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watch 1min sad film ...criticism section

licenseless

licenseless

I didnt want to take away from the competition thread BUT... i really wanted everyone to discuss the videos more... in hopes for my own gain (of course) but to also shed light on what we (as contestants) are doing right or wrong in our videos...


if any of the other contestants want to post your videos in here too for criticism... please don't hesitate to


first off... i'm sorry about the loss of the top part of my head... as you can see in the video ... i have no brain :lol:

so of course it shows in the video hahahahhah i have a mohawk and i am not allowed to go to work with out a hat on... its a deal i made with my boss so i could have a mohawk... but as it turns out... 99.8 percent of the time i wear the damn hat now hahahahaha and it is such a part of me i forget to take it off... and if i had my beanie on or my white or blue hat this would have never happened... but... as you can see... i am absent headed in the video

now with out any more wait... please view and tell me what you would change... or what you think i should do differently...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KX-s6IZdh8



please dont try and hold back as to sound polite... i have thick skin... i want everything you can think of that i did wrong...

these are the things i think i did wrong... am i write or wrong at them

1. i should have had two side light sources instead of the one front light
2. the damn hat hahahahahah
3. there are a few times were you can see a small flash of light in the back ground... i should have tin foiled over the windows instead of just double curtains.
4. there are times were the crying seems to be to much... maybe i should have pulled it back some
5. i like tacos... so i am a fat bastard and i dont look pleasant in front of the camera hahahahahahahaha
 
Framing is an issue IMO. Closeups would have helped you can even cut off the top of the head in the shot.. Needed camera movement ( even if a static shot you can pan and zoom a little in the editor ) 3 point lighting would have helped.









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licenseless said:
please dont try and hold back as to sound polite... i have thick skin... i want everything you can think of that i did wrong...
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Okay, you asked for it.

So, the challenge was for acting/directing. I'm assuming you chose acting, correct? Your screenplay completely killed the project, right off the bat. Is this a monologue? No, it's a one-man-show, with two parts, and 100% exposition. And that takes me out of it. Could've been better if it was just a straight monologue.

As far as acting was concerned, there were a couple of brief moments when I felt like your emotions were genuine. And as quickly as those moments came, they were wiped out by a wonky edit, and ridiculous dialog. The non-stop jump-cut edits practically caused me a headache.

I'm not an acting coach, so I can't give you advice on what methods to practice; all I can tell you is that I wasn't feeling it. It felt forced and disengenuine. I'm sorry to deliver such a harsh review, but you did ask for honesty, no?

The good news is that it doesn't take a lifetime to become a good actor. There are classes, and coaches, and you keep practicing, and practicing. I think Jamie Foxx is the best example of this. Watch his early work, on "In Living Colour", then watch him in "Ray" and "The Soloist". What a brilliant transformation.

So, anyway, I just mean to say that my honest review is not intended to tell you to stop, but to keep pushing forward. Cheers!
 
Cracker Funk said:
They have tacos in Japan?!
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yes sir.... KING TACOS is the bomb hahahahahahah taco rice is even better hahahahahah plus me and the wife are from texas hahahahah so we make tacos and enchiladas all the damn time hahahah i have a killer cheese dip... and a bad ass guacamole


honestly thats the kind of criticism i needed...

mainly because i was even saying this was going to be really difficult to cut down to just 1 minute... i feel that 2 minutes would have been much better for editing sakes... and this tells me i might be on the right track...

i just didnt feel like there was enough time when i was editing... this was a full one man show... so there was no way to really control the camera while editing... because the remote i have is a piece of crap hahahahahah but thank you for kicking common sence into me indie budget hahahah i fail

how would i have done 3 point lighting... 2 up front and one right behind me a little off center? similar to studio photography shots?

so... to the meat and cheese of this...

i will admit that is pure geniune tears on those shots... unfortunetly this is a real situation i delt with...and i am still dealing with... i honestly dont have a pretty cry... hahahahah i am not good at emotions... and this took me telling the wife and kid to go find something to do... and i cant watch it ... honestly... i cant... i feel like the biggest sap on earth at times because of this... but my one and only child is and was worth it... i would like to post one of the attempts online so you guys can laugh at what i sound like trying to talk while crying hahahahahahahahahaha

you know when a kid is in trouble and hes crying, and parents are trying to get him to talk them with out crying, because they cant understand a damn thing he says when hes crying... hahahahah yeah thats me hahahahahahahaha even as a grown up... so i think that i am to emotionally attached. it almost looks like i am doing to much... thats just me... i can joke about it... because thats how i handle stress... i laugh... but since we are on the topic of my poor acting hahahahahahahahhahahahahah (which i have never done acting so i am by no means offended cracker)... do you know of any thing to help with acting online or books i can read... or possible anything in the maryland area (because i just got an email saying that am about 99.9 percent hired... just have to wait for the government to approve me hahahahahahah)

ALSO... (not to sound like i am making excuses... but being honest) it had a much better ending... but because of the time limit i was constrained...i feel it could have been better if i had another minute... you your self stated that there were times when it felt genuine but because of the editing it took the feeling from ya... which makes me wish i did not use this for the 1min wheatgrinders... and maybe i will go threw and use some of the ideas you guys told me about and apply it to this same thing... and try and make a 2 or 3 minute version to see if i am learning anything

THANK YOU GUYS A SHIT LOAD...

cant say it enough... this is why i got on this site... for help... and lots of it hahahahaha... i feel i have good if not great ideas... i just have no real experience applying it... and i am wanting to learn enough before i am done with filming my own docu-comedy... so that when i go to edit if there is anything i feel needs to change i can do a re-shoot before i leave japan...

stankyou

indie budget... i enjoyed your clip... it was more FREAKING CRAZY than sad to me... i almost expected her to be cleaning blood out of her finger nails before the minute was up... WOW... a bit crazy hahahahahah i enjoyed it
 
ditto on all the above

So, anyway, I just mean to say that my honest review is not intended to tell you to stop, but to keep pushing forward. Cheers!
Click to expand...

Cracker, these are my EXACT sentiments for this thread, this board, and every other thread, although I'm afraid such honesty can often come off as "You don't know what you're doing. You suck. Give it up!"

licenseless, I'm glad your thin is thick and are OK with getting these sort of reactions. Kudos to you. Too often people post stuff here and get all butt-hurt when no one understands the film -- their VISION!! -- or just aren't into the material. I applaud you for taking it on the chin and moving on.

Next time, put your "thinking cap" on (hah hah) and make something that LOOKS and PLAYS like a real movie, not simply a guy with a light in his face. This will be far more engaging and pull the audience into your story, because we know you have them to tell.

As always, everyone should make the movies they want. Period. Whether that means they will entertain or enrich the world at large is another argument altogether. Doesn't matter. If you're making movies the way you (that's the general you, not you you) want to and are pleased with the results, oh happy day. But if the goal is to win the general audience over, there's a lot of groundwork to cover before that happens. But it's definitely worth trying.

Keep at it, dude. We want to see more :)
 
Flicker Pictures said:
ditto on all the above



Cracker, these are my EXACT sentiments for this thread, this board, and every other thread, although I'm afraid such honesty can often come off as "You don't know what you're doing. You suck. Give it up!"

licenseless, I'm glad your thin is thick and are OK with getting these sort of reactions. Kudos to you. Too often people post stuff here and get all butt-hurt when no one understands the film -- their VISION!! -- or just aren't into the material. I applaud you for taking it on the chin and moving on.

Next time, put your "thinking cap" on (hah hah) and make something that LOOKS and PLAYS like a real movie, not simply a guy with a light in his face. This will be far more engaging and pull the audience into your story, because we know you have them to tell.

As always, everyone should make the movies they want. Period. Whether that means they will entertain or enrich the world at large is another argument altogether. Doesn't matter. If you're making movies the way you (that's the general you, not you you) want to and are pleased with the results, oh happy day. But if the goal is to win the general audience over, there's a lot of groundwork to cover before that happens. But it's definitely worth trying.

Keep at it, dude. We want to see more :)
Click to expand...

bleh... i dont care what people think of what i do... i just want to hear how the feel about it... caring and listening are two different things... if i listen to 7 people say something... and 6 tell me... DONT CHANGE ANYTHING... and 1 tells me... YOU SUCK... guess what im going to do... hahahahahahahahaha

but if everyone tells me i need to tweak this and tweak that... and only one person tells me its good... then i know i need to tweak shit...

criticism is what you make of it... but... I NEED IT... i have no experience with this other than what i have done on my own with out help...

so... on that note...

ill critique yours if you critique mine... sounds almost ... gay hahahahahahahaahahh

bust seriously... with your video...

the speaker on the answering machine... to me... was too loud... and created static... and the guy on the phone was to hard to hear... but... the message... was a pretty good dark comedy... in my eyes...

i kinda felt bad for laughing a little... hahahahahah its was definetly well shot and directed... i liked the coming over the top shot when the answering machine first goes off... and then sound of the head hitting the desk while looking at the answering machine... and then a pan to you and your head is down... pretty good...

i also think your shots are very crisp... what camera are you using?
 
Changing your shorts? heh heh...

I'm not following... we're talking about your 1-minute clip, right? I'd say it's got a frame around it, it's done, time to shoot something new.

What sort of camera are you using? What sort of films are you interested in making? What type of stories are you interested in telling?

Maybe check out some old films and see how they did it. I'm no expert. Just get out there and experiment. Consider what Cracker and IndieBudget wrote above. It's good advice.

Does this help?
 
Flicker Pictures said:
Changing your shorts? heh heh...

I'm not following... we're talking about your 1-minute clip, right? I'd say it's got a frame around it, it's done, time to shoot something new.

What sort of camera are you using? What sort of films are you interested in making? What type of stories are you interested in telling?

Maybe check out some old films and see how they did it. I'm no expert. Just get out there and experiment. Consider what Cracker and IndieBudget wrote above. It's good advice.

Does this help?
Click to expand...

oh im not going to change it... i think it sucks just right hahahahahahah

i am just curious if there is something you suggest i do different... because i can think about things the next time i have a similar situation... i am always thirsty for knowledge... i think it comes with the job field im in... i need to always be learning to keep current...

i just crave input i guess... i am a satcom engineer... and we are known for our over analyzing... so i guess thats just me wanting some more feedback to fix it as well as use that the next go around...

as for what i use ... i use a piece of shit stacked on a stick... its the jvc everio 1080p version... was about 800 bucks a year ago... worth crap now hahahaha...

and as for what i shoot... i have no clue ... i can and will do anything... what grabs me i guess... i am working on a documentary about drifting and i am doing satire interviews to break up the constant car footage as the video goes on... its hard to explain... unless you have seen skate videos of the 90's and 00

so... none of that really helps hahahahah but i think i get what your saying...

take a short for its experience and keep on keeping on...

probably better advice than i could have asked for... just keep going hahahahahaha
 
licenseless YOU SUCK !!

at making Mexican Food. I live in Texas, filled w/ Mexicans. How you gonna make Mex food w/o a good carnicería ?
I have one within a mile from my house, just had a great plate of Chicken Mole, rice, beans & tortillas there. Washed it down w/ some NA Sangria


I challenge you to a Mexican Cooking Video Challenge!!!

9minutes. Show me how to make some killer Mexican food w/ squid or bluefin tuna or whatever you got there ! What you gonna wash it down with ?? Sake ?? huh ? and mebbe some Umeshu for dessert ??

It's On !!

PS.. can you ship me some good Sake & Umeshu ?.. I make inferior Texas-style sushi, but Im trying. My squirrel sashimi is awesome. Stay away from my armadillo sashimi !! Disaster..Need good Sake, must have !:)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMraXSfY258
 
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licenseless said:
indie budget... i enjoyed your clip... it was more FREAKING CRAZY than sad to me... i almost expected her to be cleaning blood out of her finger nails before the minute was up... WOW... a bit crazy hahahahahah i enjoyed it
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Thanxx... she was trippy huh ? I was mostly going for the crazy bitch thing, but wanted something sad in it too. I did cheat and use extracted footage from my current project I must admit. Im going to film dropping the kid's body into the creek ( next to the taqueria ) by my house soon. Going to be a feature eventually.


JUS kidding on the food challenge...all in fun !

3 point lighting is having a main key light on one side, a somewhat dimmer light on the opposite side for fill and a backlight. Something I need to work on meself.

Have you seen the movie Breathless by Jean Luc Goddard, he made the film way longer than the studio wanted, so he had to cut a lot from it. Goddard was merciless in chopping the picture and his jump cuts worked well in his movie. I thought of his style when I cut together the 1 min clip.
 
IndieBudget said:
How you gonna make Mex food w/o a good carnicería ?
I have one within a mile from my house, just had a great plate of Chicken Mole, rice, beans & tortillas there. Washed it down w/ some NA Sangria
Click to expand...

I don't know what a carnicería is, but I want one. Richmond, VA is the worst place on Earth for Mexican food. During a visit to Chicago a few months ago, I got my hands on some authentic El Salvadoran food, at 3AM no less. Closest thing I've had to authentic Mexican in years.

Hold up, though -- did you say non-alcoholic sangria? Dude, that's called fruit punch! :lol:
 
Carnicería is a butchery... You guys seem to have your Robert Rodriguezness up uh? :lol:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBgsLmDcL78
 
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IndieBudget said:
Thanxx... she was trippy huh ? I was mostly going for the crazy bitch thing, but wanted something sad in it too. I did cheat and use extracted footage from my current project I must admit. Im going to film dropping the kid's body into the creek ( next to the taqueria ) by my house soon. Going to be a feature eventually.


JUS kidding on the food challenge...all in fun !

3 point lighting is having a main key light on one side, a somewhat dimmer light on the opposite side for fill and a backlight. Something I need to work on meself.

Have you seen the movie Breathless by Jean Luc Goddard, he made the film way longer than the studio wanted, so he had to cut a lot from it. Goddard was merciless in chopping the picture and his jump cuts worked well in his movie. I thought of his style when I cut together the 1 min clip.
Click to expand...

ahahahahahahahahaha

well first off... i was born and raised in dallas texas and greenville texas... i know all about my brown friends in the lone star state... and let me tell you... me and the wife talk about how much me miss real mexican food... small whole in the wall mexican restuarnts... that serve chips and salsa as a complementory and there are like 3 or 4 different salsa on the table... DEAR LORD WHY CANT THESE JAPANESE FIGURE OUT MEXICAN FOOD hahahaahahhaah

this is as good as it gets here....
http://www.obbligato.co.jp/

now as for how to make a cooking video hahahahahah well i go spear fishing during the warmer seasons... so if you want something to oogle your hungry eyes over...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/robertfischer/sets/72157618985154766/show/

i can get about 2 or 3 of those a night hahahahahah tasty...

this started off as fun... but now is my way of feeding people for parties

http://www.flickr.com/photos/robertfischer/sets/72157609040757393/show/

i have caught a couple of 4.5 kilo cuttlefish now... so... yeah... some good sashimi is in my future come this april hahahahah

i guess when the season starts back up i can make a how to catch clean and cook cuttle fish... even though you dont really need to clean it... you can just start eating it right out of the ocean... a little ogi san taught e that... he says "oh kubashimi ichi ban ichi ban ichi ban" hahahahaha then took a bite right out of it hahahahahahah

as for the saki... well i am in okinawa bro... so we have the most expensive and rarest saki ever...

(its actually not the most expensive but it sounds cool to say that and because they mass produce the crap out of it... its not that rare either hahahahaha)

http://www.ookii.org/post/okinawa_d...u_sake_for_sale.jpg.aspx#img=32_habu_sake.jpg

now that is some good saki... well its actually not hahahha its really bitter... but they have some sweet version of it that are more like awamori... but either way... i love it hahahahah i will probably bring a 1 liter bottle home with me when i leave here... costs around a 100 bucks...
 
JakeSully said:
Carnicería is a butchery... You guys seem to have your Robert Rodriguezness up uh? :lol:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBgsLmDcL78
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mmmmmmmmmmmmm breakfast burritos

we use egg bacon sausage cheese salsa diced onions and diced green peppers in ours... and throw it in a flour tortilla... MAGNIFICENT... and if its not hot enough... jalapeños are the key
 
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