Anyone willing to critique my script?

[Toxoiid]

Hello everyone,

I mostly lurk in this forum, but I think you guys are awesome and offer great advice.

I just finished my first draft for a short film (about 18 pages) and wanted someone with fresh eyes to critique the story. More so than that, tell me your honest opinion of the story. Is it good? Does it fall flat? Any areas that need more work/ development? Anything helps.

If you would like to help me out, send me a PM and I'll send a PDF of the script to your e-mail.

Thanks.

 

[dandavis]

Hi Toxoiid, here is my mail: dandavis800@gmail.com
You can send it.

 

[beamazed]

I'm not the greatest writer, but I'd still love to give it a read! Just e-mail it to me at: jon.banach@me.com

 

[v0laci0us]

I'd love to give it a read if you still want people. elliehodgetts@hotmail.co.uk