archived-videos A Race Against Time - The Sharla Butler Story

Just started watching it.

The first 2 and a half minutes is shots of a school and credits of people we don't know. After the storm, you have images with a Kens Burn effect on them put to the royalty-free track "Lone Harvest". The first five minutes of the film seems kind of pointless. You could have just started the film with the title, written and directed by, and maybe the main cast playing over Sharla running for the first time. It keeps the story moving and the audience's attention.

I think you would benefit greatly with a composer and a good audio person with the right gear. The audio is pretty bad, especially the scene starting at 5:12, and you are constantly using recognizable royalty-free music.

There are plenty of audio people and composers on this forum that are willing to work for cheap/nothing. Also, here are some tutorials/helpful videos/articles.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEq5T8fJarM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bn1y_6DcsJk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brStDyPNI7w
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEq5T8fJarM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0rHak6aJl8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXWnCv_VUos
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YZoYwkLsWk

http://filmmakeriq.com/2011/04/22-diy-dslr-camera-rigs/

The film is slow, and the dialogue is often boring and unrealistic. Instead of writing it yourself, you should have hired a professional screenwriter.

Those widescreen bars seem to be cutting off the top of people's heads. Maybe next time you should put tape on your camera's monitor/LCD screen so that you know what will be cut off when you put widescreen bars in during post.

Also, too many still tripod shots. I think the film would have been much better and more exciting with some movement. Not handheld found footage type (which there was some in there), smooth moving shots. The only one that I really noticed was around 12:48. More shots like that would have been nice. Money isn't an excuse, there are cheap rigs and DIY tutorials.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qn9htcBCpJM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOVswSEXsYk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nAC6ztIUbQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBxKTZu6F4o
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EvPHSd4zjZg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ILlNjfqc3E
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pa9qsy3i2Es
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qT72hoYxESI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jUlbgcYTQY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZtlSVgG1h8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3Z7vcSaPNk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxlvULNwlpU

And of course you could always do more interesting things with your tripod:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWKYpN8Psbg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JW6AWmqa8ZM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohpLsCq12Nw

Also, lots of scenes open with shots of ducks, paintings of tigers, etc. It felt like a TV show.

I'm sorry, I can't keep watching. It's slow and the characters are uninteresting. The audio is bad, the cinematography isn't very good, and 80% of what I've seen could be cut out. I have a feeling your film could be edited down to 20-30 minutes.

I'm sorry, but your film needs some major improvements :(
 
It's a indie, not a hundred and fifty million dollar studio production. It's done well over the past couple of years on amazon, check out the reviews. As a matter of fact yours is the first bad one anywhere. It was the first indie allowed in a Cinemark theater without a rating. Yes we had a few audio problems early but ironed them out as we progressed. Couldn't get anyone on board with the bucks. And in the theater the entire audience was crying aloud throughout the theater, because it builds to a dramatic and emotional ending, albeit slowly. People are forgiving and understand that we make these with chump change. Most of the music is not royalty free and licenses were purchased for 90 percent of it from productiontrax. My writing got me a writer's guild signatory agent and I hsve written for major newspapers. I'm not a young kid I've been around the block. You sound like the teenager who knows everythign but in reality, knows nothing.
Oh, and there was a steadicam used, you can't recognize the shots.
 
Last edited:
Maurice said:
It's a indie, not a hundred and fifty million dollar studio production.
Click to expand...

You will never have enough budget.


It's done well over the past couple of years on amazon, check out the reviews. As a matter of fact yours is the first bad one anywhere. It was the first indie allowed in a Cinemark theater without a rating. Yes we had a few audio problems early but ironed them out as we progressed. Couldn't get anyone on board with the bucks. And in the theater the entire audience was crying aloud throughout the theater, because it builds to a dramatic and emotional ending, albeit slowly. People are forgiving and understand that we make these with chump change. Most of the music is not royalty free and licenses were purchased for 90 percent of it from productiontrax.
Click to expand...

If you don't want feedback, see if you can get this into Promotions section of the forum. Virtually everything in here gets critiqued; filmmakers looking to deconstruct & analyze what works & what doesn't. Not intended for a passive audience.

Good luck with your film :)
 
Maurice said:
My writing got me a writer's guild signatory agent and I hsve written for major newspapers. I'm not a young kid I've been around the block. You sound like the teenager who knows everythign but in reality, knows nothing.
Oh, and there was a steadicam used, you can't recognize the shots.
Click to expand...

You really don't like feedback, I guess, tacking that on for good measure. :)
 
Just to start off, I now know that this was made a few years ago, before you knew how to make/were able to buy the products and DIY gear that I posted links to and videos.

Maurice said:
It's a indie, not a hundred and fifty million dollar studio production. It's done well over the past couple of years on amazon, check out the reviews.
Click to expand...

That great, but I'm still allowed to have an opinion.

Also, the videos I had posted are for indie filmmakers, not million dollar productions. A film being low-budget is not an excuse for poor audio and camera movement.

As a matter of fact yours is the first bad one anywhere. It was the first indie allowed in a Cinemark theater without a rating. Yes we had a few audio problems early but ironed them out as we progressed. Couldn't get anyone on board with the bucks. And in the theater the entire audience was crying aloud throughout the theater, because it builds to a dramatic and emotional ending, albeit slowly. People are forgiving and understand that we make these with chump change. Most of the music is not royalty free and licenses were purchased for 90 percent of it from productiontrax.
Click to expand...

I didn't get to the dramatic part that you said got people emotional and crying. The first fifteen minutes was incredibly hard to watch and I gave up. When a film loses realism, I am immediately taken out of the story and don't feel as much for the characters.

Also, you said "most of the music" is not royalty free. I didn't say all of it was royalty-free, I said that I recognized some of the tracks, which bothered me.

I'm not sure if you're mad or not about me disliking it. I feel like you're bothered that I was the first one to dislike it.

Also, how do you know that everyone liked it?

I just wanted to critique it honestly. You seem to be annoyed I'm telling you what I really think. I'm not going to sugar coat it and tell you "It's amazing!".
 
Maurice said:
I'm not a young kid I've been around the block.
Click to expand...

So? The older you are does not mean the more talented you are. Orson Welles was in his 20's when he made Citizen Kane.

You sound like the teenager who knows everythign but in reality, knows nothing. Oh, and there was a steadicam used, you can't recognize the shots.
Click to expand...

I was just trying to give you feedback. It's IndieTalk. If you don't want feedback and critique, post your film in the promotional section, like Zensteve said.

I'm allowed to talk. That is what we do here. I want to give you honest feedback on how you could improve as a filmmaker. I like to be honest and not sugar-coat things. Me giving my opinion and trying to help you by posting informative videos shouldn't make me a "teenager who think he knows everything".

Also, I don't really see any steadicam shots. There were lots of tripod and cheap handheld looking shots. If those really shaky shots were shot with a steadicam, then you must not have been using it right.

It sounds like you are mad that I did not cry and love your film like everyone else did. If you don't want to hear my opinions, then I'll leave. But in the future, you should be more open to people critiquing your work. All good filmmakers have accepted criticism, and I find it a sign of immaturity if you can't.

Bye.
 
Most people don't expect to be entertained during the credits. that was my appreciation to a low paid cast and at the screening they very much appreciated it. That is over and people are usually just getting settled in good in that couple of minutes. The black bars are not in the original, I was simply experimenting on youtube and got them off a little. Yes I needed a dedicated audio person as I said. I didn't say you weren't being honest, but understand this, I had people on my job telling me I couldn't be a writer because I didn't have a college education or this or that. Too bad they didn't know I had just come back to work after a fruitful meeting with a noted major newspaper editor. I have no problem with constructive criticism, But, I've learned to take with a grain of salt the "expert opinions".
 
Maurice said:
Most people don't expect to be entertained during the credits.
Click to expand...

The audience should be interested in some way. You can have the credits rolling while the story begins.

but understand this, I had people on my job telling me I couldn't be a writer because I didn't have a college education or this or that. Too bad they didn't know I had just come back to work after a fruitful meeting with a noted major newspaper editor.
Click to expand...

So? When I was reviewing your film, I had no idea what kind of films you have made before, or your education. That was an unbiased critique without knowledge of your past. I don't care if you were buddies with Steven Spielberg, or went to the top films schools in the world, or if you grew up on the streets in a cardboard box. I don't understand the point of the story you posted above.

I have no problem with constructive criticism
Click to expand...

:lol: :lol:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfK804n1D7M
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GxY559Qfbc

:lol: :lol:

Really? You called me a teenager who doesn't know anything, and told me I'm the only one who has ever disliked it.


But, I've learned to take with a grain of salt the "expert opinions".
Click to expand...

Who said they were an expert?
 
Now I've got youtube telling me I have third party music problem and I paid for the license but they show the composer as a different person but it's the same music I licensed. Probably a lot of people stealing property and selling it under a different title and author's name. I sent them my paperwork and I am disputing it.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top