archived-videos Diarrhear - A Comedy Short Film (FEEDBACK WANTED!!)

Micah Conrad

Micah Conrad

Hey everybody. I just finished editing my newest comedy short film (it's only 4 min without credits so won't take much of your time!) that I wrote, directed, and starred in and would really appreciate your feedback. Filmmaking is my passion, I love it. But in order for me to become better at my craft I need critique from my audience! If you can spare a few minutes and tell me what you liked/didn't like about one or all of the following I would GREATLY appreciate it!

1. Editing--Was it smooth? Did it make sense? Good timing? etc

2. Acting--Was it believable? Was it funny?

3. Story/Dialogue--Could you follow the story? Did it make sense? Was it funny?

4. Cinematography/Lighting--Did it feel like "film"? Did the lighting look correct? Camera position correct? etc

5. Any other comments/critique/ you may have!

Thank you all in advance!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c36JPPFpLs4
 
Upvote 0
Great job man! I really liked it it was funny. You and whoever that kid are are good actors. I could follow easily but there was only one shot I didn't like, the one where the dad was looking at his kid who was on the bed, they were both off to one side of the camera and it looked a little weird. Sorry if that seems mean but I am just trying to give some constructive criticism like you asked.

Also, what camera did you use?

Peace out.
 
Micah Conrad said:
1. Editing--Was it smooth? Did it make sense? Good timing? etc
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For the most part, editing was fine. The inserts of the glass seemed off-pace & rushed, though.

2. Acting--Was it believable? Was it funny?
Click to expand...

Normally, for me, young actors playing older adults doesn't work. At all. You see it a lot in college-age films, where the production thinks they can slide by, by not casting age-appropriate actors. Your prod (while certainly not age-appropriate) plays it well, with an obviously fake moustache and an earnest attempt at playing the voice. So while I can't say it was "believable"... it was funny, and buyable. Actually, the father reminded me of some of the obvious caricatured Kids in the Hall sketches.

The young kid was pretty good, in his own right. Out of all three, probably the best.

3. Story/Dialogue--Could you follow the story? Did it make sense? Was it funny?
Click to expand...

Yes, made sense. Yes, was funny in its recounting by the father. Missed the mark with the recap with the wife.

4. Cinematography/Lighting--Did it feel like "film"? Did the lighting look correct? Camera position correct? etc
Click to expand...

Did not feel like "film". Looked like reasonable DSLR. Lighting was lazy. Camerawork itself was pretty good. Lots of crossing the line going on, though. A hurdle for the editor, but s/he works with what they have, I guess.

5. Any other comments/critique/ you may have!
Click to expand...

Ending with wife just looks mismatched; both as age-inapropriate, and visually for setting. Learn to control your large expanses of window.

Also, the audio quality overall was god-awful.

Hope that was helpful. :cool:
 
Thanks dude for the feedback! No I completely agree about the placement of the camera during the conversation by the bed. The eye levels were completely off. I didn't notice it while filming due to my inexperience and my cinematographer didn't realize it either. We both definitely learned our lesson.

Thanks for the comment!
mrachieveify said:
Great job man! I really liked it it was funny. You and whoever that kid are are good actors. I could follow easily but there was only one shot I didn't like, the one where the dad was looking at his kid who was on the bed, they were both off to one side of the camera and it looked a little weird. Sorry if that seems mean but I am just trying to give some constructive criticism like you asked.

Also, what camera did you use?

Peace out.
Click to expand...
 
Thank you very much Zensteve for the detailed response!! I agree with the fact I didn't use proper actors for the appropriate roles. I guess my thought was hey, I love to act and attempt anything and everything so I can expand my overall acting experience. But for the overall effect, yes, the proper age is a must.

I have an idea about what you mean by "crossing the line", but could you explain a little more? Sorry for my ignorance.

Also what do you mean by "learn to control your large expanses of window"? Again sorry for the ignorance.

And yes I completely agree about the audio. Did our best for not having a boom operator during the bedroom scene but still didn't turn out that great.

Thanks again for your critique! I really appreciate it!
Zensteve said:
For the most part, editing was fine. The inserts of the glass seemed off-pace & rushed, though.



Normally, for me, young actors playing older adults doesn't work. At all. You see it a lot in college-age films, where the production thinks they can slide by, by not casting age-appropriate actors. Your prod (while certainly not age-appropriate) plays it well, with an obviously fake moustache and an earnest attempt at playing the voice. So while I can't say it was "believable"... it was funny, and buyable. Actually, the father reminded me of some of the obvious caricatured Kids in the Hall sketches.

The young kid was pretty good, in his own right. Out of all three, probably the best.



Yes, made sense. Yes, was funny in its recounting by the father. Missed the mark with the recap with the wife.



Did not feel like "film". Looked like reasonable DSLR. Lighting was lazy. Camerawork itself was pretty good. Lots of crossing the line going on, though. A hurdle for the editor, but s/he works with what they have, I guess.



Ending with wife just looks mismatched; both as age-inapropriate, and visually for setting. Learn to control your large expanses of window.

Also, the audio quality overall was god-awful.

Hope that was helpful. :cool:
Click to expand...
 
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