critique 3 page absurd comedy on retail investment

[Ampersander]

Hi, I'm new so let me know if I get something wrong

I wrote a 3 page surreal comedy script about online retail investment inspired by Mr. Bean old classics like Charlie Chaplin.

I'm looking for some reactions by experienced readers, but of course I'm glad for anyone else to have a read and tell me what they think too.

I'm writing for a while now, so don't worry about feelings, I need the raw data

 

[FlintRat]

If you want to keep it surreal. You could have him have fictional relationships with: scam princes from Congo, a cam girl, advertisements people, a old death celebrity from the 50's. You could even have conversations with objects in his apartment.

I second all of this!

 

[Ampersander]

If you want to keep it surreal. You could have him have fictional relationships with: scam princes from Congo, a cam girl, advertisements people, a old death celebrity from the 50's. You could even have conversations with objects in his apartment.

Yeah, I've been waiting for an opportunity to make the prince of Nigeria a real thing. Believe it or not, I worked for a year as manager in a charity shop in London, and one of the local "celebrities", a tall African guy who always wears head headphones, sunglasses and a hat, would start arguments with people, then tell them that he is the king of Nigeria. One time I saw him ride on a BMX into a big cross road, making a car slam the breaks, then he flipped off the driver for honking. Anyway, I love the idea of taking spam seriously^^

 

[Drowynaut55]

Hi, I'm new so let me know if I get something wrong

I wrote a 3 page surreal comedy script about online retail investment inspired by Mr. Bean old classics like Charlie Chaplin.

I'm looking for some reactions by experienced readers, but of course I'm glad for anyone else to have a read and tell me what they think too.

I'm writing for a while now, so don't worry about feelings, I need the raw data

Would you allow me to make a short film about this during the corona virus. Email me at drowynaut55@gmail.com.

 

[Ampersander]

Would you allow me to make a short film about this during the corona virus. Email me at drowynaut55@gmail.com.

Probably not this one, but check your emails

 

[Drowynaut55]

Probably not this one, but check your emails

Cool, I think you have an interesting story here that could become a great film.