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Thanks ever so much. I'll use this critique and go back in to the script. EDIT: I like your character description. Any way I re-write it, it will come out basically the same way. Can i use yours?

Hey guys. Lately, I've been working on this script. It's a sci-fi, crime film that discusses... Well, you can see that for yourself. :D I'd appreciate it if you guys could tell me what's wrong with it. Be honest. As the metaphor goes, "I'll take my coffee black." I appreciate any critiques...

:rolleyes: My lord. Can't people just pick their political views, vote for who they want, and then shut the fuck up? Instead, they feel the need to make schtuff up about movies, that's clearly false. :no::no::no:

As am I.

You may be the first person I've ever heard say that. Not like it's a bad thing. Obviously, i like Maggie Gyllenhaal better. To each his own.

Yeah, the bland performances by usually great actors, shaky-cam, and a film that seems like it's really two spliced together really make it superior to the dark, gritty Crime film that knows what it's trying to be. Also, no shaky-cam in the sequel and better yet, Heath Ledger! I mean, really...

I've got to agree with you there. Batman Begins was mediocre to the point I was dragged to Dark Knight. (But I sure am glad that person dragged me.) Real life schtuff is making me see the movie on the 28th.:rolleyes:

Nearest theater to me is about an hour away. ...maybe I can con someone into giving me a ride :D

I hope my Inception worked on you. :cool: Absolutely! Take a shot at whatever idea you liked.

This is something I've also done, and it did work. I even went after two actors specifically, and got my male leads. Without giving much away, my story is an homage to an old, classic tale. Ironically, about sixth months ago, these two actors actually played these specific parts in their...

Maybe he's shutting down the business and is "laying off" all of his workers:lol:

It's not that i'm not willing to drive, it's just that at the moment I'm unable. It's a long story. But yeah, I'd totally be up for shooting in Roanoke, God willing.

Like I said before: not a problem.

I've never heard of the latter two. I may give them a shot. And thanks for the encouragement.

No problem, Chris. As for the ending.... It should be dark. I definitely agree about that. I'm not saying that he can't die, I'm just saying that right now it doesn't make sense why he would (at least with his murderer being The Boss.) You could explain that he didn't do things by the books...

Sadly, no. I can drive about an hour to Roanoke, but that means I'd probably have to comprise to filming there. That would mean permits... Doing that would, sadly, be too much of a mess.

Glad to give some help on this. I've critiqued other people's works before, so I can offer a seasoned opinion. Well, some what seasoned. I'm going to go through some of the things that stuck out to me; both good and lackluster. PROS: The mood was building at the beginning was marvelous. I was...

I've actually just done something similar, because I and another filmmaker on here are teaming up to submit to Virginia Film Festival. Exposition should really only be a few lines of dialog. The best way to show it is through dramatic performances. I recommend randomly coming up with log...

Wow. That's one film I never thought Hollywood would touch. As much as I dislike the idea of tampering with it, I'll see it because it's Raimi. I just hope this doesn't turn out like Burton's Willy Wonka. Eh, could be interesting. Thanks for bringing this to our attention. :D

Not to mention Dracula's Daughter and Frankenstein's Daughter. :D