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Am I dreaming to big?

Hey all. I'm wanting to do what I think is a fairly unique movie short but am having trouble. My idea is to do short about a modern day detective on the hunt for a killer but the killer is an otherworldly creature.

I live in one of the oldest towns in Louisiana and thought it would be cool if i could set up an alternate history for the town. My only problem would be trying to explain it all in the time frame I'm wanting to stay in. I'm wanting it to run about 10 minutes divided into 3 separate scenes.

The first would be the opening where I would like to open with an inner monologue from the main character detailing what has been happening as well as a history for the town and meeting a contact who would give him information.

The second would be researching the creature and its history.

The third would be meeting the contact again only to discover that the creature has killed him and assumed his form.

So what do you guys think? Am I dreaming to big for a 10 minute short?
 
In my opinion, it's unnecessary to set up the history. If you really want it, keep it short; a third of the running time devoted to a history lesson would turn me off, unless it was told in an interesting way (ie not a narration) and was extremely pertinent to the detective story.

Still, it sounds feasible within 10 minutes, but you probably won't be able to build much sympathy for character in that time while explaining history and researching the creature.
 
Good point. I want the main character believes creatures were extinct. My idea is for the main characters contact to deal in smuggling between our world and the creatures world. That way it gives the contact reason to know about the creature.
 
Well when you get down to it, it may take some work but you can usually get what you want in a small space. Like a music video I'm working on. Sometimes you might have to get rid of some of your favorite shots to get the point across. You have to remember, if you get rid of a scene the audience will never know! So It'll take some work but it could be done, Once you start you'll know if it fits. Also get all the scenes you want and if you have to do, get rid of some.
 
Depends on your budget, and the time you can make in your schedule.

If you have a good screenplay, enough knowledge as a director to put together a film, and a capable crew, there will still be obstacles to overcome but you could most likely but it together. You may want to work on smaller projects, and work your way up towards bigger projects so that the final product is better. Although a word of warning: try to eliminate as many special effects and past/future time periods as possible.
 
I do not think you’re dreaming too big. I think the opening where
you would like to open with an inner monologue from the main
character detailing what has been happening as well as a history
for the town sounds boring. Even the second where the main
character would be researching sounds boring to me.

But I think you should write the script. Maybe you can make it
very interesting. Think you can? The premise of a modern day
detective on the hunt for a killer but the killer is an otherworldly
creature sounds really cool.
 
I do not think you’re dreaming too big. I think the opening where
you would like to open with an inner monologue from the main
character detailing what has been happening as well as a history
for the town sounds boring. Even the second where the main
character would be researching sounds boring to me.

But I think you should write the script. Maybe you can make it
very interesting. Think you can? The premise of a modern day
detective on the hunt for a killer but the killer is an otherworldly
creature sounds really cool.

Fair enough. Let me ask you this, do you think that instead of a slower inner monologue opening should I try to open with something more exciting? Like maybe the creature killing a victim while still trying to maintain the facade that the killer is human?
 
Depends on your budget, and the time you can make in your schedule.

If you have a good screenplay, enough knowledge as a director to put together a film, and a capable crew, there will still be obstacles to overcome but you could most likely but it together. You may want to work on smaller projects, and work your way up towards bigger projects so that the final product is better. Although a word of warning: try to eliminate as many special effects and past/future time periods as possible.

Thanks for the advice. I'm trying to make it as simple as possible so the effects can be minimal. Lighting is one of big things I need to make sure I get right. If I screw up the lighting for the last scene especially then I've ruined the movie.
 
While sometimes cutting certain material may compromise the continuity of the story, it may be necessary to meet time constraints, and you need to decide what is really the most valuable and keep that. That said, I treat my screenplay writing a bit like my editing. I will write out everything I feel belongs, and then cut from there. Take out what doesn't actually fit, what isn't value added, and what can just simply go and not be missed. I'd say write out your screenplay in its entirety and then cut as you see fit. Evaluate the pacing of your screenplay and hopefully you'll end up with something that will slide you in under the 10 minute mark.

I didn't see it mentioned, why do you need to keep it under 10 minutes? Would it kill it if it ran over?
 
Fair enough. Let me ask you this, do you think that instead of a slower inner monologue opening DON'T do this should I try to open with something more exciting? YES! Like maybe the creature killing a victim while still trying to maintain the facade that the killer is human? Perfect!
At a different forum for screenwriters they/we just concluded a horror short challenge (not a competition!) and I observed three different story formats which I'll eventually build a graphic for.

1. The Punch Line Horror Story: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, setting up the scenario, blah, blah, Boo! Agh! Horror punchline for the last page of eight to ten pages.
Lame.

2. The Spike Punch Line Horror Story: Open with a horrific scene, then fall into the above format of blah, blah, blah, set up the final scene, blah, blah, Boo! Agh!
Still kinda lame.

3. The Meat & Taters Horror Story: Boo! Agh! Boo! Agh! Boo! Agh! Blah? Bla? Bl... Boo! Agh! Boo! Agh! Blah? Bla? Bl... Boo! Agh! Boo! Agh!
My preference.

But I loathe "slow burn" (loud snore) "increasing tension' (:rolleyes: What am I? Eight years old?) stories.
So... your milage may vary.

I didn't see it mentioned, why do you need to keep it under 10 minutes? Would it kill it if it ran over?
YES!
Six minutes is plenty enough.

There's a good market reason why the Average Gross of drama films is so low.
http://www.the-numbers.com/market/Genres/
It's because there's too many of them and no one wants to watch four extra minutes of sophomoric, self naveling, boring blabbity blab.
IMHO, of course.
Just a guess, really.
 
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While sometimes cutting certain material may compromise the continuity of the story, it may be necessary to meet time constraints, and you need to decide what is really the most valuable and keep that. That said, I treat my screenplay writing a bit like my editing. I will write out everything I feel belongs, and then cut from there. Take out what doesn't actually fit, what isn't value added, and what can just simply go and not be missed. I'd say write out your screenplay in its entirety and then cut as you see fit. Evaluate the pacing of your screenplay and hopefully you'll end up with something that will slide you in under the 10 minute mark.


...This is exactly how I choose to write. Start out with everything and work your way back. Having something to start with (even if it's way too much) is much easier than trying to keep it all within a set time frame with highly-limited creativity.

-Birdman
 
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Hey all. I'm wanting to do what I think is a fairly unique movie short but am having trouble. My idea is to do short about a modern day detective on the hunt for a killer but the killer is an otherworldly creature.

I live in one of the oldest towns in Louisiana and thought it would be cool if i could set up an alternate history for the town. My only problem would be trying to explain it all in the time frame I'm wanting to stay in. I'm wanting it to run about 10 minutes divided into 3 separate scenes.

The first would be the opening where I would like to open with an inner monologue from the main character detailing what has been happening as well as a history for the town and meeting a contact who would give him information.

The second would be researching the creature and its history.

The third would be meeting the contact again only to discover that the creature has killed him and assumed his form.

So what do you guys think? Am I dreaming to big for a 10 minute short?


Just wanted to give a shout out to ya! I live in Louisiana as well :D

I'm from the Thibodaux/Houma area, about 45 minutes outside of New Orleans. How about you?
 
What motivates the killer? Are the killings part of some plot to take over the world? Is the killer just an alien psychopath? Is the killer an offworld hunter and humans are just his prey du joir? Are the killings revenge motivated (victims caused harm to killer/killer's world)? Is the killer from another planet or another dimension? What is his/her/it's true appearance? How does the killer cloak itself? What are the visible clues that the killer is not human?
 
Instead of an inner monologue or research....

Your character takes over a "serial killer" investigation for another detective (who is retiring? has a health problem? mental problem?) who has to brief your protagonist. You'll need the whole shebang - crime scene photos, surveillance footage, witness interviews, maps, whatever. This gives you the opportunity for "show, don't tell" (although you will still have to tell a lot) as they sift through all of the evidence to get your protagonist up to speed.
 
What motivates the killer? Are the killings part of some plot to take over the world? Is the killer just an alien psychopath? Is the killer an offworld hunter and humans are just his prey du joir? Are the killings revenge motivated (victims caused harm to killer/killer's world)? Is the killer from another planet or another dimension? What is his/her/it's true appearance? How does the killer cloak itself? What are the visible clues that the killer is not human?

Okay the creature itself is called a Wraith. Their kind fed on humans and were sealed away. Now after centuries the seal holding them has weakened and one has escaped. The killings are part of a ritual to destroy the seal and release the rest of its kind. The Wraith has the ability to assume the form of anyone it's killed. As far as identifiable clues that the creature is not human. Occasionally it's voice will change or sound like multiple voices at once.


Instead of an inner monologue or research....

Your character takes over a "serial killer" investigation for another detective (who is retiring? has a health problem? mental problem?) who has to brief your protagonist. You'll need the whole shebang - crime scene photos, surveillance footage, witness interviews, maps, whatever. This gives you the opportunity for "show, don't tell" (although you will still have to tell a lot) as they sift through all of the evidence to get your protagonist up to speed.


The movie will open with a murder. The fourth one to be exact. I will be aiming for a creepy vibe for the opening where you know the victim is going to get it but you don't know form where.

The second scene will show the detective walking into a restaurant to meet with a man who works as an information broker and informant. During this scene they will determine what it is that they are dealing with and what it plans to do.

The final scene will be the detective arriving at the location where the next murder will happen to confront the creature.


That's my plan so far. What do you think of it?
 
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