Recent content by scrawlx1012

Logline: A runaway fends for his life against supernatural forces who seek to eliminate him before he can achieve his destiny. Link to script:https://drive.google.com/file/d/1VUqvTiS1xxtH0GwAOQujkX27Txa4Eq4_/view?usp=sharing 1. Do I have a clear conflict? 2...

Really appreciate this advice all - thank you so much

I've written and created one short film in 2018 - since then life and work have got in the way(became a teacher during the pandemic so lots of my free time was taken up but looking to use my time better). I am trying to get back on track pursuing this dream as its a new year but my questions to...

Link to Script: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1erHMq1cDGX9xZyTx1Z7bx6BP_ycaO_G-/view?usp=sharing So I feel pretty pleased with this first draft I wrote, I think the storyline is interesting. LOGLINE: When a young man sees his mother killed by a member of the notorious Roundtable, he will stop...

T Thank you for this, is helpful - I may take to storyboarding scenes before I write in the future.

Thank you for the feedback - I'm going to go back to the drawing board of my outline and rethink my main theme - I wanted to ask - what would the proper formatting be for a series of shots and how is that different to a montage? When referring to adjectives when describing characters is there a...

So I've decided to try and write a feature film (1 hr 30 mins) and I'd appreciate feedback on what I have written so far. LOGLINE: A cautious librarian and his best friend are forced to work with the Resistance, after being involved in a car chase lead by their charismatic leader, a loud and...

Logline: A leader of a criminal organisation realises that he has fallen for the wrong woman, his best friend's girlfriend. Link to the script: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1c_2ZaIdpMPF_buaBbZzu4JIzR0viTIPP/view?usp=sharing Would really appreciate feedback on the following: Do I have a...

How do I write shorter , more pacy action lines - lots of the critique I am getting is that I am using longer lines which make it harder for people to get through my work and that I could say things in a more simple way? I acknowledge this as a problem but I'm struggling to fix this - I also...

I have also made changes to the original script I have sent: Hopefully the action lines are shorter now? https://drive.google.com/file/d/19g6IkKkikWx5K-AxkYWQujSH7wodWo5i/view?usp=sharing

Thank you for the feedback. This has been really helpful. I wanted to ask a question regarding parallel spacing. How can I do this more effectively? I thought witholding information is good for the supernatural/mystery genre also? Are there any scripts you recommend reading so that I can get...

Any ideas?

Pretty sure you can borrow and steal. For example, both DC and Marvel have similar ideas/themes/characters with the exact same skillset but different personalities

Would really appreciate feedback about the following: Is the plot small enough for a small short film or are there too many moving parts? Are the characters interesting? How can I make them better? How can I improve my dialogue? What are your thoughts on my action lines? Does my story have...

Thoughts on this version: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rCIppG0SX0AXc1EEq6d5DrFv-1JE2VLt/view?usp=sharing Planning to do a swab for grammar and spag errors but I've tried to tidy up the plot and cut out some dialogue