Ahhh please help!!!

I want to write a 5 to 10 min short about 4 friends who get together to play dominoes every weekend, they just sit around and talk shit, but I need something to happen in the middle, a twist, something crazy, I don't know :( I need serious help, my mind is mush. Please help with any suggestions. :cry: :cry:

thanks truly
MushMind
 

wcmartell

Member
What's the worst that could happen?

Well, if it's your movie, *you* need to figure out what happens. Nobody else can do that - then it would be their movie.

What you have right now is nothing. Nothing.

What you need is a story.

So, what is your film about? Friendship? Rivalry? Trust? Rules of society & games? What is the theme you are trying to explore? Why are you writing this? What's your point?

Once you've figured that out, you'll know what happens in the middle. You will know what kind of event will draw that theme to the surface. Then you take your characters and focus on how theme (and that event) relates to them.

- Bill
 

clive

Member
One of the players turns over the double six and everything goes quiet.

"I thought we took that out of the box."

"I thought you threw it away"

"I did"

"Someone must of put a new one in ..."

"But that means that ..."

"I know what that means"

"It means, somebody knows"



Work the rest out for yourself and good luck.
 

indietalk

IndieTalk Founder
Staff member
Admin
It is night. It's a big money game. They are playing on the sidewalk in front of a bodega in the inner city. The power goes out, and they are forced to play with their lighters. Everyone has an evil look on their face, and everyone is distrusting, since the only actions that can be seen are those directly in front of the lighters. Tensions build, and the they pay no mind to the looters around them in the streets, and inside the bodega. When the lights come on, they finish the game and settle up. The store owner goes inside to start cleaning up the mess. The others retreat to their vandalized cars and say "see you next week".

:)

Just a quick brainstorm.
 
you guys are good! Thanks alot. I think Bill is right. I need to do a little brainstorming myself. I need to put more attention on the characters and less on the plot, let the characters drive the story.

Thanks for all your help :P :P :P
 
Re: Action of front of lighters...

iJack said:
Might make a good story, but I wouldn't want to have to light the shoot!
Light that shoot? ah it's easy! you just take the typical candle on the table scenario. You have the lighters as practicals (awful practicals at that), then you key the light from below the actors with cto filters, the low uplight will give them the sinister look... then pin spot/snoot the actors hands who's holding the lighter to increase the pseudo from the lighter... then back light moonlight with 1/4 ctb. and a bit of front fill to lower the contrast on the key! á 'Shabaam' your scene est lighté!
 
E

ericbelgau

Guest
One of them tells the others he likes to cross dress on the weekends.
 

clive

Member
One of them tells the others he likes to cross dress on the weekends.

Yeah, that might work, but only if the other three then admit that they like to cross dress through the week and, in fact, they are all women.
 
E

ericbelgau

Guest
It could end with a song-and-dance shower scene.

I love it.
 

clive

Member
Only if the shower dissolves into a huge Busby Berkley water feature with them all floating on huge dominos ...

I love it too
 
E

ericbelgau

Guest
All right. I think we've got something here.

The short opens with four guys sitting around playing Dominoes and talking shit - various topics, jumping around, sports, politics, religion, someone says he thinks the wardrobe of religious leaders (all sects) is kind of fruity, another guy says that's all right, he likes to dress up in drag on the weekends. He gets some shit until another guy admits he's wearing his wife's underwear and offers to model it. In the critique of the cut it comes out they're all cross-dressers. PULLING BACK from the table we discover that the scene is set in the bottom of a swimming pool. Suddenly, shower faucets come out of nowhere and they break into song

"I started wearing panties
when I visited my autie
when I was just a boy.
And now I must confess
that when I'm putting on a dress
it brings me joy!"

Etc.

The swimming pool starts filling with water and bubbles, and it turns out the dominoes expand when they touch water, and they become raft-size. The song-and-dance continues:

"rub-a-dub
four queens in a tub
it's possible that we could drown!
but if we survive
then we'll all be alive
for a wonderful night on the town!"

They start dancing on the dominoes, and they fall off into the water and bubbles. We convert to underwater photography (because that's cheap, right?), and your penguin appears. It becomes a Giraffe-measuring synchronized swimming scene. Suddenly we dissolve to:

The moment before the guy admitted that he liked to cross-dress on the weekends. Instead of that line, he says: "Yeah. Kinda fruity."
 

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