A Few Last Questions:

[Birdman]

Okay, I've reduced my screenplay down to 117 pages from 125. I've re-written much of it and am fairly happy with the results. I have just a few last questions before I wrap it all up.

CAPITALIZATION:

(1) This is a SciFi Adventure. Do I capitalize the names of areas on my starship (i.e., Engineering, Medical Lab 4, Bridge, Transporter Room)?

(2) Titles and Ranks. I know that if I write, "I am Captain Birdman." the C gets capitalized and if I write, "We have a new captain aboard our ship" the C is lower-case... But what if someone writes, "Hey, Captain, look over there!" -or- "Birdman is our Captain"... What then?

MOVIE RATING:

(1) To get my movie to a (PG-13) rating I would have to cut the living soul out of it. However, should I choose to do so, how many "fucks" and "shits" am I allowed to use? Tons of violence, but that doesn't seem to be as much of an issue from what I've researched.

(2) I have a character who drops her top and mounts a protagonist. Does a steamy wild ride on my protagonist by a boobs-only babe toss me in to (R) rating category?

EXPOSITION - "ON THE NOSE" DIALOGUE:

I recently watched "Sin City". Mickey Rourke's character "Marv" sits bound in a chair getting pistol-whipped by a hot, leather-clad chic. There are several chics in the room along with Marv. He takes numerous whacks to his face. He finally gets frustrated and stands up. The ropes fall from his body like they weren't even tied. He had secretly untied them while she was whacking away on him. One of the girls sees the ropes fall and says the following:

What the hell? I tied those knots myself! That's my specialty!
You sat there and took it,

Now, everyone in that room already knew she tied those knots. They were all there when she did it. It doesn't matter that it's her specialty or not - Who the hell cares? And they OBVIOUSLY know he sat there and took it. They stood there and watched him!

I consider this to be a clear case of GRADE-ONE "On-the-nose" Exposition ...yet I'm watching it displayed in a multi-million dollar movie spectacular by the all-knowing Quentin Tarantino who everyone declares the god of the modern screenplay.

Now, fast forward to MY screenplay.

I have a 6-person team of crash scene investigators who converge on a downed spacecraft near a lake. They're all looking around the crash area for clues. I have one of the team members find some tire tracks near the scene. The character shouts over to the other team members near the craft:

"I've got tire tracks over here!"

My script analyst guy literally blasted me for this calling it "On-the-nose" dialogue. It's not like they were all standing around the damned tire tracks, ya know?

If a group of people were searching for a lost girl and one of the people finds her shoe... Is it "On-the-nose" dialogue if he shouts out: "Hey, over here! I found her shoe!"?



(1) So is what I did technically "on the nose" dialogue or not? If it is, then why is it allowed and even celebrated in "Sin City"?


I swear this is one seriously fucked-up industry.

-Birdman

 

[trueindie]

Trueindie,

It's interesting that much of this is about "Dialogue" as in "people talking to each other" ...because I don't think you read a single word of any of my responses. If you did, you would not have written what you just did.

-Birdman

Birdman... dude.. you're nuts.

But I'm going to stop reading right now. I don't think I'm helping.

 

[rayw]

When I'm acting, the director often gives us discretion to change the dialogue to make it feel natural for the scene. The director will give me the script, I will learn the lines. When actually in the shoot, if the dialogue feels wrong or is awkward, the director may give some suggestions or I may put out my own ideas. As the actor, I'm interpreting dialogue. I'm telling you this because if you keep worrying about getting the dialogue right, you're misspending your efforts. Dialogue helps me to get a sense of my character. My role as an actor is to take the words and actions and make them believable.

I just watched the DVD extras for 'Captain Phillips' and what you just described here is exactly the process described by the director Paul Greengrass, Tom Hanks, and other cast and crew.

(Currently hunting down the shooting script which apparently differs considerably from the original 2010 draft by Billy Ray)

Good bones.

Birdman... dude.. you're nuts.

I hope his screenplay has this much enthusiasm and passion in it!

 

[Birdman]

I hope his screenplay has this much enthusiasm and passion in it!

...When your argument is that there isn't a clear set of rules for people to go by and someone responds with, "Look, if you want to go by the rules, then do it"....How else can you respond?



Thanks FantasySciFi for the excellent feedback. I'm still processing everything you wrote.

-Birdman

 

[rayw]

...When your argument is that there isn't a clear set of rules for people to go by and someone responds with, "Look, if you want to go by the rules, then do it"....How else can you respond?

With some more experience and time your perspective can change.

You've stuck with your feature length screenplay's first and second rough drafts, sought sound counsel from family, friends, the spec screenwriting community, and (dubious) paid review services.
You've been through a lot and it's just the beginning.
And you're still raging against the machine, for better or worse.

You're in a transition period, IMHO, as your mind fervently tries to reconcile conflicting information.
Believe me, I think many of us who've alreay been-there-done-that do empathise with your justified frustration.

How else can you respond?
By just saying "F#ckit." In a good and healthy way, not a nasty ugly way.
You just do the best you can, do what you can, give what you got, and move on.
If what you got is what they want - GREAT!
If not - Whatever.

Not all strippers bring home the same paycheck.
They gots what they gots, customers gots what they gots.
Same scenario.
You could be the right stripper doing the right dance in the right club on the right night, but your shift ended a half hour before the right guy showed up with his lottery winnings stuffed in his pockets.
Them's the breaks, kiddo.
Deal.

Don't put all your emotional eggs in this one basket.

Start shopping for an agent to shop your screenplay to prodcos while it's on the contest circuit.

Then start roughing out your next three screenplays or a couple sequels to this one.

THAT's how you can respond.

One-and-done ain't happening.

 

[dandavis]

nice replies on this thread.
kudos to everyone!

 

[dandavis]

Theatrically released feature films annually: 510.
http://www.worldcitiescultureforum.com/indicators/number-films-given-theatrical-release-country-year

"Los Angeles 510 2012 **************/Nash Information Services"​

Spec screenplays in play at any given time: 250,000.
http://www.screenwriterunknown.com/screenwriting-observations/odds-of-selling-a-spec-screenplay

"50,000 spec screenplays written every year multiplied by 5 years in circulation = 250,000 spec screenplays."​

Spec screenplays purchased annually: 126, 3yr avg.
https://www.specscout.com/2013specsales

"The 114th spec sale, made by Jeff Ross, caps off a year that found itself 18 shy of numbers reached in both 2011 and 2012."​

However, 126 three-year-average spec screenplays per 250,000 in the circulation pool = 1/1984 opportunity any one given spec screenplay will be bought.
Then consider how many screenplays die in development hell and will never be seen.

Versus...

3/4 of theatrically released films are by writer-directors.


Guess why I hang out at Indietalk?
Trying to make my miracle happen.


Try to write something for Universal or WB!
http://gointothestory.blcklst.com/2014/01/2013-spec-script-sales-analysis-buyers.html

Wow, this is really an eye opener!

 

[odd1out]

raywNot all strippers bring home the same paycheck.
They gots what they gots, customers gots what they gots.
Same scenario.
You could be the right stripper doing the right dance in the right club on the right night, but your shift ended a half hour before the right guy showed up with his lottery winnings stuffed in his pockets.
Them's the breaks, kiddo.
Deal.

Nice analogy

 

[rayw]

(Currently hunting down the shooting script which apparently differs considerably from the original 2010 draft by Billy Ray)

Good bones.

Found it: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B8Bznn8D13zOUGJRR0t4VHVnQlk/edit?usp=sharing

Bones, BMan.
Bones.