A little late to the party but here's my critique: "has potential, but ..."
From a strictly technical point of view, there are several inconsistencies (e.g. the multiple labels for the Prof remarked upon by
@mlesemann above) and also some strange use of language [
anguishly ?] but they could be tidied up in a rewrite.
The scenes in Fox's home seem to serve no purpose other than to show that Fox is equally obnoxious to his family as his patients ... but that doesn't add anything to the central theme. From a production point of view, that's adding an extra location and an extra character for no extra value.
Then there's a problem with internal coherence.
- Aziz's dialogue suggests that he's at the very beginning of the consultation process, yet it's over and done and he's out the door without any explanation of why he's shouting that Fox is the worst doctor ever (and he's out the door before he says that ... Why wouldn't he say it while still face-to-face in the room?)
- Mary Appleberg, addressing Fox as "Fox" (not Doctor, not Professor) would appear to have a very superior status in the hospital. She's there to fire him, so why would she waste time reading his award certs to him? And then there's a reference to a considerable number of complaints, yet the offer she makes to Fox is to see just one patient, and on just two occasions within one week.
- Tim. Following on from the previous comment, who the hell is he? How come he wields so much power with the hospital committee that he can decide Fox's fate? Why would Fox walk out of his own consulting room on
him (leaving him to rifle through Fox's desk)? Other than the threat of outing him, what is it about Tim that would inspire a character such as Fox to confide in him about his black-market drug purchases? And what kind of voodoo did he practise on Fox to suddenly turn him into a relatively pleasant character who ... rings the doorbell of his own house???
Also, while I know it's unnecessarily common for haughty consultants to refer to their patients by case number or disease when discussing them
with a third party, I don't think I've ever come across a case where they deliberately refer to them
in person by their case number. That would surely have provoked the kind of negative feedback that would have had Fox sacked years ago!
So I think the script needs a lot more development of the relationship between Fox and Tim, with an explanation of how/why Tim can get him to pass his performance review when nobody else could. Get rid of Tilda completely unless she can be included in that development (I can't see how, in such a short screenplay); but maybe make more use of Mary Appleberg, either as someone who wants to keep Fox on the staff despite the other board members, or someone who's trying to get rid of him (and accidentally sends him a saviour in the form of Tim?)