watch AD2478's Short Film

[ad2478]

Dear friend hi. As you know i had joined the Arts college for filmmaking . Me and my
friends have made a short film of 10 minutes . It was a project of NCA (National college of Arts). I want you to see and comment on it. Me and my friend Saad worked hard on framing, camera shots, angles etc.

NOTE:

Kindly keep one thing in mind while commentin that we had problems with sound as we didnt had the sound recording equipments neither we had any info about how to handle it. We havent read anything about it. More over the assignment was assigned by the teacher who is teaching shot by shot filming. SO sound atleast while marking will not be considered..

You can also comment on our actings. I am playing the role of head servant who was the

first one who got killed.


The link is
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_IwCfnPuiaU

 

[directorik]

It's a nice first effort.

As you know know, audio is half of the experience. When the audio
is poor it takes away from the total enjoyment of the movie. It
surprises me that a school teaching filmmaking would allow
students to make a movie without the proper audio equipment. But
it seems most do - including yours.

The acting was poor but that's okay. First films usually don't
have good actors. When your actors weren’t speaking, they were
quite natural - they seemed comfortable in front of the camera.

Since you chose to use only natural light the entire movie looks
flat. But I suspect that lighting will be in the next lesson,
right?

The story moves too slowly. Good pacing is important for building
suspense - this movies was paced exactly the same for the entire
running time. No variations at all. Because of the, the good
scenes (like when the guy drinks from the glass) are less
effective.

I liked the chess analogy, but you didn’t really pay it off. I
didn’t understand what he was looking for or what it was he
found.

I think you did well on framing, camera shots, angles etc - next
time you need to work on lighting and sound. And then you need a
good story and good actors.

 

[Spatula]

I can pretty much say Directorik summed up everything you should work on, but might as well add my slant... putting it in the context of "first short" I quite enjoyed it! For some reason I have the innate ability to tune past technical flaws and "suspend my disbelief" which is why Jean Claude Van Damme and Schwarzenegger are awesome, but I'm not the best reading for general audiences... but I did honestly enjoy this movie! So good job!

That being said, here's the critique.

Audio - obviously. You should have just redubbed the whole thing in a small, quiet room and it would have sounded better. For my first short, I decided to redub all the voices myself because the camera audio sucked and lo and behold, it turned out to be the best part of the whole sandwich. So even if you don't have gear, you can still get creative to make it tolerable, somehow. Dubbing could have worked well in this- and the close-up shots of the guy's eyes and feet and stuff looked much more crisp than the wideshots as far as video. Again, you're limited, so make the best of it, but there were some good shots in there.... oh, and at one point the music cuts suddenly, when it sounded more like it should have faded out into the next song... I liked the music choices though, it really helped create the atmosphere.
AND, Video/Editing - For the most part not bad, and certainly good for a first short film. Would like to see some lighting and set dressings used to aid the story, but again, first time, not bad. Some shots held too long and the pacing was really slow, but for the most part I liked the tense shots- the guy standing against the wall as the other guy call's his servant.... amazing. You'll be surprised that every time you go back to an editing time-line you always find some little sliver you can cut out... you could probably shave a minute or two out of there. Acting was decent enough to get it across, but the sound and lighting really didn't help that either.

All in all, a great first attempt! I look forward to seeing more stuff! Just keep working out the kinks and learning as you go! Good luck!

 

[ad2478]

Thanks a lot for the comments. So i have got some questions and some answers. First i will reply to the questions of Directorik

As Directorik said:
It surprises me that a school teaching filmmaking would allow
students to make a movie without the proper audio equipment. But
it seems most do - including yours

Well the answer is that the teacher who gave the assignment is not a sound recording teacher. More over our module with an Sound expert wil start after this week. The guy who will teach us sound stuff has done Mphil from France in sound engineering.

As Directorik said:
It surprises me that a school teaching filmmaking would allow
students to make a movie without the proper audio equipment. But
it seems most do - including yours

Well the answer is that the teacher who gave the assignment is not a sound recording teacher. More over our module with an Sound expert wil start after this week. The guy who will teach us sound stuff has done Mphil from France in sound engineering.

As Directorik said:
But I suspect that lighting will be in the next lesson,
right?

The answer is Yes our DOP module has started now.

As Directorik said:
The story moves too slowly

Well I thought the movie is going with normal pace. Can you please guide me a little please that how we could have increased the pace? What more should i have added to it?

As Directorik Said:
No variations at all. Because of the, the good
scenes (like when the guy drinks from the glass) are less
effective.

Can you explain what you exactly mean? As far as i have understood. You mean that the scene like where the guy was having water, these scenes are good but due to other factors creating less impression. AM i right?

As Directorik Said:
I liked the chess analogy, but you didn’t really pay it off. I
didn’t understand what he was looking for or what it was he
found.

Kindly guide me how could i have made the chess game effective? As you said that i didnt paid it off. More over we didnt wanted to show what is the guy searching for. Just wanted to keep it ahidden factor.

Directorik
Sorry for asking so many questions. I know sometimes i take out all the mind juices from GURUS

And i have filmed one more video. It is a music video. This video will also have lightin issues becaue this time 90% of the shooting was outdoor. Secondly we dont have the equipments for lighting. I have advised my friend to make our own reflectors etc to support ourself in lighting department.

Spatula

Thanks a lot for pointing out the important elements.

And thanks to both of you for telling me the mistakes. I hope you people will answer my above mentioned questions and will help increasing my knowledge.

 

[directorik]

I'm not a very good teacher. Most of your questions would
be better answered by your teacher.

What I mean by pacing is all your shots have the same, long,
slow timing to them. As you say, you thought your movie
was going at a normal pace. You are right. Everything seemed
about the same - normal if you will. I felt that changing the
pace would make the slow scenes more effective. Having all
the scenes slow weakens the tension.

You didn't want to show what the guy is searching for. I
understand that. Because I didn't understand what he was looking
for I felt the story didn't pay off. Sometimes leaving the ending
unknowable or unanswered is terrific, but there needs to be a reason
of an open ended ending. I didn't see one in your movie.

And you misunderstood me - I didn't say the chess game wasn't
effective so I can't offer any advice on that. I said I liked the chess
analogy, but you didn’t really pay it off. There was no resolution
after the set up.

 

[ad2478]

Thanks a Trilion Directorik. Your reply has made things more clear. Thanks a lot. Now waiting for more people to comment

By the way this Thursday the short film will get screened in our college infront of our teacher and our group. Lets see what happens.

Regards

 

[ad2478]

Till now 112 people have seen the movie. As it is shown on youtube view 112. I am thanksful to all of you for taking out your time for my short film.

Thanks a lot

 

[ad2478]

198 views..........WOW..........