archived-videos A Moment (Film Noir Short)

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indieshooter

"A Moment"

https://vimeo.com/51371077

What general feedback I've had has focused exclusively on story elements in the 3rd act, which I admit could be a lot cleaner, but I'm struggling for notes on the other elements, acting, pacing, mood, cinematography etc. It's been all about Act 3...

I'm also very curious to know what mood the film creates, if any? If you have a spare 9 minutes, let me know. Thanks in advance!

Technical Specs:
4 Days. Las Vegas, NV. Budget. $400. HVX200 & Letus adapter, Canon 5D MK2. All editing and color in fcp7
 
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Generally, I like where the film is trying to go. I just can't follow it.

What's the significance of the stitches on her forehead? How does she appear together with the man towards the end? Who was trying to find the boy? I'm just not able to piece all this together.
 
Well first of all Zensteve thanks for your comment, sending good film-making vibes your way!

I agree, too much story at the end which was sadly a side effect of not wanting to have the usual ambiguous ending or to use routine flashback sequences, unfortunately it seems not enough of the dots connect and we stumble into ambiguity overload. It's a shame because I feel all the pieces were there, the tone, the style etc. (i hope so anyway...) Oh well, lesson learned.

Breakdown -

-She saw the boy in her mind and identified with him. Sensing he was in danger, she immediately searched for him hoping to save him in time.

-While desperately searching she comes across the 'missing woman' and chooses in that moment between them. She makes that choice. For comic book nerds, it is the equivalent of Spiderman allowing Uncle Bens killer to escape. The image of the boy represents this mistake.

In this chapter the 'hero' is still growing up and learning that staying human is the hardest part of the job.

Thanks for watching!

PS. The stitches are a long story...
 
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