That was the plan!
It seems to me that you've found a way to (oversimplifying, but still) meld a zombie film onto a slasher film: pretty smart
You got it. So glad that idea comes over!
I think the flashback in isolation is a bit clunky. Could you have the opening scene presenting the carnage in some unusual way, and then the flashback providing the explanation of how a corpse ended up (for example) hanging from a tree by its ankles or whatever unusual configuration you choose to use?
Well, it’s possible. The bloody arm we see at the start doesn’t necessarily belong to Kate (who is killed in the flashback). The flashback is just there to add a little bit of depth Grant, to show that he is, seemingly, crazy (and to give him something remotely interesting to say). The flashback itself, I only picture lasting for about 10 seconds, just to give an interesting reference point to Grants previous line. It’s not necessary; if it doesn’t work, it could be cut completely.
Also, do you mean trachea when you wrote "oesophagus"? Not that it makes a huge amount of difference for where the pressure is applied...
I guess you’re right! I didn’t even think about it; I was just after a synonym for throat (rather than writing throat over and over and over and…)
Extremly short but I liked it. The whole thing feel like a setp up for something bigger. I think you should develop it more and see where it goes.
I’ve already written the feature version of this (actually, I wrote it many years ago!). It’s probably my favourite thing I’ve written, especially in term of originality. This short kind-of acts as a prequel to the feature, as this camp is shown in a similar fashion at the start of that screenplay.
…I would perhaps condense some of the action in the script to keep things trimmer and give more room for interpretation on set.
That’s good advice. I think this would be a case of, irrespective of what’s written, just get as much coverage as possible, for as many options in the edit.
I plan to!
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This is actually for a really cool competition (only open to UK residents, unfortunately):
Shortcuts To Hell II
They’re looking for shorts, under 3 minutes, that show the potential of a feature film, but work as a stand-alone short. The prize is a minimum of £20,000 (maybe more, depending on other sponsors/investors), and the assistance, to produce that feature.
They ran this competition last year, but with more restrictions. The competition was actually prefixed with 666, with “6” being the theme (only 6 cast and crew, only 6 lines of dialogue, only 6 titles to choose from (all with “6” in them)…). Those restrictions meant it didn’t really appeal to me. I believe IT’er LDS produced an entry…
This one however, with those restrictions removed, is much more appealing. Last year, the top 26 had their shorts assembled into an “ABC’s of Death” style anthology film, available on iTunes. I’d be ecstatic if I even got that far!
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