Here are some names from the great movie "Four Rooms". I mean to change your name is huge. Maybe one of these, or a combination will work for you.
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ANGELA
It's hard to stop talking about something so huge. I could
go on and on about his ****, bone, nob, bishop, wang,
thang, hotrod. Hump mobile, Oscar, dong, dagger, banana,
cucumber, salami. Sausage, kielbasa, schlong, dink, tool,
Big Ben, Mister Happy, prick, disk, pecker, peter, pee-pee,
wee-wee, weiner, pisser, pistol, joint, hose, horn, middle-
leg, third-leg, meat, stick, joystick, dipstick.
Angela is on a roll. She fires the words at Sigfried, hitting him pointblank. He staggers. He pleads with her to stop, covering his ears. Ted watches the man crumble.
ANGELA
(continuing)
Junior, the little head, little guy, Rumple Foreskin, Tootsie
Roll. Snake, one-eyed monster, one-eyed wonder, shaft,
sword, meat whistle, skin flute, love muscle, Roto-Rooter,
instrument, banger, rammer, ramrod, cherrypicker, log,
pole.
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What you think?