archived-videos Always Be - Short Film

I've seen much worse things at AS! The trouble with all these films is that the camera's aren't very good and (I assume it's a course requirement) you don't use professional DOPs. Actually from the credits I don't remember you having a DOP at all...

The music is excellent and the atmosphere is really evocative which is good, especially in a silent piece. Some of the camerawork could do with some work, there are some fractional movements that are necessary, but on the whole it's fine.

The trouble with something this short is that it needs to have a clear narrative thrust and that means you can't drop the pacing too slow, even if you want to! I love slow paced films and when I'm shooting I'm always tempted to linger on shots for ages but when I'm editing I end up cutting that a lot finer. In your film there's a really lengthy shot of the bed whilst she gets changed. Just cut it! There's nothing interesting there to see. The same applies to some extraneous shots of the park. There's essential information to get across but that gets lost if there's too much filler.

But all in all I thought it was pretty nice. The girl was a decent actress and, as I say, kudos to whoever did you music. :)
 
Thanks for your positive comments.

I could not agree more with you on all of the problems, particulary the lingering shot on the bed, the problem with that was I just didn't think whilst shooting so had nothing to cut too, and I felt like if I just cut it shorter without cutting to something else then the time taken for her to change (although still very short anyway) would not make sense. Also the park shot, I assume you are reffering to the extra long shot? What I inteded to be a simple establishing shot I for some rason felt that it should be longer, not sure why.

I didn't have a DOP, I did everything other then the music, I would have loved to have worked with a DOP but as it is a course requirement I had to work pretty individualy.
 
'sup :cool:

No story. At all. Just throwin' that out there.

What's your next project, and what did you learn from this one? :)
 
Hey.

Sorry but I disagree with you on there being no story, it's just quite subtle. It's about a girl who loses her partner (the guy in the picture) and she's so distraught by this she feels she has to (spoilers) kill herself.

My next project (I'm hoping) is going to be about a teenage girl who has unprotected sex at a party and has to decide whether or not to have an abortion. Like I said in my introduction thread I'm not very good at coming up with narratives.

I've learnt from this one that I need help with the story aspect, that's why my friend is writing it, I need to use some sort of dialogue, I need to look in to cinematography a bit more and that I would like to make something a bit longer.
 
Sorry but I disagree with you on there being no story, it's just quite subtle. It's about a girl who loses her partner (the guy in the picture) and she's so distraught by this she feels she has to (spoilers) kill herself.
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That was the implication. Doesn't make it a story, though.

What was the girl's journey? Struggle? Overcoming the odds? Heck, even losing to the odds!

Girl is sad; kills self. Nu-uh, that doesn't cut it.


Looking foward to the next vid :)
 
I'm with Zen on this.

Also, you know how you can tell that the actor is aware of the camera?

I can tell she has attention on the camera.

I'd also smooth out the camera moves and movement. There are some jerky pans on a tripod I was jolted by.
 
I get what you both mean.

Admitidly I didn't show that whilst on this journey she was deciding whether or not to actually do it, there was one bit on the bridge that I shot of her turning around and walking a few steps before turning back round, but it didn't fit right.

She is probabaly aware of the camera because she isn't an actor, she's just a friend who gave in to peer pressure, and as she isn't an actor I thought she was pretty good.

The camera movements I'm with you on, but as I was using a little sony camcorder which I held with one hand whilst looking at the screen it is a bit difficult to get the camera moving how I would have liked it. Also, it was my first time using a tripod and the one I was using was the girl in the film's Photographic Camera one, so not the most ideal situation.

Thanks for your comments guys.
 
I liked it. I agree with Nick, in that the music was very good. There's not much story, it's more of a situation that just passes by.

One thing that did strike me though, was that you left the sound from the camera in, so there's wind noise and cars driving by. You should've muted this in your editor. It's a silent piece, set to music, so the noise of footsteps and the door closing, etc. wouldn't be missed.

Other than that though, I thought you did a good job!
 
Oh bah I thought you had been doing this for a long time. Sorry for the tough review right out of the gates!

I thought you did a marvelous job for a beginning actor as well as the first time you used that type of camera equipment.

You're going places, kid! Keep making more and more and more and more and more. I'd like to see your next project. Post it up here!
 
Yeah Mad Hatter I get you, the guy who did the music atleast levelled it, I would have got rid of the sound completly but I only used iMovie on the macs at college and I'm not too mac savvy so I didn't know how.

It's fine ROC, your comments are helpful for me to grow into a better filmmaker. Thanks for the encouragement.
 
How about this to modify the story for the audience:

A blurred-out foreground (dof) and we see her walk into a dark room in the background doing something (getting ready to go out, wearing black etc.) and you switch the focus to the foreground which has an obituary or something which tells the audience something bad happens after you introduce her partner?

Then do some more close-ups of her grabbing the rail, etc. I like close-ups when telling a story like this. Think of the scene in Titanic when the woman throws the necklace over the back of the boat.
 
Wow, these are much better ideas then my own. The use of close ups is something I wish I had done more, I think I used like one in the entire thing.

For my next project I'll definitely be using more obvious indicators of what's happening/ happened.
 
Hi There,

Camera work wise I would improve the following:

Pan at 17 seconds and then zoom in on photo at 22 seconds, amend that... Too much camera movement. Also the camera seemed to move at 39 seconds - were you using a tripod?

Other than that, the concept is pretty good. Keep up the good work. I was a media student myself many moons ago (in the days of VHS) and know how hard it can be!!!

I love the score as well BTW!
 
Hey,

For the entire bedroom "scene" I used a tripod, because I wanted to try both tripod and handheld just to get some experience with them both. I liked the pan and zoom, although that's probabaly 'cause I like it when the camera moves although admitidly I may have been a bit over iundulgent.

Thanks for the pleasent comments.
 
My Film Studies teacher told me today that he's entered this for a local competition. Although I'm glad he's entered me I'm not sure whether I have a chanve of doing well. Figured you guys might be interested to know one of your own is competing against other filmmakers.
 
COOL!

That's great news!

Well done!

Being entered by someone on their own origination is a good thing, though! Good luck!
 
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