What IS the story? Dalton is the last man in the world who pretends to interview himself, presumably because he’s bored, being the last man in the world and all. He pulls the petals from a flower on a trampoline and keeps seeing an alien, who disappears each time. The alien turns out to be Upton Sinclair, the author, who died in 1968 I believe; although there is nothing that would lead us to believe it except for the fact the alien says so. He tells Dalton they’ve been testing him, he’s there to help him, then disappears again, which leaves Dalton on his knees asking “Why me?” Have I got it about right?
The title, “The Upton Sinclair Syndrome” is likely an allusion to one of Sincalir’s novels or writings. But I am not a fan, nor have I read much by him, so what the allusion is escapes me.
To your question, is this a good script for a short, I would answer no. Do I think you need to “add to it more and such?” Yes.
What should you add? I have absolutely no idea, since I can’t for the life of me understand what the point is. I suppose it could work as a purely surreal viewing experience, experimental and such.
I’m sorry I couldn’t be more helpful. Best of luck with it!
-Charles