A lot of your interaction with the wife is redundant - "get a job", etc. Don't lose all that, necessarily, but crunch it together a bit more. Even if you cut her off halfway through a line I think it would play out well. The pace can increase as your frustration increases. Same with the wallpaper bit, etc. That's funny stuff and well-played by the two of you.

This is just my opinion, of course. I think you've got some good stuff there so feel free to ignore me. :)
 
Thanks, Mick. I never ignore feedback. I consider it all and if it makes sense for the project I do my best to incorporate it. Otherwise I wouldn't ask for your time or anyone else's. Appreciate it. :)

Maybe I'll aim for a 4 minute version. It's a work in progress.

* 50 projects for Bill in 3 years. http://twitgoo.com/2andlk Busiest guy in Hollywood? Could be!
 
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I too would go with 4 minutes. 3 even. One sequence I wouldn't cut is the part where you talk about the backdrop. I was wondering why you used what you did, that scene ties your set to the narrative, without that little exposition (which is kinda funny btw) it might just look like a bad set.

I agree too that the blood didn't look right. It's too much. I don't know how to make blood splatter look real. I've tried and I hate working with cornsyrup. How about if it's like a spray mark? Would it work if you were first off cam and we hear the thumping and THEN you come back to cam, give your lines, then go off cam to chop again? Wouldn't need so much blood that way.

I like the tone and wit though, whoever sees it will know their money is in skilled hands and that it won't be another exploitative chop 'em up.
 
^^^^^
Or, last (jump) shot you could be finishing wiping your bloodied face with one of Rebecca's favorite monogrammed tea towels. :D
 
OK, will be aiming for a shorter version.

I was trying to keep as many of the remote turn-offs instead of just using the jump cuts, but I may have to say goodbye to a few of those.

Cat fabric sequence is a keeper. That seems to be a favorite of folks.

Wiping blood from my face with her tea towel? My goodness, Bird. Diabolical! ;)
 
Finally got around to checking it out, Jeff.

You have such presence on screen. I'd have never have thought you could be so composed. This is going to do very, very well.

Not alot to add upon the length what hasn't already been offered above. It needs shortening. It's your material, it's all funny. But it needs to bite, and snap. So go through it with a fine tooth comb. Cut it as fine as you can.

There's a definitive balance to all successful campaigns. You've got half of it. I want to watch more. You're interesting, and you have my attention. But, be it that the pitch is so personalised, and stylised, I felt I had to go back and watch it again to find out what the movie is about. It's an easy amendable problem. You've got our attention. Now we need to know the details. We need to know exactly what's going to happen.

Tell us why YOU are making this movie, where our money will go to, why it is important that YOU are making this movie and nobody else.

I'd lose the showing of the quotes, and the picture of the actor. You can clarify all of this in a punchy brief of your intentions. Like I said, just tell us your plans, show us your enthusiasm. Mention the actor, perhaps point to a link on the screen, and just mention a few things he's been involved in. Tighten the strings.

Think of your pitch as the bridge between you and each member of your audience. Not to your audience as whole, although when marketing your campaign, that's exactly what you need. However, right now, think of it as a personal message, one by one. I'm your main focus. Mentioning that another guy loves it isn't important to me. The reason I'm going to break my bank of pennies to contribute to your funds is because I've connected with either yourself, the material, or both.

It has to be all about that one person reading the pitch. Because the few dollars in their back pocket doesn't belong to the screenwriter, or film exec you're quoting, it belongs to them, and it's often overlooked at the campaigners peril. It's the dealbreaker.

Cover the business side!

Just give us a quick and snappy run down on the plans for the budget. Where it's going to, why it's important. Seeing as you're already covered in blood, end it with something that leaves us with you, because you're the selling point. Something simple like...

"Anything beyond the budget will go to...clean up. Hmm. I probably shouldn't have--She'll be okay."

Tighten the strings, brush up the details, and you're onto a winner.
 
All good, man. Thanks for the eyes! I think I've hatched a new plan of attack. Stay tuned. Maybe this campaign will end up on the DVD. For now, something new, something super short, too! Under 1 minute. K.I.S.S. (Keep It Short, Stupid) ;)
 
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